AIBU to think my husband is a bit of a dick?

[FlamingoFloss]

I know in the grand scheme of things (and compared to other people and their issues) this may not be a thing, but it is to me. I went away last weekend for three nights. I feed a fox outside my house every single night. I have cats and I feed the fox any leftover food and I have been doing so for well over a year. if I don’t have enough leftover food then I’ve lots of cats food and so I make it up a little bit - my husband knows this. He doesn’t have a problem or he never has and is actually grateful I put the leftover food out rather than putting in the bin as it stops the flies.

So tonight I find out he did not feed the fox for the time that I was away because he doesn’t care apparently. I said to him he knows this is important to me and he said he just doesn’t care and that the cats are even lucky they got fed.

Who is this man who knows that this is a big deal for me and yet just didint even bother? and the fact he’s even said that about feeding our own pets????

Yes he’s a dick re the cat.

But no, you should not feed city foxes. Experts and wildlife organizations strongly advise against it for the health of both the foxes and the local community. 1, 2, 3]
Why You Should Not Feed Them

• Loss of Fear: Regular feeding makes foxes associate humans with food. They lose their natural caution and may approach people boldly. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
• Accidental Aggression: A habituated fox might approach someone expecting food. If none is given, it may snap or scratch out of frustration. 1, 2, 3]
• Pest Attraction: Left-out food quickly attracts unwanted pests. This includes rats, mice, and feral pigeons. 1, 2, 3, 4]
• Overpopulation: Artificial feeding creates an artificially high food supply. This leads to higher fox density in a small area, causing territory fights. 1, 2, 3]
• Poor Nutrition: Human food scraps often lack the correct nutrients. Foxes need a natural diet of rodents, insects, and wild fruit to stay healthy. 1, 2, 3, 4]
• Neighbour Disruption: Foxes attracted to your yard will also frequent your neighbours' gardens. This can cause property damage, dug-up lawns, and fouling. 1, 2]

How to Help Safely If you enjoy seeing foxes and want to support them without causing harm, follow these guidelines:

• Provide Water: Leave out a fresh bowl of water. This is especially helpful during hot summer heatwaves or deep winter freezes.
• Observe Safely: Watch them from a distance. Do not try to tame, pet, or hand-feed them.
• Treat Mange: If a local fox is sick or has mange, contact a charity like the RSPCA or The Fox Project. They can provide medicated food to safely treat the animal. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

I could not love a man who did this.
He doesn’t care about animals be it wildlife or pets, or about you.
He disrespects your decisions and can’t be trusted.
Really horrible.

She actually stated “people like you..”

Stop feeding the fucking foxes.

Really irresponsible.

Doesn’t your council provide a food waste bin?

I would definitely take the "lucky" comment as a joke. It wouldn't even register as something to be pissed off about.

Maybe he doesn't like the whole fox situation and was using this as an opportunity to break the foxes routine.

Surprised you’ve admitted that. If I were your husband I’d have a massive problem with liking you on that basis.

How on earth is feeding a fox caring about it? I would love to hear

Although I agree with this, I don't think OP would have taken "no" for an answer.

In fact, we don't know how that conversation went.

I'd take anything the OP said in the opening post about this issue with a huge pinch of salt.

In fact in I'd be advising him to leave.

If I caught my dh feeding foxes, I'd be absolutely livid.
Like a previous poster, we had a rat issue likely down to next door feeding them.
Horrendous.

To all those saying foxes should not eat human food, course they do, urban foxes are scavengers. That’s due to our human habits.

OP, if we didn’t have hens I’d probably do exactly what you do, foxes are becoming a lot more brave with humans as a species anyway. I’ve had several encounters with foxes being very tame. They’re absolutely beautiful. Must be lovely having that interaction with the fox each night.

At least she’d know where she stood though. She may be really difficult to say no to. She may be a total loon who’d have kicked off. I doubt it though, because if that were the case I suspect if when she asked if he’d done it he’d have said “sure”. Saying he’d do it, then saying he didn’t bother because he doesn’t care is just spiteful.

You do realise that rats are eaten by foxes? The rat problem is nothing to do with foxes, and if anything there will be less rats around with foxes?

Feeding foxes is very selfish behaviour. Such an ignorant thing to do with no knowledge or care for the delicate ecosystem.

You are not thinking about the long term welfare of the foxes by feeding them.

And that's fine. It was agreed before we got a dog. My husbands other options were to leave or not have have a dog.

How do you know you’re feeding a fox and not a bunch of rats?

Yea, even the advice from that expert is mixed. They offer tips on what to feed foxes. Most wildlife trusts also don’t say don’t feed. The OP is probably giving them too much if she’s making it up, but that’s it.

foxproject.org.uk/pages/red-fox-diet

Surely she manages when you're both on holiday? I mean, I've no strong feelings either way on the rights or wrongs of feeding her, but they're pretty good at fending for themselves.

Your h, however, sounds like the sort of man who will regard parenting as optional. You know, he'll help you out with your frivolous little hobby of having a child now and then, if he's feeling generous.

Foxes are nasty serial killers - they kill for pleasure and not food and should b shot not fed

It very much does attract rats. They can smell the food. Plus there may be scraps leftover.

The fox does not need to eat the rats if a human is feeding it.
Why expend energy when it does not have to?

So what eats the rats? Nothing!

People who feed foxes are misguided idiots imo.
@FlamingoFloss you have effectively reduced that foxes territory to 10% of what it should be.
You've increased the chance of parasitic worms in both yours and your neighbours soil.
My neighbour opposite daren't put her new born baby outside because her garden is overrun with foxes due to the ndn on her left feeding them.
We can't leave anything in our garden overnight.

It’s ridiculous to compare a cat to a child

You are being cruel. If foxes rely on humans, they lose essential skills for survival.

Fed foxes no longer need to hunt and forage across a wide area, reducing their territory and concentrating all their mess—and burrowing—into a very small area. 1, 2, 3]

You are being irresponsible. Leaving food out inevitably attracts rats, mice, and other unwelcome pests.

Regular feeding makes them bold around humans. This can cause them to approach strangers or small children expecting food, which poses a risk of biting

You sound super intense given the tone of your responses. I think you are both as bad as each other.

What an absurd post.

Not feeding a wild animal that shouldn't be fed AT ALL by humans in their garden as it brings all sorts of unintended nasty consequences = not being a good parent.

Absurd.

Person feeding the fox is the dick in this situation. Husband's comments about feeding the cats probably just frustration at having to put up with dickish behaviour.