Aibu to overthink boyfriend never posts me on socials?

[rachel55488]

Hey girls so I really need advice here because it’s something me and my boyfriend keep arguing over. On WhatsApp he keeps changing his profile picture to a selfie of him. And has never posted me on his WhatsApp. And his instagram is also a picture of just him aswell. We have been arguing a good bit lately and he did have me and him on insta then we fell out bad one time and he actually changed it. I keep telling him I feel hidden away and he just keeps saying he never posts anything anyway (which he doesn’t) he has 2 sons and never even posts photos of them. Then he said but sure you have a selfie of you but my picture on WhatsApp is of me and my daughter and same with insta. To me that’s completely different. And I said this really seems like this is just for attention so other girls will message him etc. we’ve been together 6 months. He’s also a good bit older than me so we sort of see views different. He’s 42. I’m 31. I have tried to explain it annoys me but he still doesn’t change anything. Personally if a man came to me and said they were upset and felt hidden away I would change my profile pics straight away to make them happy? But that’s personally just me

OP, sorry but I assumed you must be very young before I saw you’re 31. Your boyfriend is only smart for not posting his kids! And it’s a bit crazy to demand him post pictures of you tbh. You need to let this go before he gets sick of this nonsense.

Every one of her posts is the same:

Something totally irrelevant has happened re her boyfriend, ie he edited a word on whatsapp to change the tense, she saw a new toothbrush in the bathroom, she's been reminded that he's 11 years older.

She then fixates on it for a few days, creates drama with him before posting AIBU about it.

The vote is always about 97% she is BU.

She ignores every post and is convinced her self-destructive behaviour was correct, before moving on to fixate on something else.

OP - you sound EXTREMELY immature. Until you stop creating drama you're never going to settle down with anyone.

I just can’t believe it’s real. Who lives like this? Posting endlessly, receiving so much backlash, but just blindly carrying on and then posting again and again. It can’t be real.

I know someone similar to this in real life, via a support group. Basically acts like she's at the centre of a Greek Tragedy. She moves from one support group to another, exhausting all the goodwill and ignoring it until everyone gets thoroughly sick of her, then off she goes again to the next one. I hasten to add that we all start off in good faith and are generous with our time and care.

My partner is a psychotherapist and says it sounds like a personality disorder of some sort, but obviously that's totally unconfirmed.

How many more threads are you going to make about this “relationship”?! You sound obsessively jealous and ridiculously immature. Scary that you’re 31 and a mother…..

Only read first post but I’m betting somewhere down the thread OP posts a comment along the lines of women knowing their worth, expectations etc etc

No no no no no!

A man should not want to "show HIS woman off"

Who are you? I was going say Wilma Flintstone, but even she wouldn't put up with this!!!

YABU. I was surprised to here your age, I honestly thought you may have been about 20. You clearly use social media in different ways, he isn't "hiding you" just because he doesn't post a photo of you both. You will probably push this man away if you keep continuing to argue about this.

I’m actually shocked at your ages. This sounds like teen angst from someone insecure that wants everyone to know they are together.

(btw I don’t want to be ‘that person’ but it’s been a long time since most of us have been ‘girls’)

You're the toothbrush person aren't you? I would be embarrassed to be obsessing over this social media nonsense at your age. Get a grip please.

Married nearly 14 years and I’m not even FB friends with my husband. But…..we see each other all the time so we’re friends IRL.

Everyone knows me and dh are together yet he rarely posts anything about me or the kids. Hes barely on social media.

But this angst after 6 months? You seem very immature.

I’ve been with DP for 10 years. He’s never posted a picture of us together. He has little presence on social media and doesn’t post anything. It’s never occurred to me he may be hiding me.

If he demanded I have my profile picture as a picture of me and him, I’d tell him where to go.

Is it a red flag that he had me and him as his screensaver for about 2 weeks there then all of a sudden when I left him yesterday he has changed his screensaver ? Is that not strange looking

No! Absolutely none of these things are red flags at all! This is all your own paranoia.

He should honestly run. You sound absolutely suffocating and immature. Grow up.

No, the only red flag is you. I seriously can’t stand controlling and insecure people - there’s nothing more unattractive.

How are you in your 30s and you’re worried about the screensaver of someone you’ve known for 6 months? Do you not have a job, kids or hobbies to fill your time?

I’ve had experience with an ex partner who was similarly weird about shit like this, so when I read about it from either side on here now it really makes me mad. People like you and my ex have no business being in relationships until you can sort your toxic shit out.

Oh, god - it’s that loon? I didn’t even realise that before I commented. Poor guy needs to run, honestly.

Toothbrush person?

Her boyfriend bought some new toothbrushes. She thought it was a sign he had other women staying over. Lengthy thread.

He’s 42. It would be more concerning if he was into posting on social media.

Reading your previous posts you sound about 15.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5547026-aibu-to-overthink-random-toothbrushes-in-boyfriends

From 2 days ago

Jesus. Glad I missed that one.

Can we somehow find the boyfriend and stage an intervention to save him?