Aibu to overthink boyfriend never posts me on socials?

[rachel55488]

Hey girls so I really need advice here because it’s something me and my boyfriend keep arguing over. On WhatsApp he keeps changing his profile picture to a selfie of him. And has never posted me on his WhatsApp. And his instagram is also a picture of just him aswell. We have been arguing a good bit lately and he did have me and him on insta then we fell out bad one time and he actually changed it. I keep telling him I feel hidden away and he just keeps saying he never posts anything anyway (which he doesn’t) he has 2 sons and never even posts photos of them. Then he said but sure you have a selfie of you but my picture on WhatsApp is of me and my daughter and same with insta. To me that’s completely different. And I said this really seems like this is just for attention so other girls will message him etc. we’ve been together 6 months. He’s also a good bit older than me so we sort of see views different. He’s 42. I’m 31. I have tried to explain it annoys me but he still doesn’t change anything. Personally if a man came to me and said they were upset and felt hidden away I would change my profile pics straight away to make them happy? But that’s personally just me

It’s his profile picture on WhatsApp. Not a shared account. I think it’s quite normal to just have yourself as your WhatsApp photo.

You sound like you're about 12

Respectfully, OP, you’ve been with this guy six months, have already caused issues by contacting his ex, have gone on some mad mental excursion involving an emoji used by someone who used to work in a shop with the ex, had a full on attack of paranoia about toothbrushes you thought indicated infidelity, and wanted to have children with him after five months because you think ‘he hasn’t got much time’, despite your own obvious poor MH and ADHD.

I’m not sure that ‘showing you off’ would be an obvious response to any of that. In your shoes, I would acknowledge that you’re not in the right headspace for a relationship, and concentrate on bringing up your six year old.

It means you have posted many threads about him in the last few months from

wanting a baby with him

worried about extra toothbrush

making bf block his ex for no reason

Frighteningly, she has a six year old according to another thread.

A man should want to show his woman off.
Ffs are you a trophy.
Do you like to be center of attention.

This man needs to run and run fast.

Don’t forget the ‘someone who used to work with his ex used a shocked emoji’

most people I know just have a pic of themselves on social media, or perhaps, randomly, their dog. I don’t even have one at all just one of those fake avatar thingys

posting a pic of yourself and your partner is slightly weird IMO. The account is personal. Not of the couple.

I’m close to your DP’s age and this really is a weird thing to be wound up about tbh. He, like me, grew up in the pre social media era

@rachel55488 the question you should be asking yourself is “why do i need validation in social media”, “why does this bother me so much”.

is you SM acct fully private or are you the type with a public acct, hundreds of followers that you
ve never met in real life and document her life online?

this is a real issue with Gen Z that your self worth is how many followers and a BF putting a picture of the 2 of you.

even my 18 yrs old behave in a more mature way online and that says a lot - yep lots of selfies 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

my husband social is solely to like my posts in my professional and see what the teens post, thats it.
his picture? I think one of the dog. Does that mean he loves the dog more than us after 22yes if marriage? 🤣 probably lol

Err, no, he shouldn’t

Kindly, you're 31 and have a child. He's 42 with 2 grown children. You're acting like a 14 year old.

You need to focus on raising your child. This relationship is utterly doomed.

Omg thank you. This poster is insane!

A man should want to show his women off

Respectfully. Fuck that.

A mother should focus on her SIX year old child more...

Too busy planning more kids with this poor man...

Early days. He's not into social media. I've never posted my boyfriend of 2 years - I post once or twice a year.

We’re women, not girls. You’re 31. A woman. Not a girl. Not a teenager. You’ve been dating someone for 6 months and you want it plastered all over social media? Why? You sound unhinged. He sounds fed up. Until you start acting like a grown up you will be annoyed with him. You’re just not compatible.

A search on your other posts show you are obsessed and paranoid about this man. His toothbrushes, his social media, his ex’s and about wanting a baby with him 5 months in. In kindness, I think you should have therapy and not have a relationship until you are more secure in yourself.

Probably for the same reason as the SM obsession — a child together publicly ‘parades’ their relationship in the eyes of the world, in the view of a deeply insecure, paranoid woman. Despite them already having three existing children together.

OP, it sounds highly unlikely to me that, with two existing children of those ages, he’s going to have any interest in having more.

OP, it sounds highly unlikely to me that, with two existing children of those ages, he’s going to have any interest in having more.

Certainly not with someone who he sees basically once a week yet picks a silly fight every week by the sounds of it.

I am happily married fir 18 years and have only briefly referenced the love of my life on socials once no photos , kids rarely

if they asked me to post more id think they were nuts snd v insecure and would not

if they wanted me to post to warm off potential love interest id be concerned for their mental health

to be this insecure do early snd so fixated on socials is a sign something is wrong either you cant trust him or you need help with relationship issues

i suggest you take a break from on line and live more in real life

Im another who is amazed that you’re in your 30s. I had a more mature approach to my boyfriends when I was 14!

So is this poster genuine or just a troll flying under the Mumsnet radar so far…

Please grow up Op. I’ve been happily married 20 years ( been together 27) and I’ve never had my DH in my profile picture and vice versa.
Social media isn’t everything. How they treat you is the best indicator as to what kind of man he is.
You sound immature, entitled and too engrossed in social media and the ills of it. To be honest I think you’re the red flag, not him.

31?! And this is what’s bothering you?
Please have a chat with yourself and grow up.