You say you're autistic, is that self diagnosed?
I think you should put some of your queries into google, and see whether the Internet thinks youre behaviours are rational.
From Google;
Understanding the Root of the Behavior
Rather than abuse, the OP’s reactions stem from standard relationship dynamics:
Anxious Attachment: The desire to see a shared photo is often a request for reassurance and public commitment, especially at the 6-month mark.
Hyper-Vigilance: Because they already "argue a good bit," her focus on his selfies is an alarm bell telling her that the relationship is unstable. She is looking at his profile picture changes as proof that he is pulling away or looking for other options.
Different Relationship Scripts: The OP believes a loving partner should automatically change their behavior to make the other happy. When he refuses, she interprets it as a lack of love, which fuels more arguing.
Where the Behavior Becomes Unhealthy
While not abusive, the cycle they are trapped in is highly counterproductive. Constantly demanding that a partner change their profile picture after they have already said "no" crosses into hyper-fixation. It attempts to force a outward symbol of security rather than fixing the actual trust issues happening offline.