AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

[Pipiscoming2023]

My DH started taking Mounjaro a few months ago and has lot 3 stone since then. He’s back to the weight he was in our 20s/when we got married.

I categorically don’t want to take medication to lose weight and work hard at the gym (at least 3x per week) and eat well. I’m strong but still a size 18, it’s slow progress but I’m okay with that.

Anyway, his mum is obsessed with our weight (I know it’s a her problem but I still find it hard to deal with the constant comments). So she’s has been heaping praise on her wonderful son for losing so much weight and asking me how often I go to the gym etc… clearly with the undertone of “why aren’t you losing the same?”

He doesn’t want to tell her he’s on the jabs. Fine, that’s down to him. But I’m starting to resent him for eating what he wants, not going to the gym and losing all this weight (and being praised incessantly for it) whereas I’m working hard and trying to make myself strong and healthy, and feel like I’m being judged and made to feel terrible.

What I find very odd about this thread is the insistence that those of us who lost weight without the drugs are jealous. I can assure you I’m not. Even if my bmi became that of needing them I would not take the drugs because I am extremely skeptical of over medicating.

Nor am I ashamed for a view that I know a great many people share. I don’t begrudge people health. I wish people were just more honest about it and would admit taking them is an easier option than putting the work in without.

😂 yeah you don’t sound jealous at all.

This is a bit of a goalpost move. You initially said you didn't agree with the jabs being used for minor obesity. But obese people who do it via the 'hard work' route you were advocating are likelier than not to put the weight back on.

A person who's obese has the best chance at a healthy BMI through ongoing WLI usage. In order to not begrudge a lower end obese person health, that does require not being opposed to them taking the route that's most likely to make them a healthy BMI. Which is not traditional diet and exercise alone.

That wkuld be nasty. He chose not to tell his mum he takes a medication. His choice.

I think you’d find the other end would probably be more painful 😂

This thread… I don’t get what’s so hard to accept that of course it’s going to be easier to loose weight if you have your appetite suppressed! That is why they work! People who couldn’t loose weight before now can because the meds block out hunger. It is an easier option and it’s insane that’s not acknowledged.

Why would I be? I’m happy with me choices. I didn’t need weight loss injections like some people…

Fully understand the resentment. I overheard a school mum saying she’d just started the jabs last autumn and now she looks like a totally different person, I’d say she’s lost at least 5 stone in less than a year. It took me a year to lose 7 stone naturally a decade or so ago but it was tough and I put in lots of effort working out 6 days a week and tracking calories. So yeah, I get why it feels like a cheat code and that it makes you feel bitter.

Gosh that’s a surprise, and makes it so much worse. You’re now telling us you’re a healthy weight and feel fat people should suffer to lose weight.

I commented earlier I felt you were judgemental and foolish. Now I can’t write what I think,

id understand if you were fat and jealous. But someone who doesnt need them preaching to fat people about morality and how they should do the hard work.

Christ that’s deeply unpleasant.

I agree it's a deeply unpleasant attitude.

I battled for years with my weight. I had a BMI of over 30 for most of my adult life. I was fat, depressed, with high cholesterol. I had tried every diet under the sun and always put the weight back on.

I then used my own money to buy Mounjaro as a legitimate medication prescribed to me which I paid for myself and my GP was aware and in support of. I lost the weight and have been maintaining a healthy BMI for 9 months and counting since coming off the jabs.

I am much healthier, my cholesterol is in the normal level, my blood pressure is better and most importantly I feel so much happier and full of life. I refuse to feel guilty about that and if other people want to judge and feel morally superior or jealous then that is very unfortunate for them.

What it is more like it living 10 miles from work and one person leaves at 5am to walk there in the pissing rain or red weather warning whilst another catches the bus. Both can theoretically get to work on time, but one is less likely to pass out, sprain an ankle falling down a roadside ditch or think 'this is too hard, I'm a failure' and go home/phone in sick and is likely be able to do it again the next day and for the next 12 months. The employer doesn't give a shit as long as they're at work, the body doesn't care as long as the improvements to health actually happen. And there are no bonuses paid at the end of the year for being Employee who Suffered the Most to Get to Work. So no competition at all.

You still have to exercise and track calories on the jabs. It just makes you less hungry and crave food less which yes is a huge help but they’re still having to do the exercise which is made no easier and having to eat less

Stick to your regime. You'll lose the weight [I did] and keep it off because you'll have changed your lifestyle and eating habits. No one knows the longterm effects of taking WLI, but many people end up regaining the weight they've lost when they stop...so they start the treatment again. It's a quick fix, not a longterm solution.

There's no time limit on WLIs, and the WHO have approved them for long term usage for the treatment of obesity. So they very much are a long term solution.

I'd agree that from OPs description, DH sounds like he'd be at risk of putting it all back on again if he stopped, but there's no reason to think he's going to.

Yeah they do know the long term impacts. we’ve close to 40 years of data and, the scientists, well they are good at this shit, working out the effects on humans, from animal testing to parallel materials, to how cells react, to two decades of real life data. And the regulatory authorities well they know too., although I get you don’t.. And no one needs to come off the meds.

so,,,,

Many people regain weight, regardless of how it's lost. It's also not a so-cslled uick fix. About a pound a week for me.