AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

[Pipiscoming2023]

My DH started taking Mounjaro a few months ago and has lot 3 stone since then. He’s back to the weight he was in our 20s/when we got married.

I categorically don’t want to take medication to lose weight and work hard at the gym (at least 3x per week) and eat well. I’m strong but still a size 18, it’s slow progress but I’m okay with that.

Anyway, his mum is obsessed with our weight (I know it’s a her problem but I still find it hard to deal with the constant comments). So she’s has been heaping praise on her wonderful son for losing so much weight and asking me how often I go to the gym etc… clearly with the undertone of “why aren’t you losing the same?”

He doesn’t want to tell her he’s on the jabs. Fine, that’s down to him. But I’m starting to resent him for eating what he wants, not going to the gym and losing all this weight (and being praised incessantly for it) whereas I’m working hard and trying to make myself strong and healthy, and feel like I’m being judged and made to feel terrible.

@Pipiscoming2023 and asking me how often I go to the gym etc… clearly with the undertone of “why aren’t you losing the same?”

Putting your mum's comments aside, I'm going to let you in on a secret, OP...

Exercise does not cause weight loss.

Honestly I’m that petty that the next time she mentions your weight with a dig I would pointedly look at your dh and say well I’m not doing the jabs I’m doing it the right way and see what she says.

@Pipiscoming2023 Your MIL must be a bit thick if she hasn’t realised that her son has been able to achieve that weight loss with WLI. Losing 3 stone in a few monthhs before mounjaro would have been caused by illness or starving themselves

ignore the tactless bitch, and your husband needs to be more supportive

I wonder actually if she has clocked how he's lost the weight, and the constant remarks are a way of trying to shame OP into using WLIs as well.

@Pipiscoming2023

Just wait it out for now, and say 'yeah I know Maureen, he's done SOOOOOO well hasn't he? I'm sure I'll get there!'

Just bide your time because your DH will pile it all back on as soon as he stops the jabs. Your weight is taking much more time to come off, so it will take much longer to go back on. You may not even regain the weight. He most likely will.

Losing weight by sticking weight loss injections into your body is hardly a brilliant achievement. YOU are doing much better than him. Just remember that. And congratulations to you on what you've lost so far!

Exactly. NO-ONE loses 3 stone in 3 months unless they're on WLI, or they've been starving themselves, and were 8-9 stone or more overweight. Your mother-in-law sounds a bit dim @Pipiscoming2023

He's losing weight with the jags ,why don't you?
Fuck all to do with her , but so what

I’d caveat that. It does if it puts you into a calorie deficit. It definitely tones you as you lose the weight - more so if you’re on mounjaro and losing a lot of weight in a relatively short space of time.

I very much doubt she thinks they are doing it together, why on earth would she think that, he’s lost 3 stone, the op hasn’t lost any from what I can see, you’d have fk be really thick to think they are doing it together.

very surprised at the amount of grown women who think it’s the husbands job to say something to the mil and not the ops. I find that very odd, myself and all y friends would say hey lay off it, and put a stop to it, none of us would sit there meekly like it was the 1800s waiting for our husbands to defend us,

Maybe she didn’t think of it - I seem to be the only one who thinks lying by omission is still lying. His mum thinks they’re both losing weight naturally and she’s comparing OP’s progress unfavourably with his. He knows this and is allowing her to carry on with her misconception because it makes him look good. Whichever way you look at it, it’s a lie. Or if you prefer to couch it in different terms he’s not being honest. At the end of the day it’s the same thing.

Exercise does not put people in a calorie deficit.

As for toning, yes, exercise builds muscle - but it does not cause weight loss.

So does your DH's mum not KNOW he is using weight loss injections @Pipiscoming2023 ??? LOL, why have you not told her?!

If you work out and expend more energy than you are putting in, then it puts you into a calorie deficit. On its own it doesn’t ‘cause’ weight loss but as part of a diet and exercise regime it can be helpful.

No, whichever way you look at it it's not a lie. It's a lie if he's told her he's losing weight in a way other than WLIs. If he's not done that then it isn't the same thing and he isn't lying.

Though while we're speculating, I actually wonder if she knows full well how he's lost all that weight and is trying to get at OP to do the same.

@ThreadGuardDog If you work out and expend more energy than you are putting in, then it puts you into a calorie deficit.

So you didn't watch the video?

On its own it doesn’t ‘cause’ weight loss but as part of a diet and exercise regime it can be helpful.

Exercise is probably the single most important thing that anyone can do for their health.

But it does not cause weight loss.

Because irs his private medical information. They are husband and wife, not quarrelling siblings telling tales to mummy.

If she doesn’t think they are doing this together then why is she comparing her son’s weight loss with OP’s ? That doesn’t make any sense. Where did OP say she hadn’t lost any weight at all, apart from commenting that her MiL didn’t seem to think she had ?

Personally I would have told MiL to mind her own business long ago, but I can understand why a lot of women wouldn’t want to do this because of the fall out if would likely cause.

And calling people ‘thick’ on MN will get you deleted. You’ve already been pretty unpleasant to the OP, including calling her fat. You’ve been aggressive to people who take the opposite view to you, and you’ve been deleted a couple of times. This is a discussion forum. Everyone is entitled to express their opinion.

Unless OP is a medical professional involved with his care, there is nothing stopping her from telling her MiL he’s on WLI. If he had any balls he’d tell her himself instead of lapping up the praise while his mother side eyes his wife.

And don't they lose muscle first which is heavier that fat?

Probably because she will blab to everyman and his cat. She sounds the type. Needs to get her own life.

I watched the video. I didn’t say exercise alone causes weight loss - you actually quoted what I said, which is correct - On its own it doesn’t ‘cause’ weight loss but as part of a diet and exercise regime it can be helpful.**

Exercise helps you lose weight, when you combine it with diet. Physical activity preserves muscle, and is key to keeping the weight off long-term. Moving your body burns calories, thereby increasing your total daily energy output. It’s simple. If you consume more calories than you burn, you gain weight. People who exercise regularly are far more successful at keeping the lost weight off.

She doesn’t talk about the ops weight, she has asked indirect questions like how often are you going to thr gym, but the op is clear there is no discussion on her weight.

Yeah I picked up that too. there’s no virtue in picking the easy way sometimes, OP! Make life easier for yourself 😊 @Pipiscoming2023

You haven't understood the video then. It's proven that exercising has little impact on our overall energy output. Our bodies adapt and reduce our energy expenditure in other areas (NEET) to compensate. It's an evolutionary survival mechanism.

It's an opinion. It can't hurt you. There's no need to launch a personal attack. And yes, lying by omission is lying. If his mother is congratulating him on his efforts in losing weight, not disclosing his use of WLI is dishonest.