AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

[Pipiscoming2023]

My DH started taking Mounjaro a few months ago and has lot 3 stone since then. He’s back to the weight he was in our 20s/when we got married.

I categorically don’t want to take medication to lose weight and work hard at the gym (at least 3x per week) and eat well. I’m strong but still a size 18, it’s slow progress but I’m okay with that.

Anyway, his mum is obsessed with our weight (I know it’s a her problem but I still find it hard to deal with the constant comments). So she’s has been heaping praise on her wonderful son for losing so much weight and asking me how often I go to the gym etc… clearly with the undertone of “why aren’t you losing the same?”

He doesn’t want to tell her he’s on the jabs. Fine, that’s down to him. But I’m starting to resent him for eating what he wants, not going to the gym and losing all this weight (and being praised incessantly for it) whereas I’m working hard and trying to make myself strong and healthy, and feel like I’m being judged and made to feel terrible.

It's not fair for you to resent him when it's his mum who is the issue. You're doing great with the exercise and if he's genuinely eating what he wants and not exercising he won't keep the weight off for long when he comes off it!

Why doesn't he want to tell his DM he's using the jabs?

clearly with the undertone of “what aren’t you losing the same?”

Is there a clear undertone? Or is it something you are perceiving that might not be there? Are you resenting your husband but directing that at your MIL? What is she saying about you?

Then it’s up to your dh to talk to his mum instead of basking in the praise

Also men generally lose weight at a faster rate than women

Are you losing weight?

It doesn’t sound like your husband is the issue, it’s your MIL and your own issues with your own weight and how your husband has lost his weight.

There is a definite undertone. She used to ask me straight up why I don’t lose weight until I asked her not to talk about my body. She now asks it in more indirect ways (like how often am I going to the gym).

I don’t know why he doesn’t want to tell her. I assume he’s embarrassed or just likes the praise too much. When I ask he just says he doesn’t want to.

What do you mean eating what he wants, you need to diet on the meds. You also need to eat clean and healthy or you’d have gastro impacts. So Well done him. How can you resent him when it’s your choice not to take them and struggle,

She now asks it in more indirect ways (like how often am I going to the gym).

I’d tell her I go 3x more a week than her DS does! Why is she obsessed with both of your weight? Is she overweight or quite healthy and into gym?

He’s shouldn’t be eating what he wants or
the weighloss will stall and eventually go back on. MJ isn’t really the easy option everyone thinks it is, if there’s no lifestyle change (ie not eating whatever he wants) then there’s no point to it.

i have a mum obsessed with weight and it gets
tiring. I tell her it’s not appropriate to discuss bodyweight these days and she’ll
say I’m just complimenting you without realising that’s part of the problem. You have to just tell her to stop. What she says to her son is none of your business tho and him not wanting to reveal how he’s lost weight is his business. If you tell her then there’s a problem and it’s you.

YABU. You have the option to take the jabs, you don't want to. You shouldn't be pissy because he chose to take the jabs and lost weight.

Yeah either this is rage bait, or well this is rage bait. No one living with someone on thr meds thinks they jist eat what they wish and the fat melts off. Lol, that’s a social media myth,

In response to MIL enquiring about gym attendance I’d say ‘Why do you ask?’

I’d follow it up with ‘Mounjaro isn’t for everyone’ whilst giving DH a hard stare.

I think I’d have to “accidentally” let it slip that he’s on the jabs 😬🙈 oops!

I agree MIL is the problem here. I would spend far less time with her.

If you don’t want to lose weight that’s totally your decision. I doubt she would change her tune simply because DH is using WLI.

He does eat what he wants, he’s not eating healthy at work (still garage sandwiches, crisps and chocolate). I do healthy dinners for all of us and he will do a Huel for breakfast. If it’s his turn to ‘cook’ then he gets pizzas, fish and chips etc and then complains he has gastro problems the next day.

I think the resent is definitely more about the mum, everyone is right there. I just wish he would tell her the truth or tell her to leave me alone but he doesn’t.

You seem very immature for resenting your husband for his weight loss when you should have told your Mil to fuck off years ago.

Sounds like you’re taking responsibility for your own health in the way that works best for you.

And like you need to work on holding a very clear boundary with his mum around it being precisely none of her business.

Good for your husband on losing weight the way he wanted to. I’d try not to get too involved in his relationship with his mum, sounds complicated.

You know you are being unreasonable about your dh. He has chosen to take WLI and has the resulting benefits (and known & unknown risks).

You have chosen to take the drug free route which is an equally valid and laudable choice. You deserve equal respect for your efforts.

Your MIL should butt out. Her views are irrelevant and unhelpful.

You only lose weight on the jabs by eating less. So what does he “eats what he wants” mean? That he naturally doesn't fancy food as much so he’s eating less but you can see he isn’t mentally suffering to do so? Or that he is only eating a small number of calories but he’s using those calories on junk?

I can see why the latter would cause you resentment, but ultimately it’s your choice to not use the jabs.

For your MIL, I’d just keep telling her to stop talking about your body. If she continues, leave the conversation. That’s all you can do. It’s your husband’s choice not to tell her about the jabs, but he also should be telling her not to be a twat to you.

stand up for yourself op
no comments are required

Im on Mounjaro and have lost 4 stone. I haven’t told everyone I know but I couldn’t in all conscience sit there quiet and let my partner be judged in this way. I’d have to step in and defend you. And if I needed to tell someone that I was on MJ to shut them up then that’s what I’d do.

I would tell his mum he’s on the jabs 🤣

She sounds like a rude judgy cow. You couldn't pay me enough to voluntarily tell my dad I'm on the jabs!

I'd tell her you could take WLI like so many others do (looking sideways at DH) but you prefer not to.

If she goes on just tell her you're not interested in discussing your health with her.