Tipping waiting staff..

[JacknDiane]

Ive just read an article about football fans visiting the US and being frustrated at how expensive the tipping culture is over there. Its because US waiting staff are paid so little, the tips are meant to boost their wages. But visitors are saying the staff should be properly paid and its on businesses to ensure staff are properly paid, not on the customer to be expected to make up the wages shortfall. I think football fans from around the world are feeling the pinch in the US as they are getting ripped off anyway.

BUT its made me think. We dont eat out much here in the UK, its frankly expensive and not always great. But whenever we do eat out, I notice a service charge is always added automatically to the bill. And frankly it makes the bill quite a bit higher. Id love a cocktail with my dinner or lunch but I very very rarely have one, as they can be £8-£9 each. So I have either water or a soft drink. But then the bill comes and the tip is often £8-£9. That's the cocktail I usually deny myself. And it sort of pisses me off. I earn 25p over minimum wage. Dh isn't on much more. And im guessing the hospitality staff are on similar to me. Im in retail and I give customers good service . But I dont get tips and of course I dont expect tips. Yet waiting staff here get minimum wage and we still tip them 10% of the bill. So they'll be earning a whole lot more than me. Yet I feel mean if I dont tip.

What's the answer? Please bare in mind my earnings and how infrequently we eat out. Its a treat, and drinks are usually water or coke to keep costs down. Having a coffee at the end and sharing a dessert is a treat too.
Then the bill comes and im expected to tip someone better paid than me. The tip is always on the bill, gone are the days the tip feels optional.
And I know this isn't the waiting staff's fault. I know they dont make the rules and i know the tips are pooled between all staff working.
But it just feels too much when our budget is stretched to the limit. I also know ive tipped and the staff/ meal frankly weren't all that great. But I feel pressure when its on the bill.

Am I the only low waged person to feel like this?

Because at least some, if not all, of the people who have contributed to serving me will benefit.
Isn't that the point?

this is one of those sayings that people repeat without realising that it makes no sense. Why not 'if you can afford a main course you can afford three courses. If you can afford half a pint you can afford a cocktail. If you can afford the beefeater you can afford the ritz. If you can afford a meal for 2 you can cover the whole table. If you can afford to tip 15% you can afford to tip 30%.'

Why is not wanting to pay one extraneous payment cheap but not others?

Besides which its missing the key point that OP CAN'T afford the meal she wants (i.e. including a drink) and a tip.

It's also extremely snobby. So if other minimum wage workers can't really afford to tip because they are already stretching themselves to afford the very occasional treat out, they should just sit at home in the dark?

Typical MN “logic”.

Yes you are right, i need to just do this.

I was just thinking about this. I was looking at an Afternoon Tea , £50 a head. Then it said 12.5% will be added.
I know it’s usually discretionary for small groups (I’ve seen some compulsory for larger groups ) but it’s a piss take. I don’t go out as much as I used to , partly due to money but it’s not that nice anymore.
As you say , they are doing their job. I don’t get tips.

@HelpSendMoreMuesli The staff will come running out after you if you do that in the USA. They will want to know what was wrong!

I tend to think a very good meal with various courses is about more than just the kitchen but I would prefer the price to include everything. I think if someone can afford a top class restaurant, pay the price required. If it’s a pizza or burger and chips, deduct the top! It wholly depends where you eat.

Believe you me, the first time I did it, my dd was ready to crawl under the chair 😁
Now she doesn’t even raise an eyebrow.

Maybe if all the minimum and low paid workers got paid tips they could afford to eat out more often.

But they don't and being forced to top up a wage larger than their own for a service which requires fewer skills than their own job is too much for many people.

Still though, they are influenced by the wealthy who tell them 'you must pay this extra or you can't have this thing we take for granted' - if you can't afford to pay more then stay at home pleb.

I find lower paid or working class people more generous and more sensitive to being seen as tight.

Also, forced service charge doesn't consider the skill level of the server at all - they could be experienced, knowledgeable and excellent at their job - or brand new, utterly clueless and terrible - service charge will still be applied. (although more likely for people to ask to have it removed)

Everywhere I eat in my local area (south east) adds a service charge. Makes it easier than working out a tip which I did anyway.

@Zanatdy But why do you add a tip??

Why are you paying the person who has already been paid?

Everybody is getting a wage. The point I was responding to was about why tips are pooled in a restaurant. The thread is about tips

I pay around £20 - £25 and just round the sum up. It’s a quick in and out every 4 weeks and makes a huge difference to my appearance.

I'm glad there are a mix of big tippers and non tippers on this thread. It kind of evens it all out. The big tippers are paying for the non tippers and everyone seems to be happy about it. Great result.

That’s ridiculous. I doubt any of the tippers are happy about it but they feel it is appropriate to reward hard working, low paid people who are providing an enjoyable service for them. I’d rather have more cash in my pocket, just like everyone else but it would be selfish not to tip imo

I would have thought if you can affird to go to usa for world cup, you can afford to tip

Since when are staff in a Michelin starred restaurant on low pay? The full cost should be the advertised cost. This is the case in Switzerland!

I would not want a seat at that table. Put on your big girl pants and pay the tip

Which I don't agree with. The chef is rightly paid much more than the serving staff. And if a particular member of waiting staff has been really good. they should get my tip, not have to share it with the eye-rollers.

But as I said above, I find the whole thing smacks of middle class people looking down on those who they perceive to be lesser than them.

Accept the point about English football fans behaving badly and leaving a big mess for the staff to pick up and so should tip. So maybe the yummy mummies with the messy toddlers should leave generous tips in the UK too.

Tips and service charges are not subject to VAT and NI. Therefore it is the most efficient way of passing revenue to staff. If restaurants just rolled these costs into menu prices they would have to add much more than the 12.5% service charge. So customers would end up paying more and the government would get the difference

Maybe that's why they can't afford to tip because all the money has gone on the ludicrous ticket prices.

Why the dark?

Our local Michelin starred restaurant pays waiters min wage plus a share of tips

In the USA, tipping is expected. If football fans haven't done their research on their destination location, that's on them.

In most chain restaurants upwards in the UK, an additional service charge is expected. It says so on the menu. If you don't approve etc, don't eat there.

Or you can ask for the additional service charge to be removed.