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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tipping waiting staff..

233 replies

JacknDiane · 26/06/2026 21:16

Ive just read an article about football fans visiting the US and being frustrated at how expensive the tipping culture is over there. Its because US waiting staff are paid so little, the tips are meant to boost their wages. But visitors are saying the staff should be properly paid and its on businesses to ensure staff are properly paid, not on the customer to be expected to make up the wages shortfall. I think football fans from around the world are feeling the pinch in the US as they are getting ripped off anyway.

BUT its made me think. We dont eat out much here in the UK, its frankly expensive and not always great. But whenever we do eat out, I notice a service charge is always added automatically to the bill. And frankly it makes the bill quite a bit higher. Id love a cocktail with my dinner or lunch but I very very rarely have one, as they can be £8-£9 each. So I have either water or a soft drink. But then the bill comes and the tip is often £8-£9. That's the cocktail I usually deny myself. And it sort of pisses me off. I earn 25p over minimum wage. Dh isn't on much more. And im guessing the hospitality staff are on similar to me. Im in retail and I give customers good service . But I dont get tips and of course I dont expect tips. Yet waiting staff here get minimum wage and we still tip them 10% of the bill. So they'll be earning a whole lot more than me. Yet I feel mean if I dont tip.

What's the answer? Please bare in mind my earnings and how infrequently we eat out. Its a treat, and drinks are usually water or coke to keep costs down. Having a coffee at the end and sharing a dessert is a treat too.
Then the bill comes and im expected to tip someone better paid than me. The tip is always on the bill, gone are the days the tip feels optional.
And I know this isn't the waiting staff's fault. I know they dont make the rules and i know the tips are pooled between all staff working.
But it just feels too much when our budget is stretched to the limit. I also know ive tipped and the staff/ meal frankly weren't all that great. But I feel pressure when its on the bill.

Am I the only low waged person to feel like this?

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 05/07/2026 10:25

When you tip a worker you’re basically treating them like a charity case.

Flamingojune · 05/07/2026 10:48

Berlinlover · 05/07/2026 10:25

When you tip a worker you’re basically treating them like a charity case.

When you don't tip workers you're basically a tight arse

HelpSendMoreMuesli · 05/07/2026 11:09

Flamingojune · 05/07/2026 10:48

When you don't tip workers you're basically a tight arse

Exactly.

Womanofcustard · 05/07/2026 11:12

Discussing this with waiting staff, their opinion is generally - cancel the ‘service charge’ and leave them a cash tip!

Doingtheboxerbeat · 05/07/2026 15:36

Berlinlover · 05/07/2026 10:25

When you tip a worker you’re basically treating them like a charity case.

I had an Uber driver laugh and say keep your money when I tried to tip him . I was quite embarrassed actually despite being a bit pissed. 😳This was the UK and he was Polish, I think, if that makes any difference. It's the only time it's happened.

igelkott2026 · 06/07/2026 16:27

HelpSendMoreMuesli · 01/07/2026 17:53

You could always tip everyone on minimum wage who serves you if you want to live in a fairer society? No, thought not!

We live in the 21st century. Not the 19th where people doffed their cap to rich people for a few crumbs from the plate.

igelkott2026 · 06/07/2026 16:28

Flamingojune · 05/07/2026 10:48

When you don't tip workers you're basically a tight arse

Nah I'm not Lady Upper Class Toff who dispenses favours to the peasants.

igelkott2026 · 06/07/2026 16:29

Berlinlover · 05/07/2026 10:25

When you tip a worker you’re basically treating them like a charity case.

Agreed.

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