Tipping waiting staff..

[JacknDiane]

Ive just read an article about football fans visiting the US and being frustrated at how expensive the tipping culture is over there. Its because US waiting staff are paid so little, the tips are meant to boost their wages. But visitors are saying the staff should be properly paid and its on businesses to ensure staff are properly paid, not on the customer to be expected to make up the wages shortfall. I think football fans from around the world are feeling the pinch in the US as they are getting ripped off anyway.

BUT its made me think. We dont eat out much here in the UK, its frankly expensive and not always great. But whenever we do eat out, I notice a service charge is always added automatically to the bill. And frankly it makes the bill quite a bit higher. Id love a cocktail with my dinner or lunch but I very very rarely have one, as they can be £8-£9 each. So I have either water or a soft drink. But then the bill comes and the tip is often £8-£9. That's the cocktail I usually deny myself. And it sort of pisses me off. I earn 25p over minimum wage. Dh isn't on much more. And im guessing the hospitality staff are on similar to me. Im in retail and I give customers good service . But I dont get tips and of course I dont expect tips. Yet waiting staff here get minimum wage and we still tip them 10% of the bill. So they'll be earning a whole lot more than me. Yet I feel mean if I dont tip.

What's the answer? Please bare in mind my earnings and how infrequently we eat out. Its a treat, and drinks are usually water or coke to keep costs down. Having a coffee at the end and sharing a dessert is a treat too.
Then the bill comes and im expected to tip someone better paid than me. The tip is always on the bill, gone are the days the tip feels optional.
And I know this isn't the waiting staff's fault. I know they dont make the rules and i know the tips are pooled between all staff working.
But it just feels too much when our budget is stretched to the limit. I also know ive tipped and the staff/ meal frankly weren't all that great. But I feel pressure when its on the bill.

Am I the only low waged person to feel like this?

that's pretty much the opposite of what OP is asking though. You save money because you choose to drink water rather than alcohol (and tbh I still don't really get the logic that just because you've saved money in one element of your meal you must immediately spend it, rather than just...saving it) - she would like to have an alcoholic drink but feels like she has to spend it on a tip instead and can't afford both.

I hate tipping culture. People tip because of social norms, they don’t want to be the person who doesn’t. I pay for my meal/haircut whatever, that should include good service as standard. And it shouldn’t fall to me to subsidise poor wages.

Theres probably no logic to it at all...but it works for me. I cant drink alcohol and im.not a lover of soft drinks - love iced water tho. Thats my preferred drink irrespective of cost.

And i guess the staff are happy.

@peachyhead what did you say when they asked why ?! I think if it was me. I would just say because I don’t want to pay it lol

Relying on guilt tripping diners so you can afford to feed your family and keep the lights on is a really bad business strategy IMO, and even worse if you are expecting tourists from other countries who you won't ever see again is even more risky.
I would want to do the right thing but in the end paying an extra $100 a day just for tips alone would piss me off eventually, and like I said it relies on you giving a shit, which many won't 😳.

I don’t mind a service charge or we’ll always tip. We spend a lot of time in the US so we’re used to tipping (generously) just being part of the cost of a meal.

When I was a student, I had a job as a waitress. I know what a bloody awful way it is to earn money, so I think they generally deserve to be tipped.

I think I just awkwardly said something about the service being slow!

Over a care home worker who wipes old people's bums for minimum wage? Lots of people work hard on minimum wage and don't get tips.

I just got back from Hawaii and on every excursion we were given a long speech by the operator about how they rely on tips to survive, they are not mandatory but always appreciated etc etc. It can’t be nice for them to have to ask like that and it’s not nice for customers to be guilt tripped.

I agree, if we have a bottle of wine costing £100 the service is the same as for a £20 bottle.

(Unless, perhaps, it was delivered to tbe table by a monkey in a flaming chariot pulled by a pygmy hippopotamus - I would definitely pay extra for that.)

Exactly, it's the relying on people's good will that's the problem I have.

What annoys me is a jar on the counter in self service cafes. Cheek of them when I’m serving myself. Am I meant to take a tip for myself out of their tip jar? That last bit tongue in cheek.

We went out last night. The staff were great and very helpful. Food was lovely. No service charge added and so we left a tip.
I always tip in cash, want to make sure it goes to the staff and not the business.
I also felt for them working in the heat.
As for the USA I always feel pressure to tip because they ask for a tip!
The prices in the USA can be very expensive so I can see why people are totally against tipping. It can make you feel uncomfortable though.
I think tipping say waiting staff is very different from tipping a plumber or workman, they get a lot more money anyway and change extortionate prices.
I also dislike how some shops have introduced a charity donation on their card reader.
It’s just another hassle.

Dont be cheapskates. If you can afford to eat out then you can afford to tip. We usually tip just over 10% unless the service is below standard.

I tip very generously believe it or not, but I don't have to agree with it 👍.

This is another argument that doesn't stand up to scrutiny - you don't need to be rich to eat out , you just need to be away from your own kitchen. People need to eat regardless.

The answer is to ask them to take it off the bill? You don’t have to pay it.

you can then leave a small amount ^if you want to* or leave without tipping

🙄

My way round it is to ask for it to be taken off 'as I prefer to leave a cash tip'

Then leave £1or £2

I’d also add

the banks take a chunk of the tip

the card machine that asks you if you want to tip - the bank takes their % as the bank charges the company for making card transactions- so it’s been in their interest to increase the total amount on the card reader.

I also will also ask for the 'optional' service charge to be removed. Unless I have been somewhere where I feel it has been exceptional in terms of food or that the service has been amazing (friendly waiting staff, giving recommendations etc) then I don't feel I should give a tip.
Sadly I do think it's expected though and like someone else said, some will ask if everything was ok when I ask for it removed which does make me feel uncomfortable (I don't really want to have to explain myself e.g. it's now out of my budget, I didnt think it was above average, pointing out that it is an optional fee). I also find that some chains particularly the staff generally think they will get it, I have been in a few places where once the staff realise there won't be a tip they start bashing dishes around and reacting like a tantruming child.

You can ask for the service charge to be removed. I never have and wouldn’t do unless the meal and/or service was rubbish.

If there’s no service charge on the bill, I’d usually tip about 15%. I just see it as part of the cost of going out for food.

I love going for a meal and great wait staff enhance the whole experience so I’m happy to tip when I’ve had a good time.

I dont tip, unless its something like a works night out , or large family gathering and there's lots of us , where we are monopolising a member of staff all night , then there would be a whip round around the table. Big tables are difficult , making sure everyone gets served all the same time, the calls for drinks, extra sides etc can be very challenging

Service charge USED to be set for tables over a certain size to cover this , now its on every bill - but there is no need to pay it

Over the years I have worked both sides - waitressing , bar tending and Kitchen ( line cook ) all minimum wage jobs and have never expected a tip.

Tipping should be optional but you feel really bad not tipping (particularly
if your server was very good). When it is added automatically, I always ask if they will actually get it and in what form.
I had one a while ago that said it covered their sick pay (WTAF) so I removed it and paid the waiter cash. The manager want happy at all that Id removed it and came over to tell me so (I told him why I’d removed it but didn’t tell him about the cash tip to the waiter). Little wins! 😊
This week, we went to a Beach cafe where we had to find a table and then queue and order the food and drinks.I got my card out to pay and was asked to follow the instructions which guided me to a variety of percentage tips. I declined and said how could I possibly tip for food and service when I haven’t experienced either. As it happens it was fab so I tipped at the end.
I don’t think tips should be assumed. Far too many pay their staff very little and rely on the tips to top it up so add it anyway.

I ask for the service charge to be removed, and tip in cash for only way above average service. Why should I give the waitress more money just for doing her job? She’s paid at least the NMW and it’s not a particularly difficult job. The establishments rely on people being to embarrassed to tell them to remove the ridiculous charge, but what they should do is build the charge into the stated price. They won’t because that would deter customers. It’s so sneaky.

I worry that not paying an optional service charge reflects poorly on the server. It seems like the sort of thing that might be used as a performance metric. Does anyone know?

My aunt always refuses to pay the service charge and also nearly always sends something back. I wish she would just eat at home 😂