Tipping waiting staff..

[JacknDiane]

Ive just read an article about football fans visiting the US and being frustrated at how expensive the tipping culture is over there. Its because US waiting staff are paid so little, the tips are meant to boost their wages. But visitors are saying the staff should be properly paid and its on businesses to ensure staff are properly paid, not on the customer to be expected to make up the wages shortfall. I think football fans from around the world are feeling the pinch in the US as they are getting ripped off anyway.

BUT its made me think. We dont eat out much here in the UK, its frankly expensive and not always great. But whenever we do eat out, I notice a service charge is always added automatically to the bill. And frankly it makes the bill quite a bit higher. Id love a cocktail with my dinner or lunch but I very very rarely have one, as they can be £8-£9 each. So I have either water or a soft drink. But then the bill comes and the tip is often £8-£9. That's the cocktail I usually deny myself. And it sort of pisses me off. I earn 25p over minimum wage. Dh isn't on much more. And im guessing the hospitality staff are on similar to me. Im in retail and I give customers good service . But I dont get tips and of course I dont expect tips. Yet waiting staff here get minimum wage and we still tip them 10% of the bill. So they'll be earning a whole lot more than me. Yet I feel mean if I dont tip.

What's the answer? Please bare in mind my earnings and how infrequently we eat out. Its a treat, and drinks are usually water or coke to keep costs down. Having a coffee at the end and sharing a dessert is a treat too.
Then the bill comes and im expected to tip someone better paid than me. The tip is always on the bill, gone are the days the tip feels optional.
And I know this isn't the waiting staff's fault. I know they dont make the rules and i know the tips are pooled between all staff working.
But it just feels too much when our budget is stretched to the limit. I also know ive tipped and the staff/ meal frankly weren't all that great. But I feel pressure when its on the bill.

Am I the only low waged person to feel like this?

Just put your big girl pants on, and when the bill comes, politely give it back to the waitress/waiter and ask for the service charge to be taken off.
It gets easier the more times you do it!

I spent 27 years in the hospitality industry, 20 of them in a managerial role. I don’t agree with the system of tipping.
Firstly it is inherently unfair, because two tables getting identical food and service pay different amounts when one tips generously and the other doesn’t.
The introduction of the automatic service charge has improved this slightly, but of course some miserly customers will still ask for it to be removed just because they can. It has also meant that on occasion I get the bill and am unsure if service is included of not, and I have to ask and this can feel awkward. I also always try to tip in cash because I am skeptical of how much the staff actually receive in some cases.
Ultimately I am of the firm belief that decent staff wages should be factored in to the menu prices that all customers pay. It would be fairer to all involved. We can expect a decent service in so many other industries without the need to “bribe” the frontline staff, why should hospitality be any different.

Never come across anyone that doesn’t tip. It would be absolutely mortifying to be with someone that asked for the service e charge to removed. I would think less of them and would certainly never eat out with them again. Cringe.

I agree, it really annoys me when they add it automatically. It should always be an option decided by the customer, we don't have a tipping culture in the UK. People tip only when they feel they've been really looked after or at special occasions like Christmas. Adding tips automatically is the businesses' sneaky way of getting more money out of you than you expected to spend and they rely on British people's reluctance to seem awkward by asking for it to be removed from the bill. Sometimes these tips when given by card aren't even properly shared between staff, as the employer manages the pool of money it brings in.

To be honest I only go to shops with ‘good’ service and avoid busy hectic shops. I 100% make my decision re where to shop based on service quality, eg small local shops with personal service or as you say, high end. Even somewhere like Reiss do very good service though.

Obviously I wouldn’t expect this at M&S and that’s why I shop online with them.

Since we are here, your team certainly do a fabulous job and deserve to get paid well, I’m sure they have excellent expertise and brighten up people’s days. I hope they know that 😊 That’s why I’d rather spend money in a retail shop than in a restaurant, where interaction with waiting staff is often minimal as they’re so overstretched and stressed.

Agree, I don’t understand why people tip a hairdresser. I pay 250+ at a time and that’s where it ends. It’s up to the owner to pay the hair washers a proper wage. I don’t tip my nail tech either. Why? You’re doing the service that I paid for.

I always have it taken off, it's nonsense. I worked as a waitress in the 90s and earned a LOT less than friends working in shops - which is WHY I got tips. Why do I tip a waiter and not a supermarket attendant or my childs TA. Its nonsense.

We had this at a UK chain restaurant where they added a suggested tip to the final bill. The waitress pointed it out and said we could remove it, but the tips help her out as she uses them to buy her food shopping with being on a low wage. I left it on as it felt too awkward to say no I want it taken off.

I'm on minimum wage but I don't get tips in my job and nobody helps me out with my grocery shopping. It left a sour taste at the end of the meal to be honest.

Thats outrageous. Trying to make you feel bad for her.

I used to tip cash for good service. I cannot abide an automatic service charge and always ask for it to be removed. I will tip if the service has been good. But frankly, 9 times out of 10 it’s crap. Especially in chain restaurants. Forgotten drinks, long waits for food, incorrect items arriving. Mostly whilst staff are chatting by the till. Often I’m the one in a group who will say I’m not going to pay if, for example, we had to wait 30 mins for a pudding. The rest of the group are normally relieved that I’ve been brave enough to say it and still eat out with me so I can’t be that cringe.

I'd happily not want to go out and eat with you if you insisted on me paying for a service charge when the service was shit. Mug!

It’s rude and mortifying to ask for the service charge to be taken off. Would totally sour the atmosphere of eating out.

The fact that you have never come across a person who doesn't tip and is so easily mortified by individuality means that you probably live in a bit of a bubble, so we likely wouldn't cross paths, so we're both safe in that regard.

They totally rely on people like you to get away with it.

That’s why things never change!

Wow!
‘Please remove the DISCRETIONARY service charge from my bill’.

‘Why?’
…….that would really piss me off!

To be honest I think that a lot of the time we don’t want to feel embarrassed not too so we just pay it, I think restaurants know this.

But if more of us actually did question the service charge ( if we haven’t had particularly good service ) then we should be able to do so without embarrassment. It’s poor customer service to add it on in my view.
Where there is a big group I can see that all staff work harder to get your order out all at the same time etc ….. but for smaller groups and couples I fail to see how service is related to the amount I am paying.

Why should I subsidise the poor wages paid by fat cat bosses?

Fat cat bosses? Get real. Most of the hospitality sector is struggling to survive. Pubs, cafes and restaurants are shutting down all over the place.

Some may be struggling , not the huge chains, but shouldn’t expect the public to subsidise wages.

I think we pay enough for these very average meals eg sausage and mash £15 approx, and silly prices for drinks. The menus in all these chains are the same and boring,Hunters chicken, scampi etc . Stick to the small cafes, much better value.

I don't like eating out. I don't find the food that much better than what I can produce.

Service - strangely enough when I cook at home I serve things faster and hotter than in a restaurant.

I hate tipping - having spent my working life in low paid but very heavy responsibility jobs I absolutely resent someone in an easier job being paid better through tips. Waitressing is not hard - i've done it. It requires few skills and little knowledge.

The hospitality industry needs shrinking anyway and if they keep charging more and more additional charges for lower quality food in smaller portions it will shrink more than it might like.

Never use the chains anyway as they are pretty low quality. Local gastropubs and cafes are so much better

This is true, but they need to increase prices rather than adding removable service charges, which relies on customers like @JuliettaCaeser (no offence btw) to pay out of politeness and embarrassment.

I know they (in the US) have been getting very het up about this and moaning about people not respecting their culture etc.

But seriously - I am not some upper class Lady Bountiful being condescending (in the old fashioned) sense to my underlings. I thought the US did away with the class system when they threw the Brits out. Ha ha.

Also most states have a minimum wage.

I think if the service had been bad enough to warrant it, the atmosphere would already be soured.

Agreed. Fortunately the last time I had service with an eye roll they didn't put a service charge on and I very much didn't tip (in Prezzo in York although a couple of years ago now).