Tipping waiting staff..

[JacknDiane]

Ive just read an article about football fans visiting the US and being frustrated at how expensive the tipping culture is over there. Its because US waiting staff are paid so little, the tips are meant to boost their wages. But visitors are saying the staff should be properly paid and its on businesses to ensure staff are properly paid, not on the customer to be expected to make up the wages shortfall. I think football fans from around the world are feeling the pinch in the US as they are getting ripped off anyway.

BUT its made me think. We dont eat out much here in the UK, its frankly expensive and not always great. But whenever we do eat out, I notice a service charge is always added automatically to the bill. And frankly it makes the bill quite a bit higher. Id love a cocktail with my dinner or lunch but I very very rarely have one, as they can be £8-£9 each. So I have either water or a soft drink. But then the bill comes and the tip is often £8-£9. That's the cocktail I usually deny myself. And it sort of pisses me off. I earn 25p over minimum wage. Dh isn't on much more. And im guessing the hospitality staff are on similar to me. Im in retail and I give customers good service . But I dont get tips and of course I dont expect tips. Yet waiting staff here get minimum wage and we still tip them 10% of the bill. So they'll be earning a whole lot more than me. Yet I feel mean if I dont tip.

What's the answer? Please bare in mind my earnings and how infrequently we eat out. Its a treat, and drinks are usually water or coke to keep costs down. Having a coffee at the end and sharing a dessert is a treat too.
Then the bill comes and im expected to tip someone better paid than me. The tip is always on the bill, gone are the days the tip feels optional.
And I know this isn't the waiting staff's fault. I know they dont make the rules and i know the tips are pooled between all staff working.
But it just feels too much when our budget is stretched to the limit. I also know ive tipped and the staff/ meal frankly weren't all that great. But I feel pressure when its on the bill.

Am I the only low waged person to feel like this?

Tipping is getting ridiculous. I wouldn’t mind so much if there was excellent service but the majority time is not. They’re being paid a wage and it’s their job to serve etc. Why should One table spending £150 and getting the same service as another table spending £40 tip so much more? I never tip Hairdressers because why should I? I wouldn’t tip the supermarket cashier, the bin men, the person who does my nails or massage, the lawyer, the man processing planning applications…

I’ve stopped tipping now. I cannot abide an automatic add to the bill. I’m a farmer who produces the food they sell. No one tips my staff.

It’s also vanishingly rare to get anywhere near decent service let alone excellent service.

I never pay service charge. Always tip the individual that looked after me. If they want to put the tip in the staff tip jar then that's up to them.

It’s not just tipping these days I find shops are also asking to ‘ round up for charity ‘ . I was in Pets at Home last weekend and was asked to add money for charity . Being as it was the second time I’d had to go in I said no . Between tipping and ‘ charity ‘ it’s all adding up .
I totally get the awkwardness though . There’s a pub near me where the waitress rushes over on signs of you leaving to ingratiate herself with you with the specific hope / reminder of giving her a tip . It feels pressured now not voluntary.

Off topic but I wouldn’t say retail staff spend less time on customers. When I go to a shop, I usually get 30 mins uninterrupted time with someone and they’re very knowledgeable.

Eating out, it’s perhaps a couple of minutes.

If anyone here works in hospitality… Do you then actually get paid your wage and 5-10% turnover on top? As that is what it should work out as… And it could easily double income in some restaurants

For my brief and disastrous bar career, I’d usually get my wage and another 100% on top in tips… but those were different times

If the service is terrible I get the service charge removed
If the service is incredible I tip directly in cash
If the service is average I just pay service and don't tip.

I'm not on much more than min wage now so I don't tip anyone else. Hairdressers, taxi drivers, delivery drivers etc. They are so expensive anyway, and everyone gets a similar wage to me now.

@Duvetdayneeded haha I think there’s another name for ‘tipping’ the man that processes planning applications 😋

Personally I think its bullshit.

As A waitress I served about 6-8 tables usually.
Turnover is about 90min.

On 6 tables with an average bill on £60 (which i actually think is on the low side)

gives £45 in service for 90mins for £30 ph in tips.

Wait staff all make £12-15 ph already....

My cleaner makes £15 ph for a much harder job.

I hate it and I hate its added as standard.

I tend to follow the cultural norms of any country I’m in. The culture here is to tip waiting staff and presumably they take the job on that presumption. So I do tip but I take it off if I have had bad service. I do get irritated at a tip being automatically added though.

I hate the whole tipping culture and the expectation that professional waiting staff should be begging for tips like dogs. I used to tip routinely and if there’s a service charge I’ll probably pay it out of embarrassment but I don’t carry cash anymore so I don’t bother. My DD worked in a very good gastropub last summer. She reckons about 50% of tables tip and 50% don’t.

It’s also worth noting that in most places all tips are divided amongst all the staff including the chef, manager, etc., so that £10 note you discreetly slip your waiter for excellent personalised service goes straight in the communal tip jar.

I am surprised to read that so many here don’t tip. Everyone I know tips, unless there is poor service. Apart from the people we know who have a reputation for being stingy; you can see the physical pain that tipping causes them.

my cleaner is £22, waiting staff earn £13 on average I just think tip if you want, round the bill up.

Often what happens though is I eat out with friends and when they bring the card machine we all pay what we owe - so no tip gets added and we leave cash if they've been good.

Grooming, I had to do a course on it when I worked for a district council at one time. It is bribery and with a regular customer in a restaurant, a server will want them in their section, look after them better than the other customers and then get paid extra for doing this for them

When I go to a shop, I usually get 30 mins uninterrupted time with someone and they’re very knowledgeable.

@ElleintheWoods you get 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with every single retail worker? Or one specific shop? I work for a high end retailer and my team can spend that amount of time with a customer. They are also way above minimum wage.

Agree with this. My DS has a part time waiting job in a busy city centre restaurant with a 12.5% service charge on top of minimum wage. Last month with the service charge added we worked out his hourly rate was over £17 per hour which is just ridiculous.

I understand the emotion and I’m with you on hating the tipping culture, but it’s illogical not to tip someone because someone else in a different job isn’t paid enough.

I worked as a waitress once in a busy upmarket bistro and swore I’d always tip waitresses and waiters from then on. When done well, it is a demanding job that requires hidden skills to make everything run smoothly. I appreciate that not every waiting job is like the one I was doing (badly) but if you imagine having charge of six or seven tables in a cramped room of maybe upwards of 30 tables, each with six covers and people expecting a meal to run smoothly with several courses, several drinks, random requests, pressure from a busy kitchen, it’s no joke. Add split shifts to that, which in my view are exploitation. People can be such arses and in the part of London I was in many were entitled arses. I think people underestimate what it takes to provide a calm seamless meal for people eating in a busy restaurant.

I tip my hairdresser because, again, I lived in London and it was expected, and I just can’t not do it now I’ve moved out. My hairdresser doesn’t expect it, but it’s only a very small amount: just around things up.

i also tip taxi drivers. It’s a hard job and I know that they depend on tips to make the job profitable: one told me that the fare itself is referred to as “dead money“, because just the fare itself won’t pay the way.

It definitely shouldn’t be respected as routine and I support the living wage rather than the minimum wage, though even that isn’t much.

Hats off to people who don’t tip, though.

No. You just have to be hungry and away from home. Eating out isn’t a mega treat unless your version of eating out is up-market restaurants.

But I have to say I think you’re the one that’s a cheapskate: it should be 15%.

In most hospitality settings tips have to be pooled as part of your contract and you can be sacked for not doing it. So your tip to the individual doesn't end up all in their pocket.

I don’t think anyone should be expected to tip, and really don’t agree with “service charges”, but I’ll usually tip 10% as long as the service was good. I’ve worked in hospitality and know the difference that tips can make.

I have stopped tipping anyone from waiting staff to hairdressers because everything is ridiculously expensive already and all these places should pay their staff correctly.

Yes, otherwise the kitchen staff would never get anything and they’re the actual reason you’re there in the first place

Ask for the service charge to be removed. They’re not compulsory and you don’t have to pay, unless it is made clear in advance and the service was acceptable.

It seems im not alone in hating tipping. And I always pay the bill with the tip included, I feel so awkward asking it to be removed. But I remember the days when the bill never came with the service charge included. Why did that change? As I said I work in retail and can sometimes spend at least 30 minutes with the same customer. In a restaurant id expect to spend a few minutes with the waiter taking our order, then another minute or so delivering the food, then a few minutes at the end asking for the bill and paying by card. And im expected to pay an extra £8-£9 for these 10 minute interaction tops. As I said I earn about £13.50 an hour, thats just above minimum wage...probably the same as the server.
Its just not right.

The kitchen staff are getting a wage, just like a barista, care worker, retail assistant etc.

I generally tip anyways so I don't mind if service charge is on the bill especially when out with a big group (I used to work in hospitality). The tips in many cases are also divided up to the bar, waiting staff, the host, chefs, bus boys etc so often people behind the scenes are getting a share. My DH and I did go to an expensive hotel bar recently where the cocktails are £17.50 and they charged 10% service charge on the drinks. I wasn't impressed when a £17.50 cocktail which is ridiculously expensive turned out to be £19.25 😳