AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

OP you’re being the entitled brat here by insisting on wearing a dress that you know your brother and SIL think is inappropriate. Why would you want to cause upset unnecessarily? The dress comes in 20 odd colours, you could easily send this one back and opt for a different one if it’s the style/fit that you particularly love but you’re making excuses saying you don’t have time. Do you really want to turn up to this wedding knowing you’re going to cause friction or are you intentionally looking for a fight? You also said over half the people agreed with you on the other thread but 83% said YABU. Even if you don’t think there’s any issue with the dress, will it make you feel good on the day knowing it could cause upset? Don’t you want to to and relax and enjoy the day and have a nice time without any aggro or stress?

Not really sure why you started a new thread - we all told you on first to not wear the dress. It is too white /cream but more so that the bride isn’t happy with it

fair enough

so why would you want to wear it

you do seem very bitter. Yes you didn’t get married last year but if you had , I’m sure you mum would have paid towards your wedding

The only entitled brat is you. You’re jealous. You clearly hate the fact your brother is marrying before you and you certainly don’t act like someone in their early 40s. I wonder if you’re the golden child and have been enabled by your mother your entire life and now can’t cope with the fact your brother is marrying someone who isn’t pandering to that.

why the hell should you and your mother be part of the food choices? Why should you and her need to speak to suppliers? Thats solely down to the bride and groom, not the entitled in-laws. You both sound as if you can’t cope with the fact you didn’t have a wedding.
It’s not your wedding, it’s not your mothers and it will never be so you both not only need to accept that but also grow the fuck up

I’m also starting to understand why your wedding was called off last year.

I don’t think this is about the dress.

I think you are hacked off with the wedding.

YABU.

This kind of dress will annoy about a half of brides in general and you know this bride is in the part which will be annoyed.

It is a dress white/cream enough that more casual bridw could wear it.

Cancelling your own wedding and wanting to wear something special are bad guides in picking a dress.

If I am brutally honest, this is not a very ptretty dress and it is also 100% synthetic.
Buy red accessories, because green at a wdding was considered inappropriate in the past.

The dress colour and pattern is fine for a wedding op but it’s a tad frumpy, your only early 40s why the hell are you shopping in Hobbs 😬 I’m 42 I’ve two weddings coming up in the next couple of weeks and these are what I’m wearing.

This is absolutely insane. Since when did the bride / groom dictate what wedding guests can wear? Has the heat driven people mad or something? You can wear whatever you like.

It’s a lovely dress by the way. I hope you enjoy the wedding and your SIL develops a sense of proportion.

Why are you going out of your way to be a dick OP?

It’s in the first post of this thread.

I think it's a lovely dress and if you style it like this it perfect

It doesn’t matter how much your mum has paid- it still isn’t her wedding and it’s pretty shitty to attach strings to a gift anyway. But even if your mum paid for it all that doesn’t make you special.

The dress is mostly white with flowers, everyone knows you don’t wear white to a wedding and you are being contrary for the sake of it. Don’t you like your brother and soon to be sister in law enough not to deliberately do something on their wedding day you know will upset them just because you don’t agree with it?

If so, that is very unkind ( to say the least) and no doubt shows. Please just swap it for something else, there are loads of lovely dresses that won’t upset none, why does you need to pick a fight and cast a shadow over their wedding day?

Is she having bridesmaids? If so, do you know what they are wearing?

Why do you want to hurt your brother? Now that you know it's a problem, why would you insist? You are deliberately doing something that you know is causing stress for him, you have made this all about you. It is a selifsh and cruel game to play.

Some people are very funny about this sort of thing. It’s a dress at the end of the day and you aren’t turning up in a full on wedding dress. It’s a floral event dress.

Pair it with bright accessories (aka not white) and you’ll be fine. If people sit and gossip , who cares? I wouldn’t be buying a new dress.

She didn’t ask me not to wear it. Did you read the OP?

Exactly this

Just wear a different dress. It's ugly anyway.

I don’t think it’s a bridal dress at all. It looks fine to wear as a wedding guest. You could wear it with pink shoes / bag / jacket / hat

If you’ve got the receipt and can take it back then do.
just because it’s a nice thing to do, unless you don’t like the bride.

She’s probably overwhelmed and lost sight a bit I’d just give her a break on this occasion.

You said your brother keeps asking you if you’ve found something else to wear and your SIL saw a similar dress and said it was inappropriate? So you are well aware that they would rather you wear a different dress no? Essentially they’ve asked you not to wear it. Isn’t that why you started two threads about this!?

Wear what you like. You’ve paid for it, wear comfy shoes as there’s often a lot of standing around at weddings.

However, the bride has called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day.

Good luck for the day and your interactions with people there. Good luck with your future interactions with your brother and sister in law. Good luck spending time with your potential nieces and/or nephews. Good luck having Christmases together as a family. Good luck with it all basically. 👍

It's gorgeous and if it were my wedding I wouldn't be bothered. But it's her wedding and she is bothered, so choose something else.

I think it was on the invites as OP said her brother sent reminders of the dress code.

YABU. The bride thinks it’s inappropriate and it’s her day, it doesn’t matter what the internet thinks. You can wear exactly what you want on every other day.