AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

For what to wear and how to present yourself at a wedding you need to look at the royal family. The dress op has picked is absolutely perfect for a summer wedding. The colours are bland and will look good in the photos. It's impossible to mistake her for the bride unless you have no idea who the bride is, in which case you probably shouldn't be there.

This is not a 'fairly expensive' dress - it's bog standard really and you could get much nicer that is not 100% polyester for the same.

Yes, it looks suitable for a 70 year old.

Yes, it is too 'white'/cream to wear as a guest to a wedding.

You've posted in AIBU - you overwhelmingly are BU. Why would you wear a dress deliberately that is going to cause an issue?

Wait until you get to the part where she called off her wedding last year and as her mum is paying towards the wedding they are entitled to do what they want 😂

Most people when the bride says please don’t wear that to my wedding say ok. Why don’t you just wear something else? Like is there actually a reason? You only have to be nice to her for one day out of her life. Let her be a bridezilla if she wants? Who really gives a shit.

Oh no. The OP is insistent that it’s actually her mothers wedding because she has made some sort of financial contribution to it 😂

It doesn't matter what any of us think, the B&G have asked that you don't wear it so stop making it about you and pick something else!

Long story short for all new comers

Op hates her SIL

slightly obsessed with her brother & thinks he wilL continue to choose the family over his wife

overly enmeshed with the mother

bitter about her non wedding last year

I agree, I wouldn't have wanted someone with her attitude at my wedding. And I got married in a registry office then went to a pub!

Why does everyone think getting married gives you the right to dictate what others wear? It’s extremely odd.

At my husband’s funeral, where my feelings were much more important than they would have been on a wedding day for obvious reasons I made a polite suggestion as to what DH would have liked to see people wearing but I told guests to please whatever made them most comfortable.

So it’s beyond me why anyone celebrating a happy day where their feelings don’t need to be managed would try and control others.

Well I think it's fine. And it's not on to dish out personal attacks at the OP.

Excellent synopsis.
tell you what OP.. wear the dress, then see you at thread 3 “my brother stopped speaking to me” in a few weeks

Definitely not suitable for a wedding where the bride has already made her feelings known.

Op, you asked what was meant by vulnerable it means are you neuro typical, is there maybe additional needs, to explain you talk about your mother a lot. An awful lot for a woman in her forties, seem over reliant, or overly enmeshed, appear to keep your clothes at her house, and have made very odd comments about how this is your mothers wedding and it’s her celebration of the sons marriage not actually the couples wedding, which says you don’t understand weddings,

i can’t decide if you’re just attention seeking, which is incredibly sad for you if that’s the case, or you beleive what you’ve written.

Made up story 🙄

You. Do. Not. Need. Another. Thread.

Honestly, I think the dress is fine for a summer wedding. But I also think you should accept it if the bride would rather you didn’t wear it to the wedding. Just turn up looking fabulous in it to the next event you’re both at.

Exactly. Kate has never put a foot wrong.

It’s not made up. If you think that why bother replying?

What don't you under about the bride and groom being allowed to state their preference as to whether guests wear mainly white clothes?
It is not your wedding.
It is not your mum's wedding.
Stop being a dick, get another dress. Enjoy the day.

Hmm your brother and his partner should have stated colours or patterns to avoid in their invites if they had strong opinions, I know quite some people who have done that.

Everyone has different opinions about what’s acceptable etc and that’s just life. Mostly we can just hear the opinion and not act on it, but there are some occasions when we do have to take into consideration and I think you know this is one of them.

It’s interesting that you see it as your Mums event because she financially contributed to it. With kindness I think you may need some therapy for these beliefs.

How bloody rude. Says more about you than OP.

TWO threads about what to wear for someone else’s wedding?! Sheesh.

It’s not about you.

I’ve not seen the previous thread and came straight in with no preconceived ideas and I say it’s perfect and go for it, I married my DS and DD last year (not literally but I was the mother of the groom and mother of the bride) and I cannot believe anyone would think this inappropriate.

Saw the picture.
It’s white.
The bride asked you not to wear it.
Just get another dress ffs.
🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Ahhh shit, maybe I should have RTFT, there’s a dress code right? And this doesn’t meet it? I’m out.