AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

The wedding would not exist if she had not used her money. Simple.

Why don’t you send them the link to the dress and ask their opinion?

They haven’t told you not to wear it. You’ve only got this information via third-party.

Go directly to the bride and groom, you never know they may be happy with it.

If that were the case you’d expect the bride to say so

The pink is nice!

The bride is so self centred she doesn’t have any bridesmaids or flower girls.

I wished that the 'laugh' react was still here.

You can't complain that people think it looks 'dated' when you bought yours 'a couple of years ago'.

And I don't think not liking 100% represent '0 class'...

I do know what does show 0 class though...

That was her choice and has got nothing to do with you.

All this superstition about "wearing white" is embarrassing and beyond childish.

Tell them you won't be wearing that dress, because you won't be attending their wedding. Have a pleasant day out on your own somewhere.

My dad paid for our entire wedding. He’d never have dreamt of considering it his wedding, or interfering in any of the decision making, because he’s not a twat.

She won’t engage with any post suggesting this!

her and her mothers hatred of the bride is extreme!!

can’t wait for the Im not allowed to see my niece/nephew posts 😂😂

Ah that’s nice of her, saving your mum some money on their dresses etc.

Did you expect to be bridesmaid or matron of honour? Why would it matter whether she has bridesmaids or not?

Omfg. Why is that self centred? Is this your issue? Did you want to be a bridesmaid?

Mum would not have paid for that.

She could at least have involved the children in the family.

OP, you say that the wedding would not exist if your mother had not contributed a large sum (although you don’t know exactly how much) towards it. This seems a very strange comment. Is it not quite normal for parents to offer funds towards an adult child’s wedding, provided they can afford it of course?
Unless there is a huge backstory that both your brother and his soon-to-be wife are both unemployed and a couple of absolutely grade-A spongers, I’m not sure why you appear to resent it so much.

Why has your mum offered to pay if she hates the bride and would rather they weren’t getting married? I’m imagining her being like Gavin’s mum in Gavin and Stacey, making sure everyone at the wedding knows that she paid for it.

Really? I very much doubt it. The option isn't let's have an expensive wedding or not get married at all. If your mum hadn't chipped in maybe they would have delayed the wedding for a bit to save up or else invited fewer guests. They would ultimately still have gone ahead without your mum's money though.

Its not your wedding. It's not your decision to make.
Its not your mothers wedding. Its not her decision to make.
When you get married you can have all the bridesmaid you like. You can have a whole circus.

So you did want to be a bridesmaid really didn’t you?

I’m sure she will tell people she paid, nothing wrong with that. She’ll be paying to feed everybody there and for drinks!

I entirely missed the first thread but from all of your responses, OP, I assumed you were a whiny kid in her early twenties all stamping her foot like ‘look, it’s all Mummy’s money so SIL shouldn’t be so mean to us 😭😭😭’.

Can’t believe you’re my age. Hopefully your B and SIL come to their senses and elope 😂

The poor cow marrying into this shitty family…

Good manners would dictate that she didn’t go round telling people she paid, but I assume she’s not worried about that?

You talk about class, and then suggest your mother should tell the guests she paid for the food and drink. No classy, graceless.