AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

Cba to read the full thread but there’s so many of these threads, just don’t buy white or nearly white unless you know for sure that the bride won’t be bothered.
I wore white to a wedding many years ago, I didn’t know it wasn’t the done thing and nobody seemed bothered by it but I wouldn’t do it now, there’s a billion colours and styles , why choose something that might cause friction?
i personally wouldn’t care but if the bride does your dress does appear quite lowkey bridal

Love... it's almost idential to the dress I wore for my wedding.

The bride has vetoed it. It would be churlish to not at least give her some consideration at her own wedding.

Why won’t you buy the pink version? It’s so pretty.

Good to see a photo of said dress that’s caused so much uproar. IMHO I think it’s a perfect, classy dress for a summer wedding guest and in no way would confuse any onlookers from the bride to be and a family guest. Hysteria over I hope and just go and enjoy. I think contributors were just confused as you didn’t post the dress x

If the bride and groom don't want you to wear it, you shouldn't. Basic manners.
None of the other stuff about cancelled weddings and who paid for what, is relevant.

So you started a whole new thread to argue with the people who said you were being unreasonable?

Tl;dr OP’s brother’s fiancee saw a dress similar to OPs and said she didn’t want anyone to wear a dress like this to her wedding. OP argued a lot about how the bride hasn’t ACTUALLY seen her dress, only one that is similar. OP hasn’t had a direct conversation with the bride or shown her the dress. OP has also complained that her mother is paying for a lot of the wedding and therefore should have had more say in the decision making as technically “it’s her day too”.

Here because I really am hoping the bride sees this and pulls out before she ends up married into this nightmare family!

It depends on accessories imo

Thanks, I agree! And so does my DM. She helped me pick this dress out and thinks it’s ridiculous that the bride is trying to tell people what to wear

Can I just say had you of done this at the very beginning you wouldn’t of had to make another thread 😂😂

Far too white. The general rule is if you have to ask, don’t wear it. In your case, you’ve been told by the bride and the majority of the internet not to wear it, so just wear literally anything else???

Because the moron wants to upset the bride and her brother clearly. She’s trying to make everyone see it her view and we won’t

I’m a bit tempted to ask you to wear a veil 😂

The dress is absolutely fine for a wedding. Not at all like a wedding dress. If you’re wearing white/cream and it looks like a wedding dress it’s a problem. If it’s covered in florals - not a problem.
What is a problem is the way you refer to you sister in law. You described her dress as OTT traditional. Why add an underhand OTT to the description? Why on earth would your mum be in anyway involved in food decisions to speaking to supplies as you said you both expect. She gifted money, a gift should be unconditional.
So the dress is fine, your attitude is mean spirited.

Nope too white. I felt compelled to ask on MN about a long pale pink and blue accents dress I was wearing in case it was too much … I was cleared by then MN massive

bettyboo9
Good to see a photo of said dress that’s caused so much uproar. IMHO I think it’s a perfect, classy dress for a summer wedding guest and in no way would confuse any onlookers from the bride to be and a family guest. Hysteria over I hope and just go and enjoy. I think contributors were just confused as you didn’t post the dress x

The bride saw similar and thought it inappropriate so I don’t know that your decision decides it. Op you’re creating drama where there is none-a bride can say oh I don’t know that I’d like that on our day!

And actually my friend has worn very similar AS a wedding dress!!!

Why don't you like your future SIL?

Ah, thread two. Almost like you're attention seeking.

If there's a pink version just get that or wear the white one with shocking pink jacket over.

Just come off the thread sister of the groom. It’s all got out of hand and started to be insulting. Just go, celebrate, enjoy being a guest. You haven’t done anything wrong

YABU. My vote hasn't changed since seeing the dress. The other color is far prettier and more suitable, imo.

And not everyone likes or suits pink 🤷‍♀️

It is her wedding!! Don’t wear white or anything she thinks is too white you have to respect the bride if you were behaving this badly at my wedding you’d be off the guest list

Luckily there are loads of colours to choose from in that dress!

Wear the dress, you bought it specifically for the wedding. I'll bet if the bride had not seen the dress at your mother's house, on the day she wouldn't even notice.

If you KNOW the bride considers this kind of dress too bridal, then you'd be very unreasonable to wear it. It is that simple.

I don't know why it's a big deal to just wear another dress. I didn't read the first thread, there are clearly a lot of issues going on here.