AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Post a picture of the dress so we can be honest with you.

Just wear something else and have an easy life!

Why would she need balls to tell you, are you scary/mean?
Anyways it doesn't make a difference, you know the couple getting married aren't comfortable with the dress, so wear something else.
The comment about your wedding being called off, and your reluctance to post a photo, makes it seem like it almost certainly is too white.

Personally if the bride was policing your wearing a floral dress to the wedding I would consider her a bridezilla and refuse to go. But I'm old and old-fashioned and keep my narcissistic relatives on low to no contact.

YANBU. I can't get my head around why someone (the bride) would get so wound up about this. HOWEVER, I would wear something different to keep the peace whilst also acknowledging to myself that she's a nutter hahahha

I think people have got more tolerant of this sort of demand since fashion got cheaper. I remember my mum and her friends having one good dress and hat for such occasions. Obviously wouldn't be white - they needed the wear out of it.

It's a fairly strong convention now, so I don't think it's entirely unreasonable of the bride to ask. I would need a different kind of problem before I'd make a stand at a loved one's wedding. If there's a financial problem, perhaps the brother or mother could help, but I would choose to behave agreeably to the couple on their big day if at all possible.

You won’t post a picture so we have to assume that the dress is inappropriate. Do you want to be forever known as the bitch who spoiled the brides day. ?

She might be more bothered you're calling her a girlfriend, not fiancée? Most people couldn't care less what guests wear, but if it bothers her, just wear anything else.
As for the fact floral on white used to be more accepted, that's true, but it seems there used to be mainly plain white/ivory gowns at most weddings, yet it's common now for brides to wear floral dresses, so white with different colours.

picture

No idea why your wedding being called off is relevant nor why you wont post a picture

Yeah, we need to see a picture OP

This is not just about the wedding day. It's about your relationship with your brother and SIL for years to come. If you choose to ignore their wishes here then you can expect to have a very formal, stilted relationship and there is the potential that family events will be awkward for everyone. Why would you want to do that?

Plus if it is too white then on the day many other guests will think less of you, especially if the bride tells people you were asked to get something else but chose not to. Again, why would you want that situation? Do you like drama??

It doesn't matter if the bride passed the message via her mum or a carrier pigeon – your dress is clearly more white than patterned and she and your DB think it's inappropriate. The only way you can prove to us that it isn't is by sharing a link to it.

Wear black instead.

I wore a floral dress with a white background in the late 80s, several times. Nobody thought it inappropriate and I certainly didn't look like a bride. But then, we had receptions in village halls and function rooms at the co-op, not stately homes.

You don’t like her, do you?

I'm assuming something like this?

Well white is inappropriate if not the bride

just show us the dress and the mn views will say if it’s you or bridzilla @princesspicker

She hasn’t seen the dress! She told my mum and my mum told me that she had said it would be inappropriate to wear white. But it’s true that my brother has asked about if I’ve found a dress, probably because she is asking because she is nosy, but neither of them have seen my outfit

I think @BaronessEllarawrosaurus nailed it. That’s the dress.

Are you planning on wearing your wedding dress, as you didn’t get to wear it at your own wedding?

Tell your BD and his gf that you are not the slightest bit worried about what people will say about you behind your back and wear the dress!

Honestly, what a fuss about nothing. I wore cream at my wedding, what colour dress did my MIL wear, you guessed it - cream, with no other colour on it. Did I care - not a bit. (She made my dress btw so knew what colour it was).

I could perhaps understand if OP was going to wear a totally white dress, but this is ridiculous. How childish all this nonsense is.

But you shouldn’t need your mum to tell you that it is inappropriate to wear white to a wedding.
Do you really think that it’s ok?

The replies here are interesting because they are clearly influenced by personal experience of bridezilla or drama guest

we either have a bridezilla who doesn’t want to see a speck of white anywhere in the day and is creating drama with OP

or we have a sil to be who has a history of attention seeking who has decided to upstage the bride so she finally gets her day in the limelight

I was just wondering that!

But if the bride hasn't seen it, how does she know to call it white?