AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

My brother's girlfriend came to my wedding in head to toe black with a black hat.
I didn't much like her outfit, although it was smart, but I wouldn't have dreamed of a) asking what she was going to be wearing in advance or b) saying anything about it on the day or afterwards.

People are so OTT about weddings now. A colleague of mine is off to a family wedding abroad tomorrow which has cost something ridiculous like £60k. They aren't rich either.
And she had a strict dress code for pretty much every day because there is some kid of wedding event every day for four days, not just the wedding. 🙄

😂😂😂😂

Similar?

YANBU. I think your brother and his bride are being unreasonable. However, you're unlikely to enjoy the wedding knowing that they think badly of it, so buy another dress but do it for YOU, not them. However, you shouldn't have to pay the full cost of another dress, so ask them for a contribution. I find their attitude strangely selfish. When I got married, a great many yrs ago, I got no say in what my bridesmaid wore. She got her choice, although I paid, and the other, younger bridesmaid had to have the same. As for what the guests wore, I neither noticed nor cared.

It’s in three weeks time. You have plenty of time to find another dress. Why cause drama unnecessarily.

Picture needed

What does your wedding being cancelled have you to do with their special day? How odd.
Also, if she's asked you not to wear it and given her reason, you'd be really selfish to wear it. Do you not like them and want to ruin your relationship?

I think you're joking? You would be highly unreasonable to wear something both the bride and groom have asked you not to wear.

You're creating drama. Have a think about your motives behind that.

I can't imagine my SIL being the slightest bit interested in checking out my dress. I'd your DB is that bothered, he needs to stump up for something else.

What's the relevance of you calling off your wedding last year? Is this why you're digging your heels in re. the frock, because you're a bit resentful of their happiness?

The fact you've called the bride your brother's girlfriend says it all, you clearly don't like her.

Right or wrong, they've told you how they feel about the dress. If you wear it, you know you're causing upset. By wearing that dress you're making your feelings clear so be prepared to blow up your relationship with your brother.

Full disclosure, didn’t want to share this as it is outing but since people are screaming reverse I should clarify: his gif ~the bride~ didn’t have the balls to tell me in person she told my mum that white at the wedding would be inappropriate. Then mum told me.

why would you dig your heels on and make them unhappy on their wedding day? Return the dress and buy anon white dress

I think this might be a reverse. OP is getting married, and her fiancé’s sister has bought a dress she thinks is too white. That’s why she can’t post a photo of it, because she doesn’t actually have the dress herself.

I don’t know if the opinions here are reflected in the wider world, but if so then I agree. I wore a similar dress years ago - it honestly wouldn’t have occurred to me to think of it as white, because it wasn’t. It was a large floral print in red and pink with a small amount of white background. I honestly can’t see that being an issue even now at most weddings, but maybe it would be. I wouldn’t wear full white - I don’t think it matters myself, but it may matter to the couple. I don’t understand it really, with the exception of turning up in a wedding gown or something very like that.

How long ago was that? I remember my mum and her friends/sisters discussing what they were wearing to different weddings when I was a young child.

This

Is the dress white?

Doesn’t change the situation you are stjll wrong change the dress or don’t attend if you cant respect the bride and groom on their day. I’m starting to think you want to be centre of attention and get everyone talking about you.

Is it this?

Sounds a bit goady this thread esp the ever so casual 'I will wear what I want since my wedding was called off bit 👀'

are you going to post a picture?

for all we know you have form for diva behaviour and that’s why the bride asked to see the dress. You do seem to be enjoying the drama

Where something else, don’t be that person?

I went to a wedding and one of the guests was wearing a white flowing dress. Even if yours isn’t quite that, do you want to be the entertainment for the day? This woman certainly was.