To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

Dump. My DH of 25 years wouldn’t even try and crack a “joke” like that. What a horrible little man your date sounds.

I was fully expecting to 🙄🙄🙄🙄 & tell you not be to do daft.

But I'm not. 4 dates & he thinks this banter/acceptable??

Yuck. I'd have cancelled immediately.

I wouldn't even dignify that with a response. except for I won't be seeing you again. Blocked.
Please tell us you haven't slept with this knobend.

If my DP of 21 years said it, I'd laugh and agree. But I did have to tell him his balls smelt like a dead rat yesterday.

But from someone I barely know, very early on - fuck no, get rid, he doesn't know you NEARLY that well to be talking like that.

How have your interactions been so far, crude humour, edgy, playing devil's advocate?? Or was this joke just completely out of the blue?? If its the latter, not so good, the former, has he misjudged where the 'line' is?

Gross . Get rid

Yeah I wouldn’t overlook that. Let him know exactly why dating is over, then you can both move forwards with separate plans.

I would have had to reschedule, maybe this time push it back to never.

if its a one off comment then in context of no humans being perfect then otherwise where do you draw the line, eg the next boy friend makes a comment or similar do you dump that one then next etc yes its grim and it depends on context but unless your a robot then no one is perfect, @Datingwoee

I think it's fine to say that you'd prefer to postpone your date because on reflection you don't think that you share a similar sense of humour... and then see what he comes back with. If it's: "Oh my god, get a grip!" then your postponement can turn into a permanent cancellation. If it's: "I'm really sorry, I don't know why I said that, I knew when I sent it that it wasn't funny. Maybe the heat is getting to me a bit. I apologise." then you might want to reconsider. I think we're all allowed to say dumb stuff in the early stages of dating when we're nervous - it wasn't horribly offensive, but it was gross. Has he met your dog yet?

Vile and misogynistic. In MN speak, he is showing you who he really is. Dump.

Vile, 5 dates in and he's shown you his true self, crude and nasty.

It's not funny, it's misogynistic and trashy.

It’s like a line straight from Jane Austen 🙄 in the bin he goes.

From my husband yes it would be funny I wouldn’t think anything of it. From a man I’d seen a handful of times no it’s not funny.

It depends on you. I would cancel as I hate stuff like this and would give mr a clue that we wouldn’t be compatible. I have friends, however, who I know would find this hilarious.

This is a good idea

Yuck.

Definitely cancel. What a vile man with vile attitudes.

I mean, it is funny but I wouldn’t want to go on another date with him. Too crude, too soon

I suppose it depends on how you usually speak to each other and if you've been intimate at all.

If this is your usual banter then it doesn't seem bad, but if you barely know the man and have just been for a drink/meal/walk with him then it's a bit much 😂

I’d dump for “lol” alone.

Idiot.

Reply with a link to this thread. We’ll all wave.
stupid man.

The thing is, you have to think of the type of man that says this sort of thing. They're not very bright and not educated.

In the years I've known my partner he would never ever say that sort of thing. I also can't think of a male friend who would say that.

Assuming it's given you a major ick I would take it as a sign you're not compatible and not waste any more time with him,which is actually the kindest thing for him as well as you.

Given that a couple of women said they found it funny, but just not on 5th date, there's obviously a woman out there somewhere who doesn't mind this kind of humour.

It sounds exactly like a remark that my ex would make. He thought anything regarding women's bodies and their functions was absolutely hysterical. Basically he had the sense of humour of a thirteen year old boy. At first I put it down to nerves, then to just misjudging tone. It took me longer than I will admit to realise that, no, he really thought like a teenager at the age of fifty.

My major ick is he used the word growler. It says everything about the kind of man he is. And the fact he said it to you. And it wouldn’t be the type I would get involved with.