AIBU to feel hurt by my husband's list of faults?

[Timeforachange2026]

Dh and i have been on the rocks for a while. Had come to heads with a massive argument today and he decided to list all my faults during an argument. Below is the list

Don't pay him enough attention.
Don't mase him feel special enough
Am too soft with the kids
Am too boring. Don't have a social life (came up when he called me an awful wife, said I coukd be worse and be out drinking every night etc and he said ooh imagine if you had a social life)
Work too much (both work full time)
Put the kids before him
Put work before him
Don't do enough around the house (I do the washing, load/unload the dishwasher, do all school drop offs and majority of pick ups bar a few odd days. Also all household admin, bills, appointments etc.)
Never listen...this came from an argument where he was shouting upstairs to our eldest...I wasn't listening as it was a conversation between them and didn't hear my name mentioned...and he got thr hump that I didn't answer

In regards to making him feel special or pay enough attention, not sure what else he expects. We work full time, have two young children and various school activities. He finishes work earlier than me and moans i don't finish work at the time on my WFH days to spend time with him (i'm contracted to 5pm??)

Oh and I don't cook dinner enough.

If someone gave this as a lift of flaws...how would you feel

Give a list of everything wrong with him then tell him the one that is right is that he is going to be an ex husband.

Have you ever considered changing careers?

This sounds very familiar to me and I'd put money on him wanting more sex. But he's a selfish twat and why would you want to have (more?) sex with a twat?

I'd say let's make a list of your flaws, and nearly all of them would be a reflection of ehat he wrote. It gives me major ick when some dad's expect to come before THEIR CHILDREN. Wtf.

She's probably raking it in telling men that their marital problems are their wives' fault.

He's basically listed everything but sex life. Is this in fact a whinge that you don't cater to his needs but he's too much of a neanderthal to have a proper chat about it. He's having a spiteful dig because his feelings are hurt and he can't articulate himself.

Ask him what exactly is 'special' about him. Being an arse dosen't count as special.

Yes girl get that bread. Making the world a better place, one day (of enabling abusers) at a time.

Are you for real?

This is a grown man who writes a list like he’s a disgruntled 12 year old school boy and most of it is self indulgent. God, yes he’s needy. Why does this need to be indulged and given merit?

As a marriage ‘therapist’ I would imagine you’d be better employed getting him to grow the fuck up and meet her in the real world where the grown ups live. Rather than putting the blame on an abused, defeated and exhausted young mother for not making him “feel special”.

Marriage therapist ffs 🙄

Men like the OP's husband make my skin crawl.

They whittle you down until you become a shell of yourself. Parasitic.

I would divorce any man who treated me like this.

This sounds like a version of the script. He’s had his head turned.

The not paying him attention making him feel special is really him saying - not enough sex

hurt? I'd be INCANDESCENT

He's an overgrown man-child.

Give him a list of his faults, top of list, giant chauvinistic twat.

Your husband sounds like a thick twat…
but as an aside - why do you not have a social life ?

i used to be with someone who had no social
life and tbh it was very boring . You
might feel better in yourself if life included
more than just work and kids . Get a babysitter !

@Timeforachange2026 you asked “If someone gave this as a lift of flaws...how would you feel”

But surely the more pertinent question is “after hearing that how do YOU feel?”

LTB

So does he make you feel special when he calls you “thick and stupid”? What tf are these blokes on - I honestly despair

Know where this expectation from men for unconditional love from their spouse comes from
I have never expected it. I hoped for it from my parents but I think they really are the only candidates in that category.
Has nobody ever sat down and spelt it out to these men

He wants to grow the fuck up .

He is sucking the joy out of your life. You deserve better and he deserves what that brings…

Who actually cleans the house and cooks? Who does homework supervision and supermarket shop/order? If he is cooking dinner nearly every night, vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms and kitchens I would understand him feeling sad if there was also very little intimacy of any kind or shared experiences.

However. If he is like this regularly you should leave him because this is a horrible way to speak to your partner.

Tell him to F off and find a better wife then

Do you think this is ok @Timeforachange2026? What do you think? Do you actually like him? He sounds absolutely vile.