AIBU to feel annoyed about my daughter's dads wife for Father's Day ?

[annwinters]

I’m so pissed off at my kids dad’s wife! I have found out today from my little girl who’s only 6, that her dad’s wife has taken her shopping this week to buy her dad a Father’s Day gift. I was going to take her today to do it but she told me that his wife had taken her this week. I called her dad and he told me that yeah she had taken her and it’s no big deal.

I am so angry. Before anyone says anything I’m not jealous - me and him were never in a proper relationship and we’re both married to people.

I’ve done Father’s Day gifts always but he’s never bothered. I got a snotty text last year telling me that he didn’t want me to get him presents from our daughter as it “blurs boundaries” (obviously instigated by his wife!!!)

So basically I’m pushed out and can’t do anything for my daughter to acknowledge her dad?

Aibu to tell him to tell his wife to back off and stop pretending there this happy little family? She only needs to get gifts from her kid to her husband and leave us alone

This is surely a reverse or something, it’s too odd? Claiming not to be jealous and then immediately demonstrating jealousy, being asked not to send gifts but ignoring the request, it certainly doesn’t put the OP in a good light if taken at face value.

I agree with the comments to get your dh something, presuming he is a father figure. Doesn’t he organise your Mother’s Day gifts?

This.

YABU. He literally told you he didn't want you to buy him gifts on behalf of his daughter. It's not your place to decide how that decision came about or ignore what he said. You simply respect his very clear boundary.

They are a happy family. Your daughter is very much part of their family until in the same way she is part of yours.

His wife is doing the right thing helping your DD to get a card/gift for her dad.

Your husband should be helping your DD to get them for you.

I got them for my DC until my ex established a serious relationship and then checked with her if she wanted to take that and other gift arranging on which she did. I am not in a relationship with anyone else so my mum helps my DC with this stuff.

I actually think in general it's a lovely thing. I am a step-parent and my DH always ensures he takes his son to get a gift and card for his mum on various occasions. But if she ever asked for it to stop, of course he would respect those boundaries. In this instance the child's father made a simple request that the OP stops and instead she still tries to continue and blasts him on the Internet.

got a snotty text last year telling me that he didn’t want me to get him presents from our daughter as it “blurs boundaries” (obviously instigated by his wife!!!)
How do you know it was instigated by his wife? The present is from child to father. It doesn't matter who takes the child out to do it. His present from his DD is nothing really to do with you especially as he has already told you he doesn't want you to do it. This also sounds like a big deal for something so minor unless you really have blurred boundaries in some way/gone way over the top/were an affair partner?

Who actually cares ? Chill out . You could get him a token gift if you really want something from your side but it doesn’t sound like that would be appropriate given the relationship you have with him at this stage. You sound super controlling to be honest

You are utterly unreasonable. Father’s Day is nothing to do with you and you should keep out of it. It’s more appropriate for her stepmum to do it.

This is a ludicrous thing to even think much less write down. YABU. Incredibly.

They are a happy little family, be gratefull about that!

You’re both married to other people, he doesn’t get your cards/presents and he’s told you not to get his. So stop.

I do wonder though what you would say if his wife suddenly stopped doing it and told you to sort it out from now on. I think you’d be annoyed but I might be wrong.

edit: spelling error

Is this woman kind to your daughter? Does she treat her well.

I think it is a lovely thing for her to do. She knows what he will like, she is paying and it is nice.

Why on earth would you want to buy presents for your ex?

I assume your ex doesn't help her buy Mother's Day presents and birthday presents for you?

I doubt this is real. Yet another of the drop and run rage bait posts that litter MN these days.

This shouldn’t even make your Giveashitometer blip. You may need a new one OP.

Sounds like one less chore and expense to go to for someone I was never that bothered about in the first place to me. I'd take it as a win.

It’s about your daughter, not you.
She got to choose something for her dad. It happened to be with her stepmother.

You are being selfish. Father's Day isn't about you. It's not even about your ex whilst your daughter is small. It's about a little girl feeling proud when she hands over a gift to her dad.

Obviously we don't know his wife's motives. She could be acting out of some weird jealousy over not wanting you to help choose the gift, or she could have been trying to do something nice for her stepdaughter. It doesn't really matter as long as your daughter is happy.

You sound unhinged hahaha. Im pleased my ex's partner sorts fathers day. Nice thing to do and saves me the expense.

Not for the ex. For the children to have something to give. My ex refused to help our kids do that, not his business. But I had no family or partner to help and whilst unable to go shopping themselves when little, they were always upset at not having anything for me. I always took them for something for dad. Believe me when I say their relationship with him as adults is strained - this, and lots of other shite, was always about upsetting me. There’s absolutely bigger picture to be had in these situations.

He’s not your husband anymore??!!! Yes going by the nearly 100% you ARE being the areehole!

From the sounds of it, he was never her husband. She had a ' brief relationship' with him and in 6 years, both of them have met and married other people and he had children with someone else. The timelines and the weird pass agg messages is what scream ' affair' to me, or at least some kind of overlap.

Is this a reverse?