AIBU to feel annoyed about my daughter's dads wife for Father's Day ?

[annwinters]

I’m so pissed off at my kids dad’s wife! I have found out today from my little girl who’s only 6, that her dad’s wife has taken her shopping this week to buy her dad a Father’s Day gift. I was going to take her today to do it but she told me that his wife had taken her this week. I called her dad and he told me that yeah she had taken her and it’s no big deal.

I am so angry. Before anyone says anything I’m not jealous - me and him were never in a proper relationship and we’re both married to people.

I’ve done Father’s Day gifts always but he’s never bothered. I got a snotty text last year telling me that he didn’t want me to get him presents from our daughter as it “blurs boundaries” (obviously instigated by his wife!!!)

So basically I’m pushed out and can’t do anything for my daughter to acknowledge her dad?

Aibu to tell him to tell his wife to back off and stop pretending there this happy little family? She only needs to get gifts from her kid to her husband and leave us alone

Such strange thinking, rage bating at its finest I suspect. If this post has an ounce of veracity I'll just bet it's, "My daughter," too.

Exactly this!

What happens on Mother's day?
Do you expect DD's dad to take her shopping to get something for you or does your DH organise it?
Why does it matter who takes her shopping?

Why are you making this about you? Its between DD and her dad, stay out of it. Making a war with DDs stepmother will only end up hurting DD in the end.

Blimey. If my sister or someone else in my family didnt organise with my kids to get me a present for any event (birthday, xmas etc) I would have received nothing. As my ex was never going to do it. We were exes for a reason.

One less job for you !

You are not jealous but you are controlling.

I would be quietly grateful. Is this really a hill you want to die on?

Why don’t you just get her step dad a little gift unless you don’t see him as a father figured in you DDs life.

You knew not to give a gift from
last year! YABU!

And interesting that you don’t refer to “your daughter dads wife” as your daughters step mother? But you’re not jealous… of course not!

Nah I'm not with you at all. It makes total sense that after him telling you he doesn't want you to buy him presents from DD...that his DP would take her to get him presents. A nice thing for her to do btw. This smacks of you trying to start some drama.

Well you're going to have things like this if you're not together, that's the price of co-parenting.

Yabu it’s more her job than yours, she’s his wife.

I don’t get why you’re angry. Buying a Father’s Day present for an ex is something I’d do grudgingly and then be glad to pass on to his new wife.

Edit: even odder when you weren’t in a relationship with him, so his wife definitely knows him and what he’d like better.

Yeah you are jealous. Not of your 'ex' and his wife, but of your daughter having a relationship with her.

Who does mother's day for you? Your daughter father or you husband?

I don’t get it, he’s your ex not your dad. No need to make an effort for him.

I think she did the right thing. They are the family now so it makes sense and it’s lovely she’s acknowledged it. It’s also one less thing to worry about . I have a step child and I’ve always done the Father’s Day for dad with them especially as we have another child now so they can do it together. Step child’s mum has a partner so we leave Mother’s Day to them. It just always worked for us.

Eh? She’s the stepmother and married to the child’s dad. Of course she’s going to be taking her shopping for Father’s Day. I can see that you might do it if he was single, but he’s not. You’re sounding bonkers, OP.

You sound like a nutter. They are a family whether you like it or not

So if they are pretending (according to you) what is the difference rather than actually being one? I know you wont answer of course

Seems like a good arrangement to me, means you don’t need to worry. The fact you want to buy your ex a gift is concerning

Look at this from a different perspective OP……..does your ex take your DD shopping for a Mothers Day gift for you?

That's a lovely thing for her to do . And takes the pressure off you to do it .

This!