Shall I go out on my own tonight

[Jammydodger70]

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

Go OP! Ignore him and have a fab time. You’re absolutely right when you say why should a women be stopped from what she wants to do by a stupid man? Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone, and the vast majority of times it’s worth it. Life is short! Fortune favours the brave! Only regret the things you didn’t do! And various other clichés I could throw at you!!

It is. My initial interpretation was correct.
You’re saying women shouldn’t go out alone as it attracts ‘unsavoury types’. You’re saying women should modify their behaviour because men can’t control their own.

I was referring the OP and the information she had provided.
You are wanting to talk about women going out alone in general.

Why is that any different? You’re telling a women to modify her behaviour due to how a man might behave.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about an individual or woman in general.

Oh OP really.

Why are you posting two different versions of events?

And in the previous one you've already told them you're thinking of coming alone.

I’d go @Jammydodger70 and enjoy dancing, but keep your distance. You were interested until he admitted he was in a relationship; now you’re not interested. Your conscience is clear - he’s the one who blurred the lines.

Go. Maybe keep a slight distance from said bloke, just ensuring that you don’t upset everyone on here who thinks you’re after him and to ensure you don’t appear like Del Boys stalker. You know what the environment will be like and that you can settle and enjoy and not waste your money. I’d love to know what kind of music and where it is, I’d like to find a proper 70s disco night. Done Brutus Gold Train but just after a club somewhere … know of one in New York but can’t afford the air fare 😂

Except the OP also had a partner a week ago

lol at the posters who say “why don’t you go somewhere else?” Presumably they’ve never had a good night out clubbing in their lives, and the diffference between a great club and a bad club is completely lost on them.

I agree men get away with this shit all too often and woman end up giving up their favourite clubs/pubs/venues to avoid them. I hope you went and had a great time, and if not I hope you do go back to this place in future since you seem to like it so much.

The OP asked advice specifically to the environment she has set out. I gave my opinion.
I don’t think she should have gone to the club dancing. No. I suspect she would have attracted the man who was already in a relationship. She has already asked him if he will be there and he will. If she goes on her own she will give him a green light that she is up for a bit more of the same.
I could be wrong. She can test it out if she wants to.

As for in general. No i would not encourage a woman to go into a club on their own. And it would attract men who would clock they were and would be attracted to her because of precisely that. Such men exist. To pretend they don’t is just daft.

You can see that women should be able to do things. But it would be pig headed to go about doing things without having an eye to the reality of situations that prevail.

Go and enjoy yourself. Who cares what other people think. Draw clear lines with this man. Go knowing who you are and what you are/not up for. That’s for you to decide but then go out and own it.

Owch you need to re assess your morals - you’re letting a man kiss you who’s in a relationship- shitty behaviour and I judge you

It was obvious from your OP. Lots of posters prefer to project misogynistic stereotypes on women rather than read properly.

You’re way overthinking this, you want to go and you have the means to go - so go! Life is too short to not go out dancing when you want to

You're still asking a woman to modify her behaviour because of how a man might behave or think. It doesn’t matter how you phrase it. That’s what you are saying.

op hasnt been back since posters linked another similar thread by a different poster.

anyway, despite me saying go,
i wouldnt! for 2 reasons, - on your own - and the rejection from the attached man.

Why are you hitting on a bloke that’s in a relationship? Tacky as f!

Why should she stop going to a club night she regularly attends because one of the blokes “doesn’t want her to go”? Are you seriously that weak-willed that you bend to whatever some random bloke wants?

Read it how you wish.

It’s literally what you’re saying. There is no other way to read it.

Even some of us with grandkids would rather go out than sit in with a takeaway

Why are posters (not all obvs!) being such bitches to the OP? If you don't have basic reading comprehension skills then please refrain from posting. And just fuck off generally too.

Op I agree with you fully in theory. You've paid, you like the music, you would enjoy being there, why should you sit in because some idiot bloke behaved like a prick?

I would love to hear that you went along, had a great time and paid no attention to where he was in the place. After all who cares what he or his idiot mates think?

However the real question is how likely is that? Will you be feeling uncomfortable and foolish wondering if they're talking about you?

Think hard and then decide what you genuinely want to do. If you decide against going is there any compromise; something else in the town for you to do instead of sitting in with a book?

Have fun whatever you decide and definitely hold your head up. You have done nothing wrong here.

Interpret it how you wish.

She’s interpreting what you’ve written as you’ve written it. You’re absolutely insufferable.

YOLO! Go out and have fun OP