Shall I go out on my own tonight

[Jammydodger70]

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

You’ve misread this one- she’s calling him a grotty cheater, not you. She says why do you care what he and his mates think, given he’s a grotty cheater.

So go, have some fun, avoid the grotty man! Just be careful at the walking home bit, in case he’s persistent.

Because last month, when they kissed, she asked him.

It's right there in the op!

Jeez op, I don't understand why you are getting such a hard time!

If it was me, I would try and find another reason to be there - something else locally to go to.

But failing that, yes, I would go. And I would do my best to avoid said man, and if he tried to speak to me say that in not interested in unavailable men.

In my op I stated that when I asked f he'd be at the club tonight, AFTER we kissed, his reply was that yes he would be, but he's in a relationship.

Yeah, don’t go op
you’ll look desperate and stalker ish
in fact he’s practically telling you not to go himself

Maybe I have mis-read it; but I read it as sort yourself out, it's grotty & pathetic

Does your friend know that you’re flirting and being intimate with a man who is in a relationship? Is that why she cancelled on you with the sickness excuse?
You kissed him and let him walk you back to your hotel room. How long will it be until you invite him into your hotel room? Sounds sleazy and desperate.
Don’t be a gullible fool. You are a cheap thrill to him that’s all. If you start a relationship with him he will do the same to you one day. He will cheat on you behind your back like he is doing now with his current partner.
Is he worth it?
Is ruining your reputation worth it?
🤮

That is a damn good point

@HighHeelsRedLips you have misunderstood

Erm, where does it say I was flirting & cheating with a man who I knew was in a relationship? If you read my op again, if indeed you have read it at all, you will see that he told me AFTER we had kissed 🙄
And no, my friend has not cancelled on me pretending to be sick. I have been to her house to check on her, so I know she is sick.

He’s basically telling you NOT to go
don’t
itll be embarrassing

Thank you. This is what I feel like deep down. I will feel better about going again, at a later date, when my friend is better. I was looking forward to going out, even on my own. It pisses me off that because of yet again another lying man, I don't feel like I'm able to.

Why has ‘grotty’ become the buzzword of this thread?! 😂

op, I would try and find someone else to go with. I know you’ve said no one else could but just ask around on the off chance. If not, go alone. Have fun and fuck what anyone thinks!

It was obvious.
Go and enjoy yourself dancing, stay away from the bloke. Go back to the hotel and enjoy that when you've had enough of the club or don't feel comfortable in there (the club). You've got nothing to lose really and might have a fabulous night if you go.

OP, I don’t know why so many people on this thread are struggling with reading comprehension. They’re seeing what they want to see, not what you actually wrote.

Go out tonight and enjoy yourself.

You'd only look desperate if you spent the evening mooning over him and trying to get his attention.

How big is the venue?

If you would like to go dancing, go dancing. Who gives a fuck if you are on your own? Live your life own life and be bold and brave. I’ve been to gigs on my own and a club night too. No one cares. Also it’s great that you will have people to chat to when you are there

I don't agree that he's telling you not to go OP. He's basically setting up a no strings shag, in a "you knew what you were getting into" sort of way. Don't go.

Go out, ignore him completely and have a fabulous time. You've done nothing wrong, don't hide away.

The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!

If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them?

And yet of all the places you can go to, you knew where he was going to be and you’re asking if you should still go. More FOOL you. Call the man a dickhead but you’re not much better.

You have done nothing wrong here op, you didn’t know he was in a relationship! I’d go and have a great time. If the cheating turd tries to approach you again say “No thanks, liars make my legs clamp shut. Fuck off”. Even he will understand that. Don’t let one duplicitous twat ruin your evening.

you dont go there for a relationship, you go there to dance
he was a big let down.
just ignore him

Just go. If you're not enjoying yourself, you can always leave and you have lost nothing.

As far as the guy goes, if he's not married, he's fair game. He will assume you're there to see him (and you probably are - the lady doth protest too much, methinks), so I doubt you'll be on your own for long.

The pair of you kissed
you asked if he’d be at the club
he said yes and then confirmed in a relationship

he is telling you in a discrete way…. Do NOT come.

It is a pain because it means you miss out. But hey… missing out on one night in the big scheme of things isn’t the end of the world especially if you avoid drama

why is he telling her not to come?
he is admitting he is not available, that is all.
she goes there to dance, keep telling yourself that op.

Personally I wouldn’t go out on my own, but that’s because I’m super self conscious but if you would feel confident enough to do it then why not? You can always avoid said man, just don’t engage with him.