Shall I go out on my own tonight

[Jammydodger70]

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

Go and enjoy yourself. Just don’t drink. Lowers inhibitions

youre only young once (even if you’re not that young) 😊

If he’d wanted her to come he would not have chosen that moment to say “actually I’m in a relationship” when the op asked if he’d be going to the club!

Of course you can go.

If when he comes sniffing round, you say ‘Come off it Darren, you told me you’re in a relationship so back off’ and carry on dancing with other people.

You don’t have to let his presence stop you having fun. And you can’t look stalkerish if you keep your distance.

he is not the sole reason for her to go - in fact he is one of the reasons she doesnt want to go

Yes it was obvious. Yet another thread where some cannot even read the OP properly.
You go and enjoy yourself. You said others go alone so nothing different for you.
Why care about his friends. He's a sleazeball. Glad you found out what he was like.
Enjoy!!

But what he wants is irrelevant. Op doesn't want him, she just wants to go dancing.

I have done nothing wrong here, so don't go telling me I'm no better. We kissed & I asked him if he'd be there BEFORE I knew he was in a relationship.
As for.all the places I could go to instead of the same club as him - this club plays a particular genre of music all night. I have not found anywhere else in this town that is going to play this music.
I don't.see why I should have to miss out on a good night when I've done nothing wrong.

Jeez there are some extremely bitchy thick people on this post. Sorry you're getting such a hard time OP.
I think as it's somewhere you go regularly and you'll sort-of know other people there, you should still go. Make sure you hold the boundary with the guy you kissed so he knows you're not interested anymore. And hopefully you'll find some other people to dance and have fun with!

It really wasn't.

If you don’t want to see him again, it doesn’t matter what he or his friends think.
Go and dance and have fun but be careful.

this! Sounds like heaven!

Sounds totally boring to me instead of a night out Surely you can do that sort of stuff any time at home

OP I think you should go!

There will be people there that you’re familiar with, and if you don’t enjoy it you can just leave.

Yes but I was pointing out that he clearly doesn’t want the op to go.

if you do decide to go op, he will no doubt avoid you.

but honestly… I just wouldn’t bother tonight

@Jammydodger70
You go girl
Enjoy yourself

You're not a stalker so who gives a damn what others think.

He doesn’t get to decide who goes to a public nightclub. The OP has clarified, numerous times, that she’s not going for him. It will be pretty easy for her to stay out of his way.

Imagine if women just stayed home every time a man didn’t want them in their space! Fuck that.

To be fair op, the way you have written your post reads as if you don’t give a shit he’s in a relationship and you’re happy he’ll be there tonight. That’s how I read it until you said you didn’t know he was in a relationship until after you’d kissed him.

I don’t see why you should miss out just because of a lying man. As the saying goes- shame should swap sides. You have done nothing wrong at all. Go, and have fun, it’s good to extend your comfort zone by doing things alone.

I'm not sure he told her not to come, merely that he was in a relationship. What right would he have to tell her what to do anyway? He's just some random she kissed THEN. found out he wasn't single

Why does he get to decide where she can and can’t go. He probably doesn’t want her there in case his partner finds out he’s a sleazy cheat but why should that be @Jammydodger70concern?

Why? Why would you let whatever he thinks stop you from going out and having a good night??
Avoid him, dance the night away, have fun.
I wouldn't give a crap if he doesn't want you to go. It isn't his club and you don't have to talk to him

I honestly think you're overthinking this. A man isn't stopping you doing anything. You're stopping you doing it

No one is stopping her!! Hell, she can rock up anywhere she darn well likes

bit if you bothered to read the Op… she cares what he thinks

Why can't you go to the club, chat to other people and ignore the man you kissed? If he approaches you just say you're not interested because he's married. And don't let him walk you home. Nobody could despise you for that.