Shall I go out on my own tonight

[Jammydodger70]

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

Yeah - she says that they don't usually do this every month as it's too expensive, but they were out last month and fancied going out again this month.

I couldn’t go out to a bar on my own, let alone a club. What do you do, go onto the dance floor and start dancing alone? It’s like some sort of bad dream to me.

Why has my post calling out a misogynistic comment been deleted? Yet the original comment telling a woman to modify her behaviour because men might not be able to control their actions still stands?

Yeah. Go to the bar and buy a drink. Chat to people and dance if you feel like it.
It’s very liberating!

Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight.

Last month you asked him what his plans were for a month later?

ok so if you last had any contact with him a month ago… he’s probably forgotten about that fact that 4 weeks ago he had a song and confirmed his plan for tonight (a grotty cheater like this like probably be snogging part and parcel of every Saturday night). And 4 weeks later @Jammydodger70 … and zero contact? In your shoes I wouldn’t give a hoot what him and his mates thought of me.

However I still wouldn’t go to the club alone because personally that holds zero appeal to me and secondly there is the possibility of drama and… well, I take the approach that if silly drama like this can be avoided, then I’ll go with that option. Surely there’s other dancing venue in the area?

Go and have fun.

Why ask if you’re being unreasonable to then argue why you’re not to each one that says you are?
oh and just because an indulgent night at home sounds shit to you, doesn’t mean your night out dancing with scumbag cheating men is other people’s ideas of fun :)

I think you should go but avoid the man if he’s in a relationship. If you feel awkward you can just go back to your hotel and chill

Why should she listen to a man who has nothing to do with her? If he’s uncomfortable HE should not go! She’s free to go wherever she bloody well likes!

So now you know he’s a liar (by omission), how has he got anything to do with this night out? You mean, you might go for it? Have some standards.

How would the ‘go and have fun’ folk feel if it was their boyfriend who was snogging random women and making it known he’ll be on a night out?

Yes go. Years ago o was in a similar position re a gig. I went by myself. It was so liberating, realised I never needed to be tied to anyone to do anything. I’ve been having the time of my life ever since. Now I fly to lots of gigs. Know lots of people there, will meet up, sometimes share a room but never tied to anyone, can do just as I please. Go for it and be liberated. A man wouldn’t think twice about it. Anyone having any negative opinion of you being there is not worth worrying about I doubt anyone will notice. Go and Dance lovely!

I’d dump the bloke, the OP going or not going is not going to change the fact he’s willing to cheat

It was a seedy snog a month ago.

Hes probably forgotten about it.

and I’m a bit intrigued that despite being told a month ago that he’d be at the club this specific night you chose to return that specific night rather than… oh I don’t know next Saturday? As you’d surely have been worried about appearing stalkerish even with your friend? But hey… you did.

I think you're completely overthinking the part about going to a club on your own and enjoying some dancing. Just go if you want to. But the part about hooking up with a man already in a relationship and being kissed is ick. Would you like some random girl to hook up with your DP if you had one? I would worry about this man and not about anyone's reactions in a club.

I think you’re trying to convince yourself that you want to go to dance, when actually you’re hoping to meet up with this man and have a night of passion with a conveniently booked hotel room…

I feel like I'm in some sort of parallel universe where people are reading different threads... that or someone has searched other threads or think they know the OP in real life.

It's just bloody WEIRD how people are responding.

She has no interest in this man! She doesn't want to be trapped in the hotel room but she's feeling slightly and humanly insecure about going to the club on your own.

Do you know what OP, I replied earlier saying weigh it all up and consider how you'd feel when you were there but now I'm fucking angry that people think women should accommodate other people's shit behaviour and prejudices.

I really really hope you go and I hope you have an absolute ball.

I’d dump him. But the responsibility for his poor behaviour would be his alone and not the ‘random woman’.

It’s absolutely batshit isn’t it?

It's only batshit if you haven't read the OP's other thread to be fair.

It was linked somewhere on this one but not sure if it's still there.

Perfectly possible if it’s a Northern Soul night, which is my hunch - everyone dances individually and it’s somewhat of a competition, so doesn’t attract people who wouldn’t be comfortable with all eyes on them. The idea is very much to be watched. It’s quite thrilling, sweaty and visceral, and the dancers can be incredibly talented. Worth looking up if you’ve never seen it.

Well I mean if the other thread is her and it does look like it is and that’s why she’s scarpered she’s on here pleading innocence and complaining he’s a liar when she herself is in a relationship and cheating. Or trying to.

What other thread?!

I wonder if the op is getting herself all dressed up as we carry on posting? If so, and the op does have the intention of seeking him out (despite proclamations claiming otherwise), I think she’s about to make a huge fool of herself

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