Shall I go out on my own tonight

[Jammydodger70]

I have a hotel room booked for tonight, so that me & a friend can go to a club night. Unfortunately she has cried off sick & the hotel is already paid for & non refundable.
I'm not worried about the money, but I've got itchy feet & still want to go out dancing! None of my other friends can go at this short notice. Some people do go on their own & just dance & chat. I have never done this & I'm worried about looking/feeling weird & lonely.
The other dilemma is this. I've been chatting/flirting with a man for a while who will be there tonight. Last month he walked me back to the hotel & we had a few kisses. It was lovely so I asked if he'd be there tonight. At which point he said he would be, but he's in a relationship. Just for the record I'm not!
If I go on my own how am I going to look in front of him & his mates? A desperately lonely woman? Or will I look like a stalker to them? When I imagine myself there tonight I keep thinking of the dental receptionist in Only Fools & Horses who kept popping up everywhere after Del Boy broke off their date & got back with Raquel.
This makes me feel that I should not go to the club tonight. I won't look & feel like a stalker then; but why should I be the one to not go because a man has been a complete dick head? Shall I stay in or go on my own & hold my head up high?

I would go. Once you get there you will soon get talking to people. Let the man make the moves on you though. Have fun.

Definitely go dancing, but go to dance. This man is in a relationship even though he’s leading you on - this is not a good man - he’s looking to cheat on his partner and he’d do the same to you given half a chance.

I would not go.

I think it would seem strange to the guy you like that you are going out alone, and I also would question your real motives here.

Is it a need to dance or a need to meet him? If the latter then being there alone does more harm than good

I assume this was all about last night so my advice is too late anyway

This from me, too. I've often been out by myself, always enjoyed it. Be open to talking to people (if you want to) but fgs don't mope around after an attached bloke!

Wear your dancing shoes. Have fun.

Hmmm.

Why are you kissing a man you know is in a relationship? Yes it's on him that he's cheating but it's still pretty icky?

Yes I would go but no I would not tell him.

Go enjoy the hotel treat yourself to nice food and relax I would go out but I am not interested in clubbing

Personally I wouldn’t!

I would run in the deepest hottest bath, order takeaway, buy a film and have an utterly indulgent night

As for the man in a relationship…. Sort yourself out OP. It’s grotty and pathetic

It is nothing to do with wanting to meet the man & start something up. I'm not a home wrecker thank you very much.
When you say you would question my motives, do you mean you personally, or if you were the man?
I love the music they will play tonight & we usually end up just dancing in a circle with people we don't know.
I'll be out of my comfort zone. I'm also cross that because of yet another dick head man it's the woman who doesn't get to do what she wants. Why should I be the one to stop in & waste a hotel room? I have as much right to be there as him.

So why do you care what a grotty cheater and his mates think of you?

how old are you @Jammydodger70 ?

I did not know he was in a relationship until after he'd kissed me. I thought that was obvious from my op.

Age is irrelevant. I go to this club once every couple of months. I do care what people think of me, that's just how I am.
I don't know why you're personally slating me, calling me grotty & pathetic. I'm not the one who's lying to a partner & leading other women on. Where in my post have I implied that I want to go out to see him again?

You have every right to be there and can go if you choose to. The only thing I’d worry about, if it were me, is that I had no one looking out for me. Going with a friend means you have someone to leave with, who will notice if you’re overly drunk or if someone slips something in your drink, or gives you a good reason to pull back if a guy is trying to get you back to his and you don’t feel safe. If you’re confident you can manage those risks, I’d go for it.

Go!!! Have fun! Hold your head high and ignore the cheating man, you’re worth more than that.

I can't think of anything more depressing than staying in a hotel room with a takeaway & a film, whilst people are out & having fun.
I've spent enough times on my own in hotel rooms when working away from home.

Who cares how you look to this man and his mates? It doesn’t sound like they have sound judgement anyway considering the behaviour of the man. Was he worrying what people would think when he was kissing you whilst in a relationship?

Go, don’t give the man a second thought and don’t even look his way, find a group of women to dance with and just have fun! Just be mindful not to drink too much so you keep your wits about you.

Not sure why you are concerned what this man or his mates think.

It sounds like you want to go and would be comfortable alone. Go. Have fun. If you hate it go home early.

Stop messaging the man you know has a partner though. What he is doing has nothing to do with you. Once you knew he had a partner you should have stopped any further contact

The fact that he even crossed your mind made it sound like you cares what he thinks.

If you are going to go, have a good time and the fact this man is going to be there isn't impacting your decision to go, then of course you should go...have a great time and enjoy yourself, as a single person. If this club is something you enjoy, then you shouldn't miss out.

Its just weird that you were considering not going because a man in a relationship, who you say you want nothing more to do with, may think its strange you are there.

He shouldn't be factoring into your thoughts now you know he is in a relationship (other than thinking what a scumbag)

Can’t wait for the update, said man just ended back in the hotel room

Can you show me the part of my posts where I've said I'm messaging him please? Especially the part where I said I'm still messaging him now I know he's in a relationship? We haven't even swapped phone numbers. We have been chatting/flirting face to face in the club, not on the phone.

if you go regularly then you will see people you have seen before, so thats ok
but make sure you can back to the hotel safely

Why would you think that?

oh ok if you spend your life largely alone then sure I get that.

although nightclub alone with grotty man cheater also there who I snogged the other night? I’d pay NOT to go

I agree with that poster and I’d say… spidey senses!!

How do you know he’ll be at the club?

Why do you care what a grotty cheater and his mates think of you?