Utterly sickened by rugby tour/stag DP attended

[Stagupset]

I have name changed for this. DP plays rugby and they have an annual weekender/end of season tour somewhere each season, usually always in the UK. One of the players is getting married so they did a combined tour/stag this year abroad.

I am friendly with a couple of other partners and so have been made aware of some of the details.

They hired someone to be handcuffed to the stag, purely based on his small size. I find this really offensive.

There was really really weird games/dares involving urine that I won’t repeat on here.

Two players, DP included, lost a bet and had to streak in public wearing only a pair of underwear each which was ‘borrowed’ from a hen party out there.

At least two players cheated on their wives.

DP has verified all of the above and said it’s standard fare when rugby players go away together (added that he was unaware of the cheating and wouldn’t approve). I can’t say I was ever aware of this rugby ‘notoriety’ before I met him.

I have told him I disapprove and he thinks I am over reacting and should accept it’s par for the course. Am I over reacting?

Yikes !

I didn't realise they were that big ! 😳

If it causes fear and alarm then it can deemed a criminal offence. I think most decent people going into a pub beer garden and seeing a group of drunk men prancing around naked would be put into a state of fear and alarm and would be pretty shocked

And as stated, the pub could lose its licence.

It's a long time since i've lived in England and I hear that society there has taken a big turn for the worse. But i really didn't think it had gone downhill to the extent people going into a pub beer garden for a drink expect to see a group of drunk naked men cavorting about and this being treated as acceptable behaviour.

I'm going to England for a visit next week and I'm now in a state of fear and alarm as to what I might see. Last time i visited there were countless drunks around and it was pretty unpleasant but at least they were clothed.
..

I don’t know where you are going in the U.K. but I’ve lived here all my life and have yet to see a naked drunk man, or that many drunk people really! 🧐

We had the misfortune to arrive in a Midlands city on the early evening of a warm sunny summer Saturday last year and the city centre streets, and the pubs we tried to get something to eat in, were just full of drunk people. Our hotel was in the city centre and the atmosphere throughout our shortish stay was marred by the drinking. No naked men though. Or none that we saw. We won't be going back there though.

I mean most cities have drunk people if you look hard enough. Just been in Paris and saw a few there.

Standard rugby tour shenanigans (apart from the cheating which is unacceptable). What goes on on tour should stay on tour.

The husband who admits can fit into a slappers tiny thong is doing himself no favours.

Surely he'd claim to need a pair of full briefs to fit his giant appendage in.

Cos he one of the ladz.

You said in your previous post
I don’t know where you are going in the U.K. but I’ve lived here all my life and have yet to see a naked drunk man
or that many drunk people really! 🧐
Which is different from what you are saying here.

We didn't have to look hard. We were walking through the streets with our suitcases trying to avoid them.
We tried 2 pubs that served food and left both of them because of the drunken customers.
We were taken by surprise because we had been to this city a couple of years earlier and not had this experience. We had actually quite liked the place. And it wasn't just the drinking that made us change our view of the place actually.

Have you ever been on a Hen night?

I've seen male strippers, Penis shaped straws, blow up dolls, married women licking the stripper. The OP's situation sounds rather dull in comparison.

How long have you been going out with him - you must have attended some club functions with him during that time and if he's gone on other tours, what did you think happened - they all had a glass of lemonade and were tucked up by 10 p.m. ?

I'm in London and I've never seen a naked man in the street in 53 years. Just to reassure tourists!

The dwarf thing is despicable. I would have nothing to do with any man who goes along with this kind of thing. I don't care for excuses. Being in that group is collusion.

As long as women are brainwashed into parroting this "lads will be lads" or "what goes on tour..." shite, nothing will ever change.

This kind of behaviour is NOT inevitable and people do NOT need to just roll their eyes and put up with it.

And I would tell the wives / partners of those who cheated. If people did this regularly, then the cheating wouldn't happen (or not nearly so much).

How's that ?

Sadly yes I did know about this happens with a lot of sporting clubs. I have a male relative is a young professional rugby player. He almost quit at Uni as he just couldn't handle the insane drinking games, challenges and lots of them are horribly sexualised . I live in a City that used to be known for stags and hens and the behaviour of both genders is vile often in the middle of the day.

You seem to not approve of many things your DP says or does so I’m not sure why you’re so shocked at what happened when he went away.

I see this as a pretty pointless post imo and just for attention.

It's a real barrier to access to sports for some, the fact that you have to be willing to drink yourself to death and sexually assault or be sexually assaulted by your team mates.

I'm surprised rowers haven't been mentioned in this thread yet. There was a scandal involving the UCL medics rowing team a few years back. God, it was vile.

A lot younger than you may expect. Pretty normal nonetheless in my circles although wouldn't happen now we have children. Something can be in bad taste now whilst also not being the end of the world years ago

The whole sordid affair sounds disgusting, but im surprised at the peal clutching over the collection of pants, given that has long been a standard hen night scavenger hunt trope.

Most men have probably been mobbed by a band of insensible, dead-eyed obese women in fairy costumes, slurring demands that they surrender their underpants. Imagine being handed a badly skidded pair 😫

I agree about the horrible nature of the hiring a dwarf etc. The worst for me is the concept of the roly poly stripper, often a fat elderly lady, and the "big joke" is that this supposedly disgusting person is getting their kit off and will proceed to debase herself, the recipient and all witnesses in short order. Like, ugh.

Someone like that would not be my 'D'P in any universe.

Funny story – my DH once worked for a counselling service and he had a session with someone who had been on a rugby stag do where the team had to drink the urine of their teammates for one of these 'games'. They all caught chlamydia. The end.

Yeah, that's how they all caught chlamydia 😂

It was definitely how they caught it.

Hmm...a lot of ageism and body shaming in this post :(

Keep on topic.

You sure? Sounds like they were taking the piss.

Am not sure if my post was clear enough. My DH was a counsellor in a medical setting – he knew this info from having had sessions with one of the rugby team who came in for counselling due to it, and from the medical team treating three quarters of the team who drank one persons piss. Yes … they literally were taking the piss!

This was on a university campus medical centre, hence why it was all quite self contained that way.

It was just a play on words...