Utterly sickened by rugby tour/stag DP attended

[Stagupset]

I have name changed for this. DP plays rugby and they have an annual weekender/end of season tour somewhere each season, usually always in the UK. One of the players is getting married so they did a combined tour/stag this year abroad.

I am friendly with a couple of other partners and so have been made aware of some of the details.

They hired someone to be handcuffed to the stag, purely based on his small size. I find this really offensive.

There was really really weird games/dares involving urine that I won’t repeat on here.

Two players, DP included, lost a bet and had to streak in public wearing only a pair of underwear each which was ‘borrowed’ from a hen party out there.

At least two players cheated on their wives.

DP has verified all of the above and said it’s standard fare when rugby players go away together (added that he was unaware of the cheating and wouldn’t approve). I can’t say I was ever aware of this rugby ‘notoriety’ before I met him.

I have told him I disapprove and he thinks I am over reacting and should accept it’s par for the course. Am I over reacting?

Yup. I feel the same. It's deeply depressing. Animals

Your DH sounds like a Prince. 🙄

Surprised some of the guys went home and told their wives more details tbh. Usually these sort of things stay between the guys like a weird loyalty pact.

As for handcuffing the dwarf to one of them, my younger brother did the same thing on his stag and I thought it was grim too.

She's already been told she has to have a trip to an STI clinic.

I don't understand this view point at all.

So you have absolutely no sense of what is normal, socially accepted behaviour?

Who exactly is streaking " a laugh " for ? Perhaps for the exhibitionist who is actually doing it. But not for the vast majority of people who have to witness it.

Funny that you are happy about the streaking but not so forgiving of the women taking their knickers off in public. Or is it just the fact they gave the knickers to the guys that crosses the line for you? If they had taken them off, thrown them on the ground and sone naked men had randomly picked them up and put them on then that would have been ok then?

And peeing on each other and drinking piss is " harmless " behaviour? I take it Uralogenia is ok with you then? But surely even you must think a club isn't the best setting to indulge this practice and should be reserved for consenting adults in private.?

I don't know if you have DC but it's no wonder men grow up to behave like uncivilised animals if people actually condone behaviour like this. Your only boundary is cheating. Anyone who wants to have sex with men who behave like this must have absolutely no self respect.

Might be a awful term but if my daughter lent some big fella her pants on a night out shed be getting a slap when I heard of it!

Exactly.

This is the third thread recently in a similar vein.

Some females need to raise the bar.

@Sunandsunshine Who exactly is streaking " a laugh " for ? Perhaps for the exhibitionist who is actually doing it. But not for the vast majority of people who have to witness it.

That is a criminal offence and people get arrested for it. Maybe they should think about that?

@TheTealHiker
You are right. I hadn't actually thought about the legal aspect.

But the man asking for them is what? Just a rugby lad out on the lash?

You deserve each other.

but it’s a completely specific rugby/stag weekend.
Its not like this is his behaviour day to day or in his social life outside of rugby.
Whats happened to people’s understanding of basic human behaviour. Society works best when it’s about people not just whatever the “rules” are for your period of history.

I don't get what you are saying at all.
He doesn't get a free pass because it's a rugby /stag weekend

Noone has to attend a weekend like that. And if they choose to go we can certainly judge them both for going and for how they behave during that weekend

So violence is the solution? Slapping someone is far worse than silly pissed up behaviour

And why would your daughter tell you if she did do it?

@Peony1985 but why do stags/rugby tours have to involve this sort of behaviour, usually at the expense and degradation of someone, usually women, but can add someone with medical/physical difference to the mix too

I think if a man happily joins in with this behaviour then this shows who he is. I have far better regard for a man who says no to attending these sort of events and judges men that do.

You may benefit from re-reading my post.

Exactly as @IlikebigboatsandIcannotlie and @sittingonabeach say.

The type of person who choices to go on that trip and do those things is who that person is. Nobody has to attend such an event nobody is holding a gun to these men’s heads and forcing them to take part they go willingly and happily.

They talk about it being a bit of fun ladz ladz and bants. What happens on tour stays on tour godshite stuff. A women who drops her knickers a slapper but a man who wears them just a fun loving chap 😂

Just because they only do it every so often isn’t a get out clause. Thats the true them, the rest of the time is the mask they wear to look like decent people and to fit into society’s norms.

I worked in one of the pubs routinely featured in the post-match drinking crawl. It was all staff on duty with extra security. The behaviour was insane - yes, funny as long as you maintained detachment, but sometimes they'd make you part of their 'entertainment' which wasn't funny and could be frightening. Twice we had to close the pub and get the police to clear them out.

Can attest that the rowing club was no better. And, as we know, a lot of stag groups also act this way. If there is a class difference, it's about the sense of easy entitlement to do whatever they like, wherever and to whomever they like. Bullingdon Club, anyone?

It’s usually at their own expense. That’s the point.

Behaving like that also degrades their wives and partners

@Peony1985 cheating on their partners, going to strip clubs, being handcuffed to a person with medical/physical differences is at their own expense? Other people having to put up with drunken antics, streaking is at the men’s expense?

That’s on them and their relationships though

Indeed. Which is why @Stagupset is wise to be rethinking whether she wants to be in one

You would have to be some kind of desperately insecure attention seeker of a woman to be flattered by the attention of a bunch of drunken men on a stag/rugby night though

Well, you did decide to partner up with a rugby player, everyone knows what that culture is like.

Quite frankly, Rugby should just be banned. Both kinds, Union and League.

@Anarchy99 I know you said you were happy to be groped and didn’t give a shit about partners at home when you were out and about with rugby players but most partners don’t like the idea of their partner groping another woman (whether that woman consents or not) and it does degrade them.