Transgender niece

[Stargazelamb]

My niece lives in another country and I’ve just heard that she is becoming a he. She has changed her name, is taking hormone medication and now has facial hair. She is a transgender boy. However she sees herself as a boy. AIBU to think she will never be a biological boy and to refer to her as a transgender boy? I realise this could be an emotive topic.

In the same way that "fake" is an adjective, yes, granted.

What’s ’male identified clothes’? So regressive sex stereotypes makes one the opposite sex? ‘Sound male’. None of those things makes a woman a man.

Male identified clothes? What are they? Trousers? I wore trousers and trainers and a shirt today. I forgot to wax my moustache. I have an ambivilent name

Am I 'living as a man'?

What nonsense.

You refer to him as your niece and you use ‘her’ as his pronouns.

Everything your nephew (or nibling if you find that too difficult) needs to know.

OK I see a bat signal has gone out and the FWR crew have flooded this thread. I’m out. OP, just be aware that you are being advised here by a highly radicalised group.

Well would you affirm an anorexic person as fat?

What a shock, you can’t answer basic questions. Trans ideology relies on delusion. It’s no wonder you aren’t able to stick around.

What is FWR? Really, I’m just trying to understand, I may never, however I will do everything I can to approach this in the right way

Im a professional working with children and families and have worked with children for over 20 years. Not one single child who is 'trans' hasnt had a mixture of one or many of those factors. Not one.

Its normalised because its true. Professionals working on the ground with kids see this day in, day out.

I don’t expect anything different from mumsnet honestly. I hope the OP at least treats her nephew (or niece if she insists) with respect

My partner has long hair, has a name that can be used by women. Jury is out on his voice. I better tell him he might in fact be a woman.

I find this really sad

I thought they'd have better things to do, on a Friday night during Pride month, than come on Mumsnet to be pronoun police.

Of course I will

I think back to things I thought were right , things I liked, people I admired, things I wanted to do etc when I was 19. Funnily enough they are almost without exception things I no longer find important. Luckily none of them involved permanently modifying my body, removing healthy body parts or permanently compromising my physical health or wellbeing.

The irony.

I thought we were talking about a niece not a nephew.

Because every time we lie and say something we don’t believe to be true we’re reinforcing the idea that you can change your sex and go from she to he. It’s an unbelievably difficult thing when it’s your own family member but if no one holds the line that sex is immutable then we’re getting deeper in to the lie that sex doesn’t matter and that is a huge issue for women’s rights.

Young people's brains don't mature until at least 25. Plenty of people regret decisions made when they're young and there are lots of detransitioners who were mistaken about their gender identity.

I think you know what FWR is.

Friday night thread if ever I saw one.

In my honest opinion, I think it can be related to a lot of things, childhood trauma, being influenced by things on the internet from a young age, lack of self esteem and self worth, not knowing where you fit in society, mental health issues and potentially neurodivergence.

I wouldn’t say it relates to sexuality though. A lot of the gay community don’t like being under the same ‘umbrella’ as transgender people.

I know of 2 trans people (one female to male and the other male to female) both are autistic. And I know of a non-binary (but biologically female) person who states they are neurodiverse. But that’s not to say all neurodiverse people will have gender dysphoria, they don’t. But in cases I’ve read about all of trans people are neurodiverse.

I think it’s a very complex and nuanced circumstance. The human mind and emotions are very complex. It’s not a ‘one size fits all’ scenario.

You seem like a really lovely and open minded person, so I hope the good relationship you have with them can continue.

But remember: You can respect your nieces decision to live as a ‘male’, and you can also believe she will always be biologically female, without expressing your feelings directly to them which could cause any distress or fallouts.

Best of luck x

@aliceyyyy2654 by dressing in male identified clothes

"Male identified clothes" don't exist.

I don't choose my clothes based on the fact that I'm a man. Who on earth dresses on the basis of their sex? That sounds utterly bizarre.

OP just found out. In this instance, ‘niece’ clarifies who OP is talking about

This is obviously complete nonsense.

We have to deal in a world of fact, not make believe.