Transgender niece

[Stargazelamb]

My niece lives in another country and I’ve just heard that she is becoming a he. She has changed her name, is taking hormone medication and now has facial hair. She is a transgender boy. However she sees herself as a boy. AIBU to think she will never be a biological boy and to refer to her as a transgender boy? I realise this could be an emotive topic.

its incredibly abusive for adults to make her think she’s anything other than a trans boy.

You probably have little to do with the child, and even less if you insist on doing that. None of your business imo.

Is it necessary to post on the internet about your niece’s life though? Just seems like pretty awful behaviour from an aunt.

Not really your business

Obviously she’s not a boy and the adults around her who are facilitating her delusion (or desire to escape from the disadvantages of being a girl) are doing her a horrendous disservice.

Tricky to navigate though.

Non issue. Wish them well

How old is she?

Of course YANBU, no one can changes sex.

You’ll need to decide how to play this depending on what you want regarding a relationship with both the niece and her parents.

You obviously don’t understand how online forums work.

There are no identifying details on the OP.

Only a dick would deliberately refer to someone in a way they’ve been asked not to.

Gotta love Mumsnet on a Friday night 🤣

You don't think that the hormones will replace her female reproductive organs with male ones?

If we're talking facial hair we're talking old enough to know their own mind
So mind your own business

I will always fully support my niece, will love her and will be seeing her soon. I’m trying to understand how to best navigate it. I’ve just heard the news. I will accept the he/him but I’m not able to accept she’s a boy, she’s a transgender boy.

Do not comply. How old is she?

For the sake of family I'd just go along with it

And apparently the OP realises it could be an emotive subject! 😁

Don't ask people to lie then.

Let's be honest, she will never be a boy, she's a girl. However, if he/she wants you to refer to her as a boy, what's the harm? I'm a firm believer you are the sex you're born with, but if it makes them happy why deny them that?

What’s the problem though unless you’re thinking of writing ‘Happy Birthday transgender boy’ on their cards?

This is anonymous board and OP/ the aunt wants to discuss something very troubling about her niece which her niece will not be seeing. Of course it is not “pretty awful behaviour”.

Exactly what does anyone think they’re achieving by doing something like this other than making themselves look like a self righteous prick?

The only person you’re going to affect if you refuse to refer to him as your nephew is you. so if you really think that you are that important, and you’d rather not have a relationship with him, then crack on.

But don’t expect him to suddenly have an epiphany or think that you have the right to belittle his choices or decisions.

How old is your niece and which country is she in?

Surely referring to him as your nephew would be a good start.

She's a girl but use the name she wants to use.

You wouldnt use pronouns in front of the person anyway, only about the person

So call her Bob or whatever she wants to be called and grit your teeth and hope that the protective network around her will talk some sense into her and it will just be a phase and her body wont be too damaged.

Such a shame.

A good start might be not compelling someone to indulge in a lie/delusion. That’s not very kind.

Surely you just call her by whatever name she has chosen and carry on as normal. Do you often refer to her as girl. Why do you need to comment on whether she is a boy or transgender boy anyway. A simple hi Fred how is school is a natural conversation not hi my transgender nephew how is school