Transgender niece

[Stargazelamb]

My niece lives in another country and I’ve just heard that she is becoming a he. She has changed her name, is taking hormone medication and now has facial hair. She is a transgender boy. However she sees herself as a boy. AIBU to think she will never be a biological boy and to refer to her as a transgender boy? I realise this could be an emotive topic.

Maybe take your own advice love.

Do you actually understand how Mumsnet works?

No, not really, I have a social life. With real people.

Hey, maybe "uncouth" is a quality in lady beetles?

And yet here you are with all the hateful old ladies.

Ooh! Like your thinking.

"Totally real people! In real life! I swear!!"

So many deletions!

Soooo many.

Nice to know the mods are on shift tonight.

Why does it always go the same way?

Not pleasant post
Not pleasant post
Insulting post
More insulting post
Fuck it I'll just have a go at everyone post
Deletions of posts
Mumsnet calling email arriving in posters inbox right about now.

It is not respectful to ask someone to lie. It is not respectful to gaslight in particular, women and girls to mis-sex a male (in the case of transwomen, I know in OP's case it's a transman). Expecting women and girls to mis-sex people is not only disrespectful, it can be dangerous to women and girls.

With girls who identify as boys, the vast majority of the time it is, that is a statistical fact. Denying that does not help anyone on either side of the debate.

If you continue reading posts by the OP on this thread, she calls them 'he' and 'his'. The point is, OP is just getting used to the idea and everyone slips up at the start, cut the OP some slack.

And, the fact you think the OP should change her beliefs and refer to a female as 'he' says everything. This is a very coercive and warrants complete submission on one side.

Yes, feminists are the 'highly radicalised' ones, not the ones who are reordering society and demanding complete submission. 🙄

A LOT different! Gay people didn't seek to encourage lesbian women to have their breasts amputated, for one. This is not Gay 2.0. Please stop making it so. The only way trans could get any traction at all was by piggybacking onto the LGB to give them legitimacy. But gay rights took nothing away from anyone else, and didn't advocate sterilisation and removing body parts. They are polar opposites.

Words have meanings. Basic meanings don't evolve. If there is no definition of a woman, women cannot be defended. You cannot defend what you can't define. In a civilised society, words give meanings and protections.

Language evolves. People develop vocabulary to express concepts when the existing language isn’t providing that expression.

Yes.

But transactivist extremists didn't "evolve" language.They forced it and they banned other language. They threatened, doxxed and cancelled people who didn't use the language that trans extremists deemed was "inclusive". And their version of "inclusive" language excluded sex-specific language used to describe uniquely female experience, bodies, and thoughts/ideas.

Straight out of 1984.

example?

Yet apparently basic manners is not expected of trans people to not bully, gaslight, coerce and browbeat women into mis-sexing them. Who think they are so important the world revolves around them, and the rights of 99% of the population don't exist. Only the '1%'.

What is obvious, is those that are are defending trans ideology have never met a transwoman, unlike most of us. Fastest way to become a 'terf'.

If they're a transman, fair enough. But if they're a transwoman (male), and they enter female spaces, they are hurting people, the female sex, who need single sex spaces away from the male sex. It's what the Supreme Court ruling was all about.

Same goes for if you oppose womens sex based rights! And this is a fight us feminists are winning, and you are losing. 😁👍

I know several trans men and women, of different age groups and experiences. I know them through my work life, social networks and family.

You back your arguments with unfounded assumptions.

"Trans women are women". Well, no, by definition.

I'm a feminist. I don't believe my rights should come at the expense of others. I have not time for any trans person demanding complete submission of women. just like I don't have time for any woman demanding complete submission of trans people.

I'm fine with reordering society tbh as the one we're living in is pretty shit.

Anyway. If this was my nephew, I'd happily call him my nephew and respect his pronouns. The whole fucking world is against him right now. I'm his aunt, and I will respect him until he gives me reason not to.

As a feminist, your rights are not coming at the 'expense' of others. However your rights as a woman by definition, do not apply to men. Your rights to women's single sex spaces and services do not apply to men. Men have their own spaces and services.

I don't believe my rights should come at the expense of others.

Which of your rights do you think come at the expense of anyone else?

I don't have time for any woman demanding complete submission of trans people.

I don't understand what you mean by that. Trans people have all the same rights as anyone else, and I know of no woman who tries to take those rights away.