AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

So then the complaint should be about flashing. Not short skirts.

And why are you mentioning boys? Who cares what they think.

Do you not think in a mixed secondary school, the boys (with raging hormones and feelings of attraction) might be a bit uncomfortable constantly seeing the exposed buttocks and/or underwear of their female classmates? Some might (due to the nature of human biology) instinctively look?

This is no different when I was at grammar school 1960-1965 and mini skirts were all the rage. We rolled the skirts up at the waistband but if a teacher stopped you they made you kneel and if your skirt didn’t touch the floor you got a detention. Why can the teachers not exact the same rules now?

Photo attached is from a uniform shop.
Now imagine the skirt being rolled up far enough to bring the bottom of the skirt in line the with hem of the blazer.
You’ll see a lot more than just leg.
Now combine this with no tights and a tho f.

Well that’s a bit weird

Oh please. Stop with the 'men/boys feeling uncomfortable' 'raging hormones' enabling.

They have to learn how to cope with 'feeiing uncomfortable' as women and girls rightly dress as they please in other areas and once in college there's no knee length skirts and thick tights to hide these apparently offensive gussets and 'bare buttocks'.

This is the perfect opportunity to teach boys <and male teachers it seems> that their 'feelings' are their responsibility and they need to develop strategies to cope

Dress codes fine. Imposed and policed reasonably and without weekly hysterical emails. All the 'exposed buttocks' hyperbole, nope.

@Gloriia what would you have done in the OP’s shoes?

I for one, if I had a daughter would be telling her not to have it short.
The girls need to have a bit of class, and not look sleazy.
After all, it would be giving the boys the wrong impression.

Really? Because Id feel deeply uncomfortable if I had to spend my days working alongside men/boys if they were as undressed as you seem to feel is natural and normal in girls. It is not for everyone else to just "take responsibility" for their feelings (or walk around with their eyes shut) because teenage girls want to get their arse and bits out. We live in a society where its considered normal to keep certain parts of your body covered, unless, it seems, you are a young woman. And you want to double down on this? Makes me suspect your motives tbh.

They shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable at all. The girls should be dressings respectfully and definitely not just be "dressing as they please". The same reason they shouldn't be wearing a bikini in school even if they really want to. I doubt the girls would like it if their male classmates were wearing speedos.

I don't know much about "college" (because all my children just stayed on at the grammar school) but that's a dress code to adhere to. I don't know why you think it's appropriate to show underwear or bare bums at school. It's quite normal that it would make people feel uncomfortable. I honestly think if girls dress like this they should expect their male classmates to look, it's only natural.

Dress codes are fine yes. And they should be policied yes. So girls can't wear whatever they like.

Nothing, I'd have rolled my eyes and ignored. I only used to contact school in dire emergencies. I'd have avoided interaction about silly newsletters for my own sanity.

Disclaimer dc abided by all rules and I thankfully I wasn't ever summoned for a telling off.

Still… very odd to have been so passive about the fact that throughout all your kids schooling you thought only the “odd” teacher was competent and the others ones basically failed your children - but you go hell to leather on mumsnet threads but when it comes to RL and your kids education it’s is 🤷‍♀️ no biggie approach

Oh I bet you were SO disappointed that your kids abided by all the uniform rules @Gloriia !!!

'The girls should be dressings respectfully and definitely not just be "dressing as they please". The same reason they shouldn't be wearing a bikini in school even if they really want to'

I said 'in other areas' girls dress as they please so these poor uncomfortable boys will have to cope with a thigh once in sixth form/"college"/grammar school/ whatever you want to call it.

Dress codes can be encouraged without the hysterical bare arsed/sweaty/bare bummed body shaming spouted throughout this frothing thread.

Who suggested wearing a biking to school? What have bikinis got to do with anything?

Well no I was the one purchasing said uniform and in charge?

If her DC went to school in their underwear, no issue for her. "Empowerment!"

Funnily enough at my DC grammar not every teacher was amazing, but all were competent and some were absolutely outstanding.

You just can't help wondering where simple common sense left the building, can you? A blazer is a garment that is designed to be worn on the top half of the body, and a skirt is a garment that is designed to be worn on the bottom half of the body - with the waist being the obvious middle point.

Why is there so much obstinacy and faux-confusion amongst people seemingly unable to grasp the concept that, if a bottom-half garment doesn't extend any further down than a top-half garment does, there's clearly something very wrong?

It's a logical extension if they "can wear whatever they like".

If our dc were doing badly I'd have soon been in touch with them believe me. Fortunately they excelled but would have done so with a sixth former running the show.

So despite having zero respect for basically all your kids teachers bar the odd competent one… you didn’t bother to ever raise because your kids excelled.

Does it occur to you that perhaps they were excelling because there was much more than just the “odd” competent teacher?

Yes but let’s say you bought a school skirt

and then your 14 year old dd waltzed by you out the door to school with said school skirt brushing her ass cheeks

and the school called to say that not on keeping with the stipulated school uniform

your response would have been…..?

It is a bit funny that @Gloriia own kids were hardcore uniform rule followers throughout their education, and their schools never had to contact her re uniform infringement - whereas @Gloriia was probably silently willing them tot do something against the uniform rules 🤭

I'm a 40 year old hetrosexual woman.

I am utterly fed up of seeing the arse cheeks of teenagers in tiny shorts, skirts, and whatever else.

The school is right, it's common decency to learn how to dress in a way which isn't going to make other people really uncomfy.

This is the perfect opportunity to teach boys <and male teachers it seems> that their 'feelings' are their responsibility and they need to develop strategies to cope

Same with boys and men, then, and behaviours driven by toxic masculinity? They're doing nothing wrong and they have the absolute right to act as they do - and women and girls just need to understand that's the way it is and should be, as there's no such thing as respecting and considering other people in society?

Bare bums and underwear are being exposed, that's what others have seen. And it's not appropriate. Nothing about body shaming, just some bits are private and should be covered. There's a reason we wear clothes and don't frolick around naked like animals.