AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

Tell me why it’s a good idea then for girls to wear very short skirts. The language is neutral in terms of sexism, because it IS a bad idea from various points of view , not just the one you and OP jumped at , and wasn’t actually mentioned by the school.

Faux outrage over words like “private parts” and “bum cheeks” isn’t going to get your point across. How else would you describe it?

Seriously, back off. Stop staring and stop treating these girls like they are trying to entice the poor men.

@Gloriia

Yawn. For the hundredth time, it's not about people staring. It's about being forced to see things you really do not want to see. I know it may be hard for you to understand (because you keep coming back with the same insinuation that teachers and men in general are drooling as they follow pubescent girls up the stairs) but people don't want to see bare, fleshy buttocks, thanks very much.

And I don't want to sit on a chair that someone's bare arse has been on. Why is that so hard to understand? I have seen the 'thong with a frill' type skirts a few times and it's gross, tasteless, vulgar and totally inappropriate at school.

OK - I'm struggling to think of where it would be appropriate...er a porno film? But there is absolutely no place for it at school. I'm a straight woman and I flinch when I see this sight. It's just embarrassing, not arousing, for 99.9 % of people, and inconsiderate to foist it on us.

I showed this thread to a friend who teaches at the same school. I’m interested in the opinions of teachers on here who have attempted to objectively outline why it IS an issue in some schools. However friend confirms that for the school in question, it’s a tiny minority but they do have a small number of persistent emailers to the school complaining about girls in short skirts so have to act.

Absolutely right.

But the deluded will not be convinced, alas.

Because it’s deeply unpleasant and unhygienic to boot.

You’ve got your answer now leave them to do their job.

Well that would be an improvement on what I saw! The girls had no visible underwear - the skirt (for want of a better word) stopped halfway up their backsides and bare buttocks were on show just as they would be with a thong.

Have you been out of the house recently? Plenty of women are on public transport, in gyms, sitting in parks or at concerts, hanging out in coffee shops, restaurants and bars etc wearing really short shorts or skirts. You must have a tough time going anywhere if you find it so offensive.

School IS different and should be I agree.

I have seen very few women with skirts as short as pants with buttocks on show, Aside from the beach. where short shorts are mostly worn or longer sundresses aside form swimwear. Actually short shorts are better as they mostly clothe under wear properly. Teeny tiny skirts the same length as pants are 100 times worse as they float up with every step.

What’s wrong with the email? It’s a good idea and the responsibility of the school AND the parents to tell them.

I haven't seen grown women with bare butts on show, though. Yes, I see some of those scrunch-bum leggings occasionally but I think adult women have enough nous to realise that baring their arse cheeks in public does send a message they probably don't want to send. Teenagers don't always have this life-experience, intelligence or sense of what's appropriate and need parental guidance, or school intervention if parents haven't done their job.

Unecessarily crude language to describe...er..well, not exactly.a vicar's tea party?

Unecessarily crude clothing will elicit crude descriptions, for sure.

How about 'the plump, peachy protuberant posterior portions of our young lasses peeping from a pretty peplum'. But that doesn't convey the unpleasant, crude and vulgar sight which the girls themselves have probably never seen unless they scrutinise themselves in a full-lenght mirror before leaving the house.

I'd like to know how you suggest the unpleasant sight is best described.

I don't think people are being unnecessarily crude. They are simply trying to explain why the rule is so necessary and the extent of the problem.

Yes, there's a poll, but there's also a comment section.

I actually find it quite strange/weird when grown adults are fighting for girls’ “right” to be as naked as they want , in any context. How does that actually benefit girls? Who does it benefit?

I know!

I was in secondary school in the nineties and our skirts had to cover our arses or we were sent home. Some girls did hitch their skirts up a little bit but absolutely nothing like what I see at my child’s secondary school. It’s positively St Trinian.

Parents will fight the school over absolutely anything and everything. It’s not just the skirt it’s every single rule, the skirt is just one tiny aspect. I don’t know how today’s parents were raised but they cannot cope with authoritarianism at all.

What on earth happened to the concept of giving guidance to young people? Surely this is especially important at puberty when youngsters are growing and developing in ways that they may not be psychologically ready for, or experienced enough to deal with?

It used to be called parenting. Are there really pps on here who think parenting stops when they go to secondary school? That's surely the really hard bit - but the bit that is crucial in helping teenagers to navigate the world successfully, even if it means you can't always be their friend.

I worry about kids whose parents want to be their mates...

The language used has been derogatory and sneery.

Fine, discuss welfare concerns but try to use appropriate language or else it all looks like total mockery. Taking the piss out of young girls 'sweaty arse cheeks' in the guise of concerns for men's 'uncomfortable feelings' is not a good look.

Bums or backsides would suffice? No need for the 'sweaty arse cheeks'.

'How about 'the plump, peachy protuberant posterior portions of our young lasses peeping from a pretty peplum' Why would anyone post that creepy description .

I'm pretty sure the reason I only have two friends at the school gates is because most of the others mums conversations are just constant outrage at the school for the most trivial things and they think I am completely unreasonable for not agreeing. It's almost like they try to outdo each other over who can be more outraged.

One of them shouted at the headteacher because her child didn't have a good enough part in the nativity. And 100% thought she was justified on doing so.

No what is derogatory is encouraging and saying it’s ok and normal for young girls to dress like this.

”Parents” won’t. Some parents will. Are there some rules I think are stupid or pointless ? Yes. Are they even more frustrating when certain behaviours go unchecked , but you can get a detention for not having your maths kit on a non maths day? Definitely.

I still tell DD to toe the line with some rules being absolutely non negotiable. Skirt length is one of them for the few months a year she actually wears one.

'Yawn. For the hundredth time, it's not about people staring. It's about being forced to see things you really do not want to see. I know it may be hard for you to understand (because you keep coming back with the same insinuation that teachers and men in general are drooling as they follow pubescent girls up the stairs'

I walk up stairs all the time. I could not describe the attire of the people ahead of me. Folk need to look elsewhere, not at young girl's backsides. It shouldn't need saying but here we are.

You can see on this thread what happened.