AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

'The thing for me here is that there was an incident in recent weeks where a girl of about 15 / 16 was raped and she'd been hanging around sand dunes at 3am near a tented homeless community - some people were against people stating that she shouldn't have been there because they were in the same feminist mindset - but the reality is we know as women these things aren't safe! It's wrong to encourage women and young girls not to take protective measures because they should have the right not to, yes we shouldn't have to but we do'

Such an appalling false equivalence. Yes women should be careful as we know and being alone in high risk areas is not looking after oneself.

This is about skirts in school. The oft sneered at 'arse cheeks' the poor menz who feel 'uncomfortable'. Posters walking up stairs and staring at said 'arse cheeks', one even got so close to see a tampon string!

If only teachers paid as much attention to teaching. These letters about uniforms get fired off at regular intervals yet attend a parents evening and half of them are sat open mouthed trying to work out who your dc is.

Seriously, back off. Stop staring and stop treating these girls like they are trying to entice the poor men.

As for comments about 'nude' coloured items. Myob.

Oh do stop trying to encourage or excuse this pressure on girls. It’s not poor menz it’s women too who find this revolting and uncomfortable too.I wouldn’t want to see men, women or boys hanging round with their buttocks hanging out either . Funny how you’re not advocating everybody do the same. It’s almost as if you want girls to walk round like this . Deeply worrying.

The language on this thread is what is 'deeply disturbing'. The misogynistic constant sneers about 'sweaty arse cheeks' and the presumption that teen girls are all trying to entice men.

Seriously, these outdated attitudes need to change.

Stop looking up girls skirts as they walk upstairs and any men that 'feel uncomfortable' are the problem. Not the young girls.

Never heard of you hun. A brave namechange? Granted some folk struggle to debate politely as you've demonstrated.

It’s hard to properly explain, as it’s very subjective I would think. It also consisted of modelling, examples and lots of discussion. There were some hard rules, like no bikinis when little , or swimsuits with cut offs, basically the mini versions of a women’s “sexy” swimwear. No crop tops until a certain age. No clothes generally, designed for adult women with adult bodies , just in a teeny tiny version. No heels. That kind of stuff.More importantly , as a young, active child I encouraged clothes that were practical, comfortable, allowed freedom of movement etc. The lines are getting a lot thinner now that she’s a teenager, but I think those early lessons have sunk in , as I very rarely have any objections for her clothing choices. When I do it’s mostly around… wear a bloody coat!

Like I said , very subjective. Some people would think I’m a dinosaur(and I definitely am in some respects), some people would think I’m irresponsible for allowing certain things.

No its your language that’s concerning, deeply concerning. Nobody should be encouraging women,girls or boys for that matter to do this.

Arse cheeks sweat- fact! It shows zero self respect or hygiene to walk around in public with them hanging out whether you’re male or female. Funny how you’re just advocating girls do this.

Tell me one good thing about being able to wear really short skirts. What’s the advantage here? They can’t even walk properly, much less, run, jump, be active. What are the benefits of wearing short skirts? Why do we want our daughters to learn that showing as much skin as possible is a good thing? How do they benefit from it?

Maybe if you gave some positive, instead of random rants , people would see your point of view.

'No its your language that’s concerning, deeply concerning'

I haven't said anything deeply concerning, I've suggested people stop looking up skirts as they go upstairs, why is that concerning? I've said teachers should put as much effort into teaching as they do into micro managing clothing. They should perhaps do a work experience at a college and see how the male teachers there cope with short skirts, legging and <gasp> even tight shorts.

Stop sexualising teens. The amount of times I've seen 'it makes the menz uncomfortable' on this very thread is what is 'deeply concerning'.

😂You are sexualising teens!!!! Encouraging girls to walk round like this, saying it’s normal and ok. . Since when did it become ok for girls or boys to walk around exposing their buttocks? Who decided this was a good look and girls shouldn’t be discouraged from developing some self respect?

Trust me nobody needs to look up skirts to see more than they should if somebody with a skirt level with pants is above them. The buttocks are fully visable!!! Last I heard looking in front of you in the safe way to go up and down stairs!

'Maybe if you gave some positive, instead of random rants , people would see your point of view'

Page after page about 'sweaty arse cheeks' yet I'm the one doing random rants?

The posts don't seem to show any concern for welfare of kids, more just disgust and revulsion at gussets and 'arse cheeks'.

We've lived in different places I've seen many school kids at drop off and pick up. I walk past a senior school every say at kicking out time, I just see young kids. That's it. I don't inspect their attire. Stop blaming girls for men 'being uncomfortable'.

My daughter does this. As a parent I am horrified but she and her other friends leave the house with a normal length and roll it up on the way to school. Uniform policy is skirts and not trousers which I hate anyway, and It’s peer pressure and school don’t say anything to any of them anymore which makes them think it’s ok

It’s its men feeling uncomfortable, it’s everybody. The fact you this or the need to make it stop makes me deeply worry about your motives.

We didn’t have thongs when I was young and wearing minis. And if I had asked for that type of underwear my mother would have asked me why I need sexy underwear at my age and I would have got short shrift.

It’s your attitude which is contributing to sexualising teenagers. Who are you that you’re so insistent that societal norms of decency should no longer apply and we should all get comfortable with the normalisation of young women and teenage girls having theirs private parts on display?

This!

My husband and I were in the City Centre yesterday celebrating a freinds birthday. We forgot TRANSMT. Was on in the green. Theee was a lovely looking young lass walking in front of us. She had on black knickers and a sandal strap top.!. She was literally only half dressed. So vulnerable! I couldnt stop thinking about her. I hope she got home safely. The town was a zoo last night.

I don't think any of them have underwear on show, the my DD & her friends all wear shorts under thier skirt.
In PE they are required to wear really really short skorts.
The boys walk around with thier pants on show and bums out.
There has to be some equality.

I’m still waiting for at least one positive of girls wearing really tiny skirts.

I was on an escalator only last week and ahead of me was a young girl whose bare bottom was clearly visible under her very short skirt. I assume she was wearing a thong but she looked naked under the skirt. It wasn’t a sight I could have avoided due to the safety requirement of keeping my eyes open and looking ahead whilst ascending an escalator.

Wow they wear them to show there ass cheeks in the Uk?
Oh now thats tacky and its a school uniform surely it should be at a certain length for dignity... but then again parents whinging how the letters worded no wonder.

This isn’t new. I have friends a bit older than me, who in the 60’s had to kneel down at school, and a teacher would measure the distance between the skirt hem and the knee. More than a certain measurement and you were in detention!
In the 70s we were into midi length skirts and were told to shorten them!

OP, I think you’re getting a bit of a tough time here. I agree, the letter is shoddy. I would be calling up the school and asking them to explain exactly what they mean by “not a good idea”. Get them to articulate their own sexism and victim blaming.

I have to confess that I too @Gloriia am surprised at post after post which mention “sweaty arse cheeks”, “flashing knickers”, “private parts on display” “bum cheeks” etc. As I’ve said repeatedly, there is a poll to agree or disagree. So I expect posters to disagree but using unnecessarily crude language about children to make their point is bizarre.

I think they mean it is not a good idea because you can see their underwear. And it is hardly a smart look for school!