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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to move in my garden so that a neighbour's dog stops barking?

324 replies

Motnight · 19/06/2026 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

OP posts:
OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:44

Motnight · 22/06/2026 09:15

I got the result that I wanted, albeit the neighbour was stroppy. If it's such a reasonable Idea to meet the dog why hasn't the dog owner suggested it? As opposed to asking me to move away from the bottom of the garden?

Maybe he doesn't know better, or did not have much hope of being heard well by you.

Our species lording it is so sad and tedious. As with dogs, so with 'lesser' humans, etc etc.

One day when we need to look for kindness, and don't find it, fair dos?

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:45

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:42

Explain in terms it can understand.

Not lock it like a Victorian child in a disappointment room.

Yes, lock the thing inside until the owner has control over it.

No one wants to hear incessant barking.

Such foolishness.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:46

BelieveInCher · 22/06/2026 09:43

Honestly these dog threads are getting more and more bizarre over time. Have people lost all sense of perspective? I am not prepared to make nice with a dog to get it to behave. That is the responsibility of its owner-not me. It really is pandering, it’s pathetic. If people stopped treating them like babies and started treating them like dogs again the world would be a much better place.

It is not about making nice. It is about explaining to the companion species we historically relied on to guard us.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:47

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:45

Yes, lock the thing inside until the owner has control over it.

No one wants to hear incessant barking.

Such foolishness.

I am just following the science 😇

BelieveInCher · 22/06/2026 09:51

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:46

It is not about making nice. It is about explaining to the companion species we historically relied on to guard us.

Edited

Oh I’ve heard it all now! Thank you for giving me a laugh on a Monday morning!

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:52

Let me introduce myself to my neighbour's hellbeast in the hope that it takes a liking to me.

What in the world, dear.

This country needs dog-free communities. Not all us woo over them.

A. Keep your dog quiet.

B. Stop allowing your dog to zigzag across the pavement.

C. Acknowledge it's a pet, not a human being.

D. Keep it off my land and pick up its chocolate treats.

E. Train it.

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:53

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:47

I am just following the science 😇

The science of pandering to a nuisance pet.

sueelleker · 22/06/2026 09:55

I'm on the fence here. I agree it was unreasonable to ask you to move, but I have a rescue; who was a street dog from Cyprus. She barks at anyone she sees outside the house, whether they're walking along the street or in a neighbouring garden. I keep curtains drawn so she can't see out, but I'm not shutting her in the house 24/7. I'm trying to get her to be quiet, but it's still a work in progress; and I've had her for a year.

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:55

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:46

It is not about making nice. It is about explaining to the companion species we historically relied on to guard us.

Edited

Utter hogwash.

I would do no such thing.

Abrasive a scented flowers will be planted alongside a hose sprinkler.

Keep that thing inside.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:57

Interesting that mild sociopathy is the new common sense

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:59

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:57

Interesting that mild sociopathy is the new common sense

Common sense would suggest training your dog to begin with.

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 10:01

sueelleker · 22/06/2026 09:55

I'm on the fence here. I agree it was unreasonable to ask you to move, but I have a rescue; who was a street dog from Cyprus. She barks at anyone she sees outside the house, whether they're walking along the street or in a neighbouring garden. I keep curtains drawn so she can't see out, but I'm not shutting her in the house 24/7. I'm trying to get her to be quiet, but it's still a work in progress; and I've had her for a year.

A dog that the owner chose to have.

Motnight · 22/06/2026 10:12

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:44

Maybe he doesn't know better, or did not have much hope of being heard well by you.

Our species lording it is so sad and tedious. As with dogs, so with 'lesser' humans, etc etc.

One day when we need to look for kindness, and don't find it, fair dos?

I'm not sure how many times I have to repeat myself here. My post was about my neighbour's seemingly utter sense of entitlement. Not the dog. Nor the children. I am not sure what you mean by "did not have much hope of being heard well by you". I heard him and understood my neighbour perfectly well. As he did me.

OP posts:
BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 10:17

Motnight · 22/06/2026 10:12

I'm not sure how many times I have to repeat myself here. My post was about my neighbour's seemingly utter sense of entitlement. Not the dog. Nor the children. I am not sure what you mean by "did not have much hope of being heard well by you". I heard him and understood my neighbour perfectly well. As he did me.

Apparently, you should have taken it upon yourself to immediately introduce yourself to the dog before moving elsewhere in your garden in the hopes that it would admit you into the pack.

On rejection, you then should have extended yourself to have a meaningful conversation with it, begging for its acceptance.

🤣🤣

FigTreeInEurope · 22/06/2026 10:19

It's so easy to train a dog not to bark in a garden. It just takes patience and consistency. There's no excuse for it, and people shouldn't have to put up with non stop yapping for hours, because the owner can't be bothered to do the work.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 10:35

Nobody has to repeat herself, or answer any post. "I just want support, not discussion" doesn't happen on forums. What an unruly world. Barking. Thinking. Existing.

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 10:48

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 10:35

Nobody has to repeat herself, or answer any post. "I just want support, not discussion" doesn't happen on forums. What an unruly world. Barking. Thinking. Existing.

Very unruly, dear, especially barking the dogs whose owners fail to control and introduce them to their respective neighbours.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 10:51

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 10:48

Very unruly, dear, especially barking the dogs whose owners fail to control and introduce them to their respective neighbours.

Vintage Walking GIF by Beeld & Geluid

I have never barked a dog.

Dontknowwhattodo21 · 22/06/2026 11:22

AirborneElephant · 19/06/2026 16:44

It really isn’t, it just takes consistency and time. Don’t wait “a few minutes”, EVERY time they start barking they go straight inside. No exceptions, and don’t leave them alone in the garden until the training is complete. If your dog barks constantly in the garden it’s because you can’t be bothered to stop it.

This is exactly what we did and retrained the dog not to bark in one weekend as he got fed up getting taken back into the house every time he barked.

CrayonCritic · 22/06/2026 12:23

Motnight · 22/06/2026 08:47

This is still going on?!

Just a few points of clarification.

I have a bench at the bottom of the garden, I can't move it even if I wanted to.

I have no interest in meeting the dog. None whatsoever. If I wanted to meet dogs I'd get my own.

I don't think that the neighbour was being threatening in any way when he said that he would return the favour, I think that he was being rather toddler like to be honest.

Strangely enough and I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but the neighbour / children / dog have been pretty quiet over the last couple of days.

I have no interest in meeting the dog. If I wanted to meet dogs I'd get my own.

Hahahaa OP you got me 😂😂😂

CrayonCritic · 22/06/2026 12:24

Good idea meeting the dog. But it’s obviously the owners responsibility to think of that and then arrange it!

toottoot3 · 22/06/2026 12:45

Reply, I'm not the one barking?

eastegg · 22/06/2026 13:49

Pallisers · 21/06/2026 22:58

You could have made that a lot clearer in your post.

I agree. The post was drawing a comparison between the point of agreement on one thread, ‘you have to put up with kids making noise’, with the point of agreement in this thread, ‘dogs barking next door is unacceptable’, ie saying that was the takeaway from this thread. When it isn’t, The consensus is that the neighbour was out of order, which was the question asked. Some posters complaining about their neighbours’ barking dogs does not make that the consensus of the thread, nor does it represent any sort of contradiction with people saying kids noise is to be expected, because a) they may well be different posters saying these things and b) kids noise and dog noise are very different.

So you are right and imo @Livelovebehappy was being confusing and unhelpful.

eastegg · 22/06/2026 14:02

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:42

Explain in terms it can understand.

Not lock it like a Victorian child in a disappointment room.

The neighbour isn’t on this thread. All the points you are making are points for him aren’t they? You may think that him suggesting OP meets the dog is a way forward, but you’d do well to stop making it sound like you’re criticising the OP for that not happening. She is literally sitting in her garden doing nothing wrong! The neighbour has tried no other solution to his problem than asking her to move in her own garden.

I think you should think about the tone of your posts, because at the moment they sound very critical of a woman minding her own business whom a man is trying to push around.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 14:17

eastegg · 22/06/2026 14:02

The neighbour isn’t on this thread. All the points you are making are points for him aren’t they? You may think that him suggesting OP meets the dog is a way forward, but you’d do well to stop making it sound like you’re criticising the OP for that not happening. She is literally sitting in her garden doing nothing wrong! The neighbour has tried no other solution to his problem than asking her to move in her own garden.

I think you should think about the tone of your posts, because at the moment they sound very critical of a woman minding her own business whom a man is trying to push around.

#TeamDog

I don't care about the humans and their genders but interspecies communication

One of them could have asked what would make this better

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