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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to move in my garden so that a neighbour's dog stops barking?

324 replies

Motnight · 19/06/2026 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

OP posts:
foodlovefood · 21/06/2026 18:46

I have a neighbour who had 7 dogs. Some kept in a kennel. They barked constantly. More so when I was in my driveway. I was asked to stop using my driveway so the dogs would t bark!!

apparently a few houses in the street complained to the council. Surprisingly as threat of a fine helped with the barking.

VanGoSunflowers · 21/06/2026 18:57

I can actually believe this happened and YANBU

Im at my wit’s end with my Nextdoor neighbour’s dog. He barks all the time. All day and at really unsociable hours. The other morning it was 4am until 5am. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I can’t sleep with my windows open in this heat. I can cope with the day barking, I WFH but have to have music on all day to drown him out but I am really struggling with sleep deprivation at the moment. I have a dog myself and he is silent all evening, all night and all
morning. Barks when people walk past the house but I stop him immediately when he does.

Wilnis7 · 21/06/2026 19:23

yanbu

he's basically saying can you stop using this end o the garden ever

I do however think the most neighbourly and efective way to deal with the situation is go and get to know the dog so it knows your scent and hopefully will stop barking (I'm not saying this is right, I'm just saying it is the most likely way o stopping the barking)

plumclafoutis · 21/06/2026 19:31

INX · 19/06/2026 16:59

You know with 100% certainty YANBU.

No-one's going to tell you that you should've moved elsewhere in your garden, due to someone else's dog.

That was a lot of typing/detail to have people confirm what you absolutely know 🤷‍♂️

Edited

This post is so unnecessary.

DangerousAlchemy · 21/06/2026 19:48

user1471538275 · 19/06/2026 16:04

You were not the problem.

The dog was the problem.(and its owner)

So the dog needed to move (or be trained)

As to his threat of 'returning the favour some day', I would be noting that down - in fact if there are any other issues it might be worth recording them if he's going to be like that.

Yeah I'd have wanted to say - 'sorry can you just repeat that please? I'm just recording what you are saying on my phone for future reference' cheeky bastard! Train your dog mate or take it indoors!

DangerousAlchemy · 21/06/2026 19:49

VanGoSunflowers · 21/06/2026 18:57

I can actually believe this happened and YANBU

Im at my wit’s end with my Nextdoor neighbour’s dog. He barks all the time. All day and at really unsociable hours. The other morning it was 4am until 5am. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I can’t sleep with my windows open in this heat. I can cope with the day barking, I WFH but have to have music on all day to drown him out but I am really struggling with sleep deprivation at the moment. I have a dog myself and he is silent all evening, all night and all
morning. Barks when people walk past the house but I stop him immediately when he does.

Edited

Have you spoken to your NDN about this? It sounds like an awful situation 😪

DangerousAlchemy · 21/06/2026 19:56

daffodilandtulip · 21/06/2026 15:56

I can’t even sit in my garden anymore, NDN dog barks continually and has free rein when no one is home. The second I open my door, he goes crazy.

Just constantly knock on your NDN door when they are back and complain about the noise, early morning, late at night just keep knocking until they take notice. Log the barking, write down times dates and duration etc. Pop it through their door and say if they don't sort it out you will report them. Say you will have to resort to ringing the dog warden etc/council. Why are some neighbours so unbelievably selfish? 😡 you don't have to go through with reporting them - the threat may be enough. Honestly I'd be knocking with - 'right, I've had enough of this now.....etc etc'. Don't be nice and considerate about it - they aren't

Livelovebehappy · 21/06/2026 21:31

eastegg · 21/06/2026 16:26

OP didn’t complain about the dog barking.

And i didnt tefer to OP. I was referencing other posters jumping on here unhappy with dogs barking, period.

Livelovebehappy · 21/06/2026 21:36

Pallisers · 21/06/2026 16:23

I think you missed the point of the OP. She wasn't complaining about a dog barking. She was flabbergasted that her neighbour expected her not to sit where she wanted in her own garden so that HE wouldn't have to listen to his own dog barking. Weird is right.

No. I think you missed the point of my post. It was referencing other posters. Not op.....

CrayonCritic · 21/06/2026 22:04

Or he could have just taken his dog in in the first place, giving YOU the chance to “return the favour” someday (or every day you put up with his kids noise). What an entitled idiot. That’s men for you.

iwishtoo · 21/06/2026 22:05

YourShyLion · 21/06/2026 15:54

I don't understand why you couldn't just move up the garden a bit. It seems very petty, unhelpful and downright rude not to.

@YourShyLion Do you have a dog that barks by any chance?

Pallisers · 21/06/2026 22:58

Livelovebehappy · 21/06/2026 21:36

No. I think you missed the point of my post. It was referencing other posters. Not op.....

You could have made that a lot clearer in your post.

CelestialCandyfloss · 21/06/2026 23:00

Tell him when the dog starts paying your mortgage you'll start doing as he demands of you 🤣😒

OneZippyRobin · 22/06/2026 06:00

OtterLovesItsRock · 19/06/2026 21:19

Why did he not introduce the dog and you to each other and explain to the dog that you are a friend of the pack?

Stupid man.

Why would you want to be introduced to a dog , uuugh

Motnight · 22/06/2026 08:47

This is still going on?!

Just a few points of clarification.

I have a bench at the bottom of the garden, I can't move it even if I wanted to.

I have no interest in meeting the dog. None whatsoever. If I wanted to meet dogs I'd get my own.

I don't think that the neighbour was being threatening in any way when he said that he would return the favour, I think that he was being rather toddler like to be honest.

Strangely enough and I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but the neighbour / children / dog have been pretty quiet over the last couple of days.

OP posts:
FWC2026 · 22/06/2026 09:02

UncannyFanny · 21/06/2026 18:03

See I’m on the other side of the fence. Or hedge to be precise. My dog didn’t bark until the pillock who moved next door hacked so much off the hedge that you can now see straight through it and I have no privacy whatsoever. Now every time they walk up and down their garden my dog thinks they are doling into my property and she barks. Because they hacked the boundary to fuck and you can see straight through it..

Put up a fence.

Dalston · 22/06/2026 09:05

Motnight · 19/06/2026 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

Oh wow I think male entitlement has just reached a new level. What an absolute cheek. I’m glad you didn’t move. He needs to train his dog.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:05

Motnight · 22/06/2026 08:47

This is still going on?!

Just a few points of clarification.

I have a bench at the bottom of the garden, I can't move it even if I wanted to.

I have no interest in meeting the dog. None whatsoever. If I wanted to meet dogs I'd get my own.

I don't think that the neighbour was being threatening in any way when he said that he would return the favour, I think that he was being rather toddler like to be honest.

Strangely enough and I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but the neighbour / children / dog have been pretty quiet over the last couple of days.

It is not about you as an individual wanting to meet a dog.

It is about effective communication to obtain the result you want.

The pack animal could have been helped to understand you are no threat.

Or it could be bullied and put away for not being a robot with an off switch.

Have we lost any idea of how to coexist except by dominance and individualism?!

FWC2026 · 22/06/2026 09:06

Motnight · 22/06/2026 08:47

This is still going on?!

Just a few points of clarification.

I have a bench at the bottom of the garden, I can't move it even if I wanted to.

I have no interest in meeting the dog. None whatsoever. If I wanted to meet dogs I'd get my own.

I don't think that the neighbour was being threatening in any way when he said that he would return the favour, I think that he was being rather toddler like to be honest.

Strangely enough and I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but the neighbour / children / dog have been pretty quiet over the last couple of days.

Long may it last!

but popping around fir 5 minutes to allow the dog to 'meet' you is hardly the same as having your own dog 🙄🙄 but no you're not obliged to take 5 minutes to make life better for all concerned.

Motnight · 22/06/2026 09:15

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:05

It is not about you as an individual wanting to meet a dog.

It is about effective communication to obtain the result you want.

The pack animal could have been helped to understand you are no threat.

Or it could be bullied and put away for not being a robot with an off switch.

Have we lost any idea of how to coexist except by dominance and individualism?!

I got the result that I wanted, albeit the neighbour was stroppy. If it's such a reasonable Idea to meet the dog why hasn't the dog owner suggested it? As opposed to asking me to move away from the bottom of the garden?

OP posts:
BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:19

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:05

It is not about you as an individual wanting to meet a dog.

It is about effective communication to obtain the result you want.

The pack animal could have been helped to understand you are no threat.

Or it could be bullied and put away for not being a robot with an off switch.

Have we lost any idea of how to coexist except by dominance and individualism?!

Pander to a domestic pet?

I think not.

Leave the stupid thing inside.

Oldmamabear · 22/06/2026 09:25

My dog barks at anything he hears over fence because thats the nature of dogs but if he doesnt stop when told to back indoors he goes cos Noone wants to hear that and everyone has the right to enjoy their own space without other humans or dogs ruining it for them. You should absolutely not move in your garden because the problem is situated in their garden. I'd tell him that next time. X

Qb2654 · 22/06/2026 09:27

Your neighbour is a CF. My dog can bark when he thinks the neighbour's cat is in the garden, my dog is a knob. The moment he barks he gets taken straight in.

OtterLovesItsRock · 22/06/2026 09:42

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:19

Pander to a domestic pet?

I think not.

Leave the stupid thing inside.

Explain in terms it can understand.

Not lock it like a Victorian child in a disappointment room.

BelieveInCher · 22/06/2026 09:43

BlueFahrenheit · 22/06/2026 09:19

Pander to a domestic pet?

I think not.

Leave the stupid thing inside.

Honestly these dog threads are getting more and more bizarre over time. Have people lost all sense of perspective? I am not prepared to make nice with a dog to get it to behave. That is the responsibility of its owner-not me. It really is pandering, it’s pathetic. If people stopped treating them like babies and started treating them like dogs again the world would be a much better place.