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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to move in my garden so that a neighbour's dog stops barking?

93 replies

Motnight · Today 15:58

I'm fairly certain I am not but my neighbour's attitude has made me wonder.

Earlier today, just after 7 am, I was sitting at the bottom of my garden on the bench drinking tea and just listening to the birds and looking at my flower bed. Our garden is that of a typical London Victorian terrace, surrounded on 3 sides by other gardens. I was probably 2 feet away from the fence separating our garden from opposite neighbours.

The neighbour's kids were out playing, Not particularly loudly but I could here them (I often do and it's not a problem at all, we are all living in close proximity, that's part and parcel of it). Suddenly their dog starts barking very loudly. It goes on for a couple of minutes. I then hear a male voice saying "is there anyone there?". I say, yes, your neighbour, hi (we've never spoken before). The man then says my dog is barking at you. He knows you are there. I don't know what to say so say nothing. The man adds can you move further up your garden please so my dog stops barking. I say, sorry, what did you say as I can't quite believe he is asking me to move. I have been completely quiet, minding my own business and just enjoying my garden. He repeats it. I say no, I am having my tea (!). He says, but your garden is as long as ours, there must be space for you to sit elsewhere, and if you don't move we will have to take the dog in. I reply, look I am sitting in my garden and I am going to stay here for as long as I want.

The man sighs loudly and says thank you for nothing, I'll return the favour some day. I hear a bit of rustling and muttering and then silence. Kids and dog and man have obviously gone back into the house. And I am left thinking WTF.

OP posts:
WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · Today 16:00

That man needs to train his dog!

Gardenisablooming · Today 16:02

We have new ndn with 2 barking bastards. She tells them to be quiet in a simpering voice. Honestly some people should not be allowed to keep ddogs.
We have 2. 1 doesn't bother at all. 1 is a dpuppy and reacts maybe once a week.. Expect that to be never soon.

Theirs barks 24 /7 even when they are home. Twats must be deaf.
Keep enjoying your mornings op.

IsawwhatIsaw · Today 16:04

Unbelievable entitlement! What a cheek to ask you to move

user1471538275 · Today 16:04

You were not the problem.

The dog was the problem.(and its owner)

So the dog needed to move (or be trained)

As to his threat of 'returning the favour some day', I would be noting that down - in fact if there are any other issues it might be worth recording them if he's going to be like that.

Whinge · Today 16:11

YANBU. Please continue to enjoy your tea wherever you want.

Unfortunately there are a lot of dog owners who refuse to accept that their animal is a problem. If you start to change your behaviour to accommodate the dog, I can guarantee there will be further ridiculous requests. The neighbour will prefer to intimidate you, than to sort out the dog's poor behaviour.

bignewprinz · Today 16:12

Well done, you handled that perfectly.

(edited to add: I am not being sarcastic, the man is a twat)

JustaDream · Today 16:12

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Itsasecretnow · Today 16:15

Just tell him to move his dog further up the garden if he doesn’t like it. And just have your phone to hand just in case you want to record anything he says.

Motnight · Today 16:18

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Yes. Why would I lie? It's hardly exciting stuff!!

OP posts:
JustaDream · Today 16:20

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Numbchill · Today 16:20

No human should ever have to do anything whatsoever to accommodate a dog.

offtodreamland · Today 16:20

If you'd complained about the dog barking and he'd apologised and suggested (politely) that if you could go back further from the fence the dog would stop barking, that would be reasonable, in my opinion. But as you hadn't said anything, he was thoroughly unreasonable to make it out to be your fault, ask you to move, and then be snippy when you refused.

henlake7 · Today 16:21

YANBU. Personally I love dogs and hate neighbours but even I know that its the dog owners responsibility to stop it barking!

Yellowpapersun · Today 16:22

What a bloody cheek! Who does he think he is? You are most definitely NOT being unreasonable.

Motnight · Today 16:23

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Well I am a cat person to be fair. But actually my post is about the neighbour's attitude not the dog or the children.

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · Today 16:24

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Oh, no one is hating the dog in this story.

JustaDream · Today 16:25

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brusselsprout5 · Today 16:25

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · Today 16:00

That man needs to train his dog!

The man needs training! Be polite to your neighbours. Let them enjoy their own garden in peace.

Motnight · Today 16:27

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Fair enough. I am not lying about what happened. You can believe or disbelieve 🤣

OP posts:
Callmeback · Today 16:28

I own a dog. If she barks at people from the garden she gets put inside the house. That man is a dick and you have every right to be in your garden.

B1anche · Today 16:29

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Oh FFS, there are many repeated themes on MN. It doesn't mean they are 'didn't happen'. You can't expect everyone's issues/problems to be completely unique.

TinyBlueDent · Today 16:30

Can you see through or over the fence? Is making friends with the dog a possibility, by giving it treats?

I did that with NDN's highly reactive dog, which barked at me whenever I was in the garden. Treats worked, except he then barked at me if I didn't give him a treat. I adjusted to a treat just at the weekend and now he knows he doesn't get a treat every time. If he hears me on the patio he comes to the fence and squeaks at me to say hello.

Easier if it's a next door neighbour though.

PrettyLittleRose · Today 16:30

Urgh, what an entitled shit he is! I would have stayed exactly where I was for as long as I was able to.

My neighbour has a yappy little fucking nippy kind of dog, and it's on the front lawn sometimes, and it barks at me when I am out there watering my flowers and plants out at the front. Comes up to the fence grizzling and growling and bearing its teeth. I ignore it and think 'fuck off you little cunt, I'm in MY garden!' Neighbour is usually around the side of their house, utterly oblivious to barky cunt snarling at me for NOTHING.

Last week when I was watering the flowers (in the front garden) with the hose (and the nozzle on sprinkle mode,) he jumped up the 3 ft high fence and was snarling at me, so I turned the hose on him. Soaked the little shit. He ran off squealing.

I'm not sorry, and I will do it again.

PeonyPanda · Today 16:32

New neighbours moved in. Apologised that their rescue dog is a barker. Then also bought chickens and a cockerel. So now we have a barking dog and noisy cockerel and it’s fine because ?!? It’s not fine… I am stunned by how selfish people are.

somewhereintheworld · Today 16:33

It's very difficult to stop a dog from barking in its own garden. They see it as their territory that must be protected. Mine barks a lot in our garden, but we always take her inside after a few minutes. You shouldn't have to move.