AIBU to wonder about a 'curfew' for 18-year-olds after clubbing?

[Letfree]

Okay, new to having adult kids, no previous experience.
I have twin daughters who have just completed Alevels. Turned 18 in April.
What time are 18 year olds meant to be home? They are going clubbing with their friends as an after exams celebration and want to return at 5am! They say the clubs don't open before 12 or close until 4am and they'll need to travel back. Is this normal? Did your 18yo have a curfew? Could they just come back home the next day?

Aibu to think they should be home by midnight?

Before Alevels, they came home by 10pm most nights. They'll be going to uni this year and can do what they like then.

My parents were immigrants so I had a totally different childhood from most. I had to be home by 9pm most nights and it didn't seem strange to me at the time. When i went to uni, I went out but didn't really enjoy it much. I don't feel i missed anything. When I returned home, I was still back by 9pm at the very latest every night.

I'm a single mom so don't have anyone to discuss this with. My girls and their friends are pretty good kids. I don't want to restrict them but I don't want to abandon them either. I won't be worried as such, just want to do the right thing. Please tell me what you do.

Good luck with that....they are adults!

This is a horrible attitude. I hate this "it's my home, my rules." Such a complete lack of respect for people you are supposed to love.

I agree so much with your last point.

Please don’t impose that strict curfew on them!!
My parents did this to me, I had to be home by 9pm on a weekday and 12am on a weekend. They continued to impose it when I came home in the breaks during summer and it was awful.

It also affected my friends enjoyment on evenings out as we were always worrying about time and had to go out much earlier than we actually wanted to because I had to be home early!!

If 5am is too late for you, maybe compromise on something like 2:30am so they still have time to enjoy themselves!

Drugs! That’s what she is saying isn’t it? That she takes drugs and doesn’t think people can stay up all night long clubbing if they don’t do it on drugs.

I have never tried any drug in my life (no judgement just wasnt my thing) and stayed out until 5,6,7,8,9,10am regularly in my youth! Drinking and dancing the whole way through. Think the dancing shook off the tiredness!

So did mine @MrsAlexKarevto the point that I left home very early and lived almost in poverty trying to pay my rent. When it went on the same everytime I went home for the weekend I stopped coming home often. I really wish it hadn't been like that, it felt like they were prepared to lose me rather that ease up on controlling me.

Ive also never done drugs in my life, but we would head to a bar for 11pm, walk over to the club about 12.30, then stay out until closing which could be 4am-6am depending on the club. And then we would grab a McDonald’s breakfast and either get a taxi or the first bus home. Sleep for 4 hours max abd then off for a full day of work. That was often 3/4 nights a week, more if a bank holiday etc.
I wouldn’t be able to do it now even if I wanted to.

No curfew here, I can track the phone though. They are right about clubs opening later x

Agree it’s a learning curve, but not one they should be at the beginning of. You’ve had 18 years to get them to a point where they can make their own decisions. What have you been doing?

My 18 year old just finished A levels daughter goes clubbing and comes back when she wants - which last week was just before 5. She knows to come in quietly. You can’t go clubbing and be back by midnight the club has only just opened.

I do expect her to let me know her vague plans - so I know she is going clubbing and won’t be back until late etc.

Neither have I. I am not the poster who says it’s not possible to stay up without taking drugs.