Home alone

[KillswitchMinge]

AIBU to leave my 16yo over night?

I'm dating and it's going well. I'd like to occasionally spend the night at his but I've never left DS before. He is sensible and I would be reachable on the phone.

I'm not ready for DS to meet him yet and I feel like it would be extremely awkward to bring him back to stay if DS is home even if nothing happened.

what do you mean, you send your child to work all alone?? 😁

My mother went on holiday for 2 weeks when I was 16 and left me at home, it was great!

Only after I’ve made sure he’s crossed the road safely 😆 After all, he’s only 24 and you can’t be too careful.

That's what it is though. It came across as if DC didn't know anything about the man. Seems unnecessary to leave him for that reason.

Why do you think it's unnecessary for women to have a sex life just because they happen to have an older teenage child?

Yes, my DD’s were left then periodically. You can leave home at 16!

Hardly appropriate or necessary to leave your child overnight for the first time purely to shag. I'm sure you've already commented saying you think it's OK though so no point going back and for again.

What would you deem "necessary"? You've not really explained what you mean or why it would be more acceptable for me to tell my son I intend to have sex when I'm out as opposed to just letting him know I'll be out with X and wil be back the following morning.

I'd have taken it on board if people were thinking a 16yo couldn't cope safely on their own but the fixation with my bedroom activitiy is a bit stupid.

I think it’s really pretty concerning if a 16-year-old can’t cope alone overnight. A 16-year-old is old enough to be doing an apprenticeship, joining the Army, having sexual relationships. There’s something badly wrong if they have to supervised overnight.

Why? What difference does it make? Why is a night with a boyfriend a less worthy reason than, eg, a spa trip with a friend or a work trip? He’s 16!! He’s old enough to be having a shag of his own FFS.

It doesn’t have to be ‘necessary’. Leaving a 16-year-old for a night isn’t some kind of desperate last resort that’s only permissible in dire circumstances. It’s not a big deal for a normal 16-year-old.

I'm about to go to the gym and leave DC all alone. It's not necessary as such, I won't immediately drop dead if I skip a day. I don't see why I should not do it though, as they can manage perfectly fine without me. Are we only allowed to leave capable children unsupervised if it's an absolute must?

You’re oddly obsessed with someone’s intimate life.
If you only leave your 16 year old alone with it absolutely necessary then you’re raising a babied teen who will struggle to cope when in a year and half they will be a full legal adult.

People replied to my comments repeatedly carrying it on back and for.

Something unavoidable. You are obviously going to do it regardless so seems a bit pointless going back and for.

You seem rather over-invested in the OP's romantic relationship. You're the one who keeps insisting on going back and forth in this thread.

Your attitude is hilarious, her son is old enough to have sex himself, why are you so worried about this ladies sex life. I'm a single parent and waited until my children were a certain age to date and it's quite liberating when they are old enough to be left alone for an evening, overnight, a weekend etc. Why don't you concentrate on being more empathic and worrying about your own weekend shenanigans.

Left DD for the first time at 16.

She has ASD (High Functioning) and anxiety, bit was fine. In fact she loved the solitude.

Yes completely reasonable. Until very recently you could get married in the uk at 16!

you would only be away from your almost adult children if it is absolutely unavoidable?

We left our now 16 year old at home for a week in April - entirely her choice - and we're sodding off again for 10 days at the beginning of July. Again, her choice. She turns 17 in August, and has no desire to go on holiday with Mum and Dad - she'd rather stay home and hang out with her mates.

Nope, I gave my opinion. People then chose to keep repeatedly going back and for questioning it.

How far away is it?
And how safe is your area?

I left my DC at that age.

I started going out later in the evening so they were used to it but always came home, I just made it later and later.

Then I stayed overnight but had someone on standby just in case and I wasn’t drinking so could come home.

After a couple of times, I stopped worrying and allowed myself a drink etc (always had someone they could call in an emergency just in case).

As long as you live in a safe area and they’re sensible, then it’s fine.

There’s never been any issues.

16 is fine to leave overnight as long as he is ok with that.

I also think it’s really important to do things like this, not just for yourself but for your DC too.

Kids these days have a lot of anxiety and are very reliant on others.

I think giving them some independence is one of the best things you can do.

No, you gave your opinion and other people gave theirs. You are the one who is choosing to go back and forth repeatedly. You've posted more than anyone else on this thread.