Home alone

[KillswitchMinge]

AIBU to leave my 16yo over night?

I'm dating and it's going well. I'd like to occasionally spend the night at his but I've never left DS before. He is sensible and I would be reachable on the phone.

I'm not ready for DS to meet him yet and I feel like it would be extremely awkward to bring him back to stay if DS is home even if nothing happened.

Of course it’s fine - he’s 16 not 6

FFs he is old enough to marry here in Scotland or join the military. What the hell is wrong with some parents?

Bloody hell, he’s 16 years old not 16 months. I was picking my younger sister up from school, walking the dog and cooking the family dinner at 12 years old. My mum didn’t get back from work until 8pm and dad was forces so not always home.

It’s not a badge of honour to have raised a child who is still utterly dependent on mummy at 16 unless additional needs are involved.

DS was very sensible and I would have had no qualms about leaving him home at that age. Go any enjoy yourself OP.

Same, I think it's fine. i was left alone at that age, and before mobile phones. a 16 year old could be a parent themselves.

I agree with this.

It's just off. She knows it's off really as she mentioned having to lie to DC about it, surely you wouldn't relax knowing you'd left DC for the first time just to go for a shagging session.

It’s not young - he’ll be considered a fully independent adult in two years, if he can’t cope overnight on his own now then something has gone horribly wrong.

It's one night, of course he will be fine. Myself and DH are leaving our 14, 16 and just turned 18 year old for 8 nights in July. They have no problem with this and I know they will be fine. Grandparents live 5 minutes walk from us and BIL said he will check in on them.

I think it completely depends on the 16 year old

First time I left my DS overnight was for a 'shagging session' (aka staying the night at my boyfriend's place) and I did not feel 'off' in the least. DS was fine, I had a lovely night and I did it every Friday for about a year until he moved in with us. DS loved his friday nights at home alone. The idea of me having a 'shagging session' probably didn't enter his mind and if it did, it didn't bother him enough to want me to stay home. He's a perfectly well adjusted 18 year old now if that reassures you?

Every Friday night 😳😳

At 16 he can move out and get his own flat if he wants!

I can't believe so many of the early comments are so against it. He'll be fine for a night!

Yes! He had pizza and ice cream and played playstation until 2am without worrying about disturbing my sleep. Sometimes he would have a friend sleepover, usually not.
Raising teenagers to become competent and thoughtful adults involves encouraging them to be independent and also to understand that their mothers are humans with their own lives and needs.

Im not saying that 16 is too young to be left alone overnight, if you’re happy to take the risk of coming back to your house having been trashed from a party, but if you seriously think a 16 year old isn’t going to assume that you’ve spent the night shagging your boyfriend, you’re very naive!

Disappearing every single Friday all night purely for a shag is shocking 😳

spending one night per week with your boyfriend is "shocking"? OMG pre-marital relations, you hussy!!

Plenty of couples will disappear from their teenagers to shag in their bedroom on a Friday night? What’s your point?
Adults have sex, the horror.

Of course you can leave him! Many of us were left for a week at that age, long before mobile phones. He's 16 - he'll love it.

Shagging in a room close to your teenager's room is another debate.

So you think after someone has child, from having sex, they aren’t allowed to have sex in the same house as their children but nor are they allowed to do it elsewhere, even when the child is almost an adult?
Interesting.

The shagging while teenagers are in the house thing is a different debate as some will say they wait until early hours or early morning, some oddly don't care and do it while they're awake etc there are variables. Leaving a DC for the first time for a shag is off yes and leaving them every week for a shag is also off.

How is it off though?

I’m really surprised at these replies. I left home at 16 and was living independently at that age! He’s almost an adult, a bit of independence could be good for him.

I say go and enjoy your night x

My brother was left at home alone for several nights from the age of 14. My Dad worked in Barrow so usually in the summer for a week we would travel up with him and Muk would take us out while he worked. For some reason my brother suddenly decided be didn't like holidays and didn't want to come so we left grumpy guts at home and had a week of Mother/daughter time.

He's never had or wanted a party at our house because he couldn't be arsed with the clean up. And my point is I don't actually care if he thought about the fact that I would be shagging. Adults have partners sometimes and shagging is often involved. It's really none of his business. And like I said, he's perfectly well adjusted so the odd fleeting thought about his mum's sex life hasn't caused any psychological damage.