Not all men, but always men

[Amodernhistory]

Driving home from work tonight to the main news stories on the radio being 1) man tortures adopted baby to death and 2) man arrested after child ends up in crocodile enclosure at zoo.

I am absolutely sick of the daily onslaught of problematic men, monsters, committing outrages. That’s all, no suggestions, just AIBU to be sickened by this constant stream of beasts who live amongst us (Gisele Pelicot’s husband, recent terrorist attacks, daily murders of women by men) combined with personal experiences of men who ‘you wouldn’t have thought it to look at him’ turning out to be sex pests and paedophiles is putting me right off them as a sex class. Not your man, not your son, not my (lovely) Dad, but all the other men… how do we know which ones?

Its hard not to conclude it’s a man problem.

Yes, you are right. I apologise.

But you wouldn’t take the risks of travelling alone in some countries as a woman ? Why is that ?

Yes, this happened in the next village: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-36417415

If you got rid of every non white person from the uk there would still be rapists and peados. Have you forgotten the scandals of the 70’s?

I don't think the poster you quoted deserved that response. They were just stating an opinion as you were.

I heard this story today without any details of the perpetrator. At no point did I think it could be a woman. I cannot imagine what the mother of that poor child is going through right now.

Look how far back you needed to go for those examples...

Not all men, but nearly always men.

I really hope the two men who sexually abused and tortured their 13-month-old adoptive son to death are on the receiving end of some prison justice.
Every day, for the whole of their sentences.

This is absolute nonsense.

I wouldn’t travel to many countries as a lone woman and unfortunately, irrespective of skin colour there are certain cultures where violence and misogyny are the norm (not the exception) against women. Covering up to stop these men assaulting you is the minimum expectation.

Iraqs age of consent is 9yo. These men are going to have far more warped views of what is acceptable behaviour against women and girls.

So many people fear being called racist when let’s be honest, there are so many countries you daren’t go alone as a woman and the men that inhabit them are the issue.

And do you know what? I'm starting to feel pretty resentful. Imagine how much better all our lives would be if we could invest the time, energy and money we spend managing men's shitty behaviour, and the consequences of it, on social care, health and education. Obviously the individual impact is important, all the women harmed and terrorised by these losers, but at a societal level, we would all be so much better off. Including these total duds.

Even if there are a handful of dreadfully wicked women who perpetrate horrific crimes, the fact is the vast majority are committed by men. Why do some women fall over themsleves to deny that? It's bad enough when men do it.

That’s not true. Fathers murder at roughly double the rate of mothers.

I can't argue with you because statistically it is usually men.

But I think threads like this are really unhelpful.
Society has to learn how to limit the excesses of men - whether it's through education or punishment or oversight, whatever, I don't know how. But just demonising them doesn't help that conversation at all - it almost justifies to some men that they are demons therefore what's the point of fighting it.

I spend my working life as a journalist in courtrooms. In more than two decades in this job I’ve seen two women convicted of sexual offences against children and a very small handful of other physical abuse.

By contrast, there are at least 5 men in just my courthouse every single day convicted of sexual offences motivated by a sexual interest in children. 99 per cent of those are white men. If anything, ‘people from other cultures’ (whatever that means) are hugely under-represented per head of population.

I’ve only seen one asylum seeker convicted of sexual offences against children. He was 17, had extremely severe mental health problems and had been trafficked from Afghanistan.

The problem, in the main, is white British men and to a lesser extent white Eastern European men. Men with black or brown faces don’t even make a ripple in my court room.

Another 6 men were sentenced in Nottingham today for their crimes as a grooming gang. Men in their early 20's abusing young teen girls 😡

Yes, am absolutely resentful. So much attention and effort at managing these males, hugely out of proportion the societal effort at managing females.

I was being facetious because that's the usual response to posts on male violence. Didn't land, clearly.

I wish I could edit my post! Ignore it.

So a thread about enduring male depravity quickly becomes one about female criminality. No wonder men get away with shit when so many people are willing to obfuscate the reality with this ridiculous whataboutery.

I do despair and worry sometimes at the amount of young boys (12+) that i teach/come into contact with through work that range from using derogatory language about girls and women, all the way up to aggressive and violent tendencies towards females. They see girls/women as objects to be owned.

It is 100% getting worse. When I first started teaching 15+ years ago I never heard anything like it. Sexist comments yes (not excusing this either) but it was more "bantery" (again not excusing this either!!) But the tone is just different now.

Also, the things I am having to discuss with my 12 year old daughter because the boys in her class know way too much and are inappropriate is horrendous...they are way too sexualised already.

Awful. Just awful.

Yes they were monsters...however on the scale of atrocities towards children and women, men of all cultures are pretty much off the scale and it is not getting better.

Some of the comments on this thread illustrate the constant gaslighting when it comes to male violence and the unwillingness to admit that there is a real problem with toxic masculinity.

Instead we get the usual ''not all men'' and ''women are just as bad'' nonsense.

I am really fed up with this.

Everyday we hear about men abusing and/or killing women and kids and generally displaying violent and anti social behaviour in society while the police and criminal justice system often fails to take rape and domestic violence seriously.

So yes there is a problem with men's behaviour.

Stats show they commit the majority of crimes, especially when it comes to violent and sexual offences. That's just a fact and no amount of denial is going to change that.

Just report it and get MN to remove it as no one’s reading the full thread and keeps qt’ing you

For violent crime UK data also shows that perpetrators are predominantly male, though the proportion varies by offence type.
The latest available analysis from the UK Office for National Statistics found that perpetrators were male in roughly three-quarters to four-fifths of violent incidents reported by victims. In different survey years, the figure ranged from 74% to 82% of violent offences.

In very broad terms:

• Violent crime overall: ~75–80% male perpetrators.
• Sexual offences: overwhelmingly male perpetrators (typically 90%+ in offender data).
• Violence against women and girls: predominantly male perpetrators.
• Child sexual abuse: overwhelmingly male perpetrators. (ONS data shows 91% of victims reporting male-only perpetrators.)
• Child neglect and some family abuse: more mixed, with both male and female perpetrators represented.

Of course, not all men and not always men. But statistically far more likely.

Rochdale paedophile ring. 61men involved - three were white. And where child abuse is concerned it’s statistically proven that women - mothers - are largely the culprits because they are the care givers. Sexual abuse is not the only form of abuse. Non related men joining the family unit is where men represent the biggest threat. Do you not think that women are at least some way to blame for that by putting their need for a dick before their children ?

Women are more intelligent and get away with their crimes?

Yes not all men but always men. It’s enough to put you right off.