Not all men, but always men

[Amodernhistory]

Driving home from work tonight to the main news stories on the radio being 1) man tortures adopted baby to death and 2) man arrested after child ends up in crocodile enclosure at zoo.

I am absolutely sick of the daily onslaught of problematic men, monsters, committing outrages. That’s all, no suggestions, just AIBU to be sickened by this constant stream of beasts who live amongst us (Gisele Pelicot’s husband, recent terrorist attacks, daily murders of women by men) combined with personal experiences of men who ‘you wouldn’t have thought it to look at him’ turning out to be sex pests and paedophiles is putting me right off them as a sex class. Not your man, not your son, not my (lovely) Dad, but all the other men… how do we know which ones?

Its hard not to conclude it’s a man problem.

She was a sleep consultant, so she's probsbly heard similar from hundreds of parents at the end of their rope when their baby isn't sleeping and never imagined for 1 minute her own brother could do something so evil. Nobody could imagine that, so let's not blame a woman here.

Men are more likely to murder other men’s children. Brought into the home by women. That part is true.

I am not blaming her. But I had 2 non sleeping babies, and can't ever imagine saying " He's dead meat today" to anyone.

96% of the prison population are men. Women prisoners are also far less likely to have committed violent crimes compared to men.

Oh take a day off. British men are shits.

not quite…there are around 110 male prisons in England and wales. Just 11 for women.

No - men.

Culture is important.

This is why for example Japan has female only trains due to issues with the native men upskirting, sexually assaulting and raping the women.

Being aware is not bashing. Being aware is being risk averse as a woman based on stats.

My issue is if we have a VAWG and misogynistic problem then we should probably be aware of importing more of it.

…Men though, right?

It's pure entitlement, socialised into them from a young age, and acceptance of that entitlement is socialised into girls.

And every single mother and father out there has the power to stop that, it's just a long and slow process.

Male entitlement is why even wonderful adorable men like my husband and son are sometimes twattishly lazy - and why really horrible men are violent and rapey.

@Amodernhistory It is very, very much, by a huge majority, largely men committing violent crime and largely men receiving whole life orders for acts of absolute depravity.

I'm a man, and I agree that your statement is 100% correct. As you said, almost every violent crime and depraved act is committed by a man. It is very rare and unusual for women to commit similar crimes.

The part that everyone overlooks though, and which everyone refuses to discuss, is why these violent and depraved men have no difficulty finding partners or relationships. Ian Watkins and Ian Huntley were both swamped with love letters in prison. What's that about, and why is that not being addressed?

It would be nice if we could avoid twisting this right away into a whole other debate. It detracts from the OP’s point, which is that it is MEN ( not all men) as opposed to women. I agree with the OP, and I feel it’s important to keep that focus.

I presume PP was addressing the clear inaccuracy in the thread title - as it is indeed far more often men who commit these kinds of crimes; but it patently isn't always men, as claimed. It weakens the point being made when people deliberately choose sensationalist hyperbole over the facts, which are already appalling enough.

Even in the horrific case of the vile monsters who abused and murdered little Preston, as cited in the OP, Preston's mum is a violent murderer too.

Ok? Go and start your own thread about violent women then.

Agree with the OP. But I also agree with the poster arguing that sexual harassment is worse from men (it’s always men!) from some other cultures. I can’t stand having to pretend this isn’t true. I don’t want it to be true, as a liberal Londoner, and I hate all the Reform people. But I grew up in London and as a teenager circa 2005 and yes it was predominantly non-white, newly arrived, MEN who would be sexually threatening and we all knew to be wary of. Why is it hushed up so much. It seemed like there were a different set of rules for them and they could get away with being abusive as we didn’t know how to call it out or were just very used to it. But it was hard to deal with as a young female. It would happen anywhere, the park, on the tube, the bus stop. And I don’t think anything’s changed.

61. There are on average c.7000 convictions a year for CSA.

96% of the prison population is male. Just dwell on that.

I hope you're ok. It is really hard recording this kind of thing for work. Whenever I have needed to cover sexual assault, child sexual assault, murder, horrendous death, ethnic cleansing etc it has really affected me after I have gone home and tried to decompress from the trauma. It never hits at work (except Beslan which left me sobbing in a corner). I always hits later when I'm trying to sleep or make sense of the fucked up world we live in.

I hope you are getting the mental health support you need xx

Yep. The news broke of an elderly lady found dead here in Ireland. A man 30’s arrested and charged. He didn’t only take her precious life, her tortured her in the most brutal way for a few euros.
I know that there are good men too but the constant news cycle of violence is disturbing. The drug epidemic is not helping the problem, something is going terribly wrong in society.

Women do murder, but for other reasons. Only men murder for sexual gratification. That poor wee boy.

Women may have murdered children out of desperation: no support, no money, domestic violence against her and or the children, at her wit's end and no help in sight. But this man killed this baby to

satisfy himself sexually

It's hard to even think that thought

but some posters say "women do it too". No, they don't do that. No they bloody don't.

Jesus, what a thread.
Yes more crimes of whatever nature are committed by men, no escaping it, it's true.
But do you really think creating a thread like this is really going to help matters. Instead of venting on here and whipping up a storm, why didn't you take that anger and write to your MP or something. The only way to achieve anything, is by working together, not causing further divides.
And just think of this, does anyone on here really know who's on here, how do you know that someone might be reading this thread, get wound up, then do something stupid, might sound extreme, but you just never know.

I can’t believe people are focusing on ‘always’ and the thread title and choosing to make their points about it not always being men. Absolute handmaidens.

The horrors of today’s case are unreal, inhumane, systematic torture of a baby, by a man, daily, for months.

Now I can’t spot the monsters, we as a society can’t spot them, there are so very many of them - but if it makes you feel better, ok it’s not always men. I mis-titled it and can’t edit it.

But Jesus Christ the monsters are largely men and you’re missing the point coming on here to say women can be monsters too. My point and my opinion is I am absolutely sick of hearing about these men. Look around you. Not just baby rapists, men killing women with crossbows (after raping them), men using power to abduct women, men killing kids in a dance class, men attempting to behead people, the Putney Pusher, thousands of child sexual abusers each year, paedophile rings, a woman killed every four days in the Uk by her partner…. all males.

I think men should be allowed express their feelings more. As I am getting older (mid 40s!), I am noticing just how alarmed people get if men are anyway stressed or angry. Everyone immediately reacts strongly. We wonder then why men aren't good at expressing their feelings. It would be great if men felt safe enough to express how they feel. It's ironic because there is a big push now by many men ensuring that women feel safe enough to express theirs. It would be good if men feel safe to express theirs too

I think men need to express their feelings a lot less!

Do you think they are driven to rape and murder by a lack of self expression?

Not all men, yes, and certainly not any of the men I know and love - but those coming back with ‘but women…’ are being deliberately disingenuous.

93% of murders world wide are committed by men and of the women, the majority of those are committed in concert with men and/or instigated by the male partner in crime. 99% of sexual crimes are committed by men. 65-70% of financial crime is also perpetrated by men.

To deny there is an issue with men means that you cannot have an honest, constructive conversation or explore and address the reasons why. We can’t change society, change the way we educate men, the way we raise our sons, without understanding this.

We have to stop trying to stymie the conversation with the ‘oh but not all men’ counter - despite it being blindingly bloody true - because it is only stated for fear of offending. And we need to do this, not least, because it is other men who are more likely to be their victims (in terms of murder, financial fraud, muggings, knife crime, gang related incidents etc). Sexual crime and DV obviously impacts women disproportionately. If we want to protect children, women AND other men [the ones who are ‘not like that’] - ie everyone in society - we need to be able to have this discussion.