DDs friends dad is a Prick

[Roadislikeabuildingsite]

Dd has a friend on the road who comes to stay regularly with her cousins and play, Dd plays with her but they have a love-hate relationship really. She’s the only child Ive seen Dd argue with, I’ve tried to cool things between them, but they still love to play together a lot of the times.
This friend often calls over the fence to Dd and vice versa to play. When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house, even though this child is the issue/hard work and the mum agrees, but she’s just a child
The other day, Dd heard her playing in the garden and called to ask if she was there and her dad loudly shouted back ‘No!’ and it all went quiet. Dd came inside a bit confused/upset

Was this a mean thing for him to do? What would you do?

Are there any other things (behaviours or ways he talks/shouts) that give you the impression he's a prick?

This one incident doesn't sound like prick behaviour but there's probably a lot more to why you feel that way? Is the daughter copying the dads behaviour? Is the Dad an arse otherwise?

So your dd interrupted them spending time together. This on top of all this fighting ? Good that he said no firmly. Sounds like they need time apart

You didn’t mention any laughing in your Op.
he said no, he’s entitled to. Maybe say no a bit more to your kid and she won’t be so upset hearing it.

Yeah I agree that to me it just seems like your daughter interrupted a father/daughter moment - she could hear them laughing and talking together. Sounds to me that he was just setting a boundary - he wasn’t answering the literal question of ‘are you there’ but the implied question of ‘are you available for me right now’.

Also, it’s not too comfortable shouting blindly over the fence, especially for adults.

Could he have been nicer? Probably, but your daughter could also be taught to read the room, even if the other girl also does it back.

Put it down as a teaching moment and move on.

Unbelievable 😂😂

Id tell him not to speak to your child like that again .
The other child probably has her dad's traits.

Yes Dh said this, it’s not her fault as she’s only a little girl, but she does say some awful, mean things

she does say some awful, mean things

So why are YOU not keeping your dd away from the fence when you know she is there? Then you wouldn't have a problem with her or her father.

My child had a friend next door also in class. Friend asked everyday to play . Her mum never said no you can’t so I ended up often letting her in. She was hard work and my child didn’t get on that well. On reflection it’s up to you to decide! Your child! My child was hardly ever asked back to there’s and I was a cheap babysitter I guess!

Happened again when I moved three kids next door always wanted to play. Mine went to there’s once. Often it’s a break for parents . If you dont like family put a trellis on the fence.

Shouting at your dd is one thing, laughing about it right after is another. It shows that it wasn't a snap in temper, which would have been bad enough, but rather deliberate.

He sounds nasty, regardless of if he is fed up of the fighting or not. It's not nice to keep them separate, but honestly I would keep my DD away from this girl if only to stay away from the dad. It doesn't sound like they get along great anyway, and I'd bet it's because this girl is being raised by an angry, snappy man and will therefore take on this behaviour.

With peace and love OP, I think you may be a little over invested in your DD’s relationship with this child. Your DC will meet adults who are less than charming and a bit brusque. I would take it as an opportunity to help her build some resilience and take a neutral stance.
“Oh well, never mind. She can’t play today. Let’s do something else”. You don’t want you DC seeing herself as a victim or stereotyping the Dad next door. Play it down, ignore it and don’t escalate it or let it get to you.

YANBU. The child’s father is undoubtedly a childish prick. I don’t know how anyone could think otherwise.

Why do people expend so much energy on speculating how people behave and what they should’ve, could’ve, would’ve done.

People do what they do, good, bad, ugly and everything in between.

I consider myself a nice, caring person. But I totally get that all sorts of people exist and I just try my hardest to steer clear and live a life of peace.

DDs friends dad is a prick and so be it. Don’t take it personally and protect your DD from such people. He most probably thinks the same about you. Who's right and who’s wrong?

Drip feed....

Yeah, he's a prick.
I would confront the dad!

It’s also still his child and he can make decisions. Maybe he shouldn’t have laughed. It’s tricky when children are just shouting over fences and ‘interrupting’ or just turn up at the door. Accept this behaviour isn’t always welcome.

Haven’t rtft fully and just to be devils advocate. My now grown up kids have all had a variety of friends, some I liked some I didn’t, also my kids can be dicks also. Are you sure your daughter is the nice one and the other girl is the one causing problems? My friends son used to think he was liked by everyone because there were no arguments, and in actually fact, the other kids just used to go along with what he said to keep the peace. Child was spoilt and could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes. Only when they got older did they start saying no to him because they didn’t want to be bossed around all the time, and suddenly to her, everyone else’s kids were the problem. Judging how you have answered ppl in this thread, I’d not be surprised if that is what happens, the apple falling not far from the tree and all.

First it went quiet. Now he laughed.

How do you know how it was said?! You weren’t there? Your daughter told you but it sounds like she’s quite young so can easily misinterpret tone?

It seems to me you do not want to hear people's truthful opinions.
You just want validation that your opinion is the one and only acceptable point of view.
You now clearly know that it is not.

I was in the garden at the door!

😂

Then it's off to the gallows with him.

Ooh, yes, OP, do this! And record it for us.