DDs friends dad is a Prick

[Roadislikeabuildingsite]

Dd has a friend on the road who comes to stay regularly with her cousins and play, Dd plays with her but they have a love-hate relationship really. She’s the only child Ive seen Dd argue with, I’ve tried to cool things between them, but they still love to play together a lot of the times.
This friend often calls over the fence to Dd and vice versa to play. When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house, even though this child is the issue/hard work and the mum agrees, but she’s just a child
The other day, Dd heard her playing in the garden and called to ask if she was there and her dad loudly shouted back ‘No!’ and it all went quiet. Dd came inside a bit confused/upset

Was this a mean thing for him to do? What would you do?

Well if it only happens when he's not there then he probably doesnt know about it, does he? It's still intrusive.

I suspect he is just irritated with the whole thing, they are visiting the little girl doesn’t live there, and he doesn’t want more drama and is teaching his daughter when they visit they visit. She doesn’t go off with the neighbours kid or invite her round. He probably laughed as he did it on reflex and was a bit embarassed.

either way the op needs to teach her daughter how to take no for an answer and not to shout over the fence.

You are taking the ‘no’ as an idiot to your dd.

he probably just doesn’t wanna deal with the two girls fighting and playing

Maybe he doesn't want another child there when family is there. Maybe he doesn't like your daughter. Maybe he gets sick of hearing the arguments/hearing his wife complain about them. Maybe they were in the middle of something. Maybe he thinks it's about time someone said no

Who knows. He doesn't owe your daughter an explanation. He doesn't owe her an invitation in. Saying no to a child is necessary sometimes. It doesn't make someone a dick.

No is a complete sentence, after all!

I really doubt that, as in your op you say both of them do it.

But you’ve already said

Dd can’t go to the house when he’s there

So she won’t be going anyway!

Sounds like answered the implied question of whether his daughter was available.
If he already had his sister and other family members there, it would be rude for the daughter to come round to play.
You don't know why he laughed, there were others present, maybe he was laughing at one of them.

You understand that you can say no to the other child too, right..?

But you first said

This friend often calls over the fence to Dd and vice versa to play.

It’s now gone from often to rarely 🤔

What does it matter if he’s being nasty? You know he’s being unkind so why dwell on it anymore? You also know this isn’t a great friendship so why not use this as a great opportunity to end it entirely!

Am I the only one worried about this man? Why aren't kids allowed to his house when he's there? He sounds abusive and controlling.

[quietly looking out in Active Conversations to see the thread from the parents of the "mean kid" to hear the other side of the story]

‘When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house’

Presumably because 1, it’s a family visit, and 2, he doesn’t want to deal with the inevitable drama that follows. Calling him controlling and absuive is a massive stretch here.

YABU - why was your DD asking if she was there if she clearly knew she was there (as you insist since your DD knew he was lying when he said no). Your child was the annoying one here.

😂there's always one.

Maybe, just maybe, he has a different version of who the "trouble" child is, and he is protecting his peace and his own child?

No! Not at all, not wanting arguing children in your home, does not make you abusive.

Is there anything a man can do means that sone people label him abusive and controlling.

They argue, the two of them together doesn’t bring out the best in his daughter together, OP had said the child is “awful”, why would you want a child in your house that’s going to create that behaviour in your child?

Link it here when you find it please!

I thought you said your DD wasn’t allowed over there when he’s there, so why are you asking this? He’s a not particularly polite man, with a daughter your child occasionally plays with at your house and at hers when he’s not there. He was rude to your daughter once by the sounds of it. Teach your daughter to be robust in the face of rude men, because her life will be full of them, but not to let that get in the way of the bigger picture, her friendship if it’s that meaningful for her. If you don’t want the friendship because of either his or the child’s behaviour, be a parent and nip it on the bud.

Why aren't kids allowed to his house when he's there?

It isn't his house. He and his dd are visiting. And the friend isn't allowed to op's house.

From op:

Dd has a friend on the road who comes to stay regularly with her cousins.... When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house

Perhaps he thinks that when his dd is visiting her cousins, it's rude of her to go off and play with some other child.

I’d be thankful the dad had put a stop to it. Who wants kids fighting. I don’t see him as a prick in the slightest

You only put that he laughed afterwards when you didn’t get the responses you wanted. He’s not a prick

From further post

Dd can’t go to the house when he’s there

Dear god. Talk about a mountain out of a molehill! Sounds like he’s solved the problem for you.

This tbh.
Yes, ok may the dad was rude in shouting "no" to a child over the fence but tbh OP I get the distinct impression that your painting your dd to be an angel and the other child to be awful in this post. It also reads like you have some issue with the family in general tbh given you also point out the auntie "owner of the house" what difference does that make to this post or situation?

There’s info missing from this story. The ‘prick’ dad has probably seen behaviour he doesn’t like. Maybe he’s also seen a change in his DDs behaviour and thinks it has something to do with your DD (and he could be right)

We had neighbours with smaller kids when ours were little always shouting for attention. It made being in the garden miserable and you could never get any quality family time. Not convinced this dad is a prick yet.