To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

How rude. I’d have had some cake, biscuits at least.

Yeah I think YABU. Pregnant or not, you were hardly being starved. You can go a few hours without food.

Yeah I'd have hoped they'd have had food but equally I never go empty handed so I'd also have brought something for everyone to have with a cuppa if it was offered.

If I have anyone visiting/ calling in I would always offer a sandwich,cake etc . That’s just normal hospitality!

I would have just politely asked for something.

It does seem odd but some people can be a bit thoughtless. Not deliberately so - but just not thinking about how far you had to travel to get there and back.

if I had someone coming over I would always offer them something. I this scenario it would have been afternoon tea - nothing major but a cake and maybe some fruit and cheese.

Usually if I visit someone to see their new place I would take a gift with me. Usually some flowers and an edible gift (cake, biscuits or something homemade and sweet) to share with them too. If you went empty handed, you were unreasonable also. That said, I always feed my guests!!

Yes, that’s not very hospitable. At my house you’d have been fed early, fed often, especially being pregnant and hungry, after you’d made the effort.

It doesn’t take much to offer round some biscuits, cake, toast, cheese, fruit or whatever.

I agree that it was rude not to offer even a few biscuits, slice of cake etc.

Did you take anything with you?Rude not to.

I disagree that you'd be starving to the point of nausea after such a short length of time, and who cares if you'd seen them in the pub?

The words mountain and molehill are coming into my mind.

It might be cultural. Tea and cake/biscuits does feel like a particularly British thing to me.

Snacking between meals definitely happens in the US, but perhaps more for children than adults?

If you struggle with hunger while pregnant then carry snacks with you, especially in the car

Ofcourse we brought something - a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates and a little plant!
But again, I was not expecting lunch...just snacks would be normal.

Tbh we actually didn't get offered the tea - the exact words were -do you maybe want a glass of water or a coffee - to which we responded - if you have tea that would be great.

cross posted

Yes, but you were only at their house for 2 hours. I might have offered a biscuit, but I definitely wouldn’t be surprised not to get one. Eating on the journey is up to you.

Wow...then it really is a cultural difference. I mean I have quite a few Italian friends, even if I come by for 15 mins to pick them up before going out they always try to convince me I must try whatever they just had for dinner (ofcourse there is more in the fridge) or I must take some home made cake for the trip lol

It's a bit odd they didn't offer a biscuit but they hadn't said lunch/dinner so I would have assumed you'd eaten before you got there. If you really can't get through 2 hours without stealing food, then you should have taken something with you.

They may have been having such a good chat they forgot and we may soon see a thread ‘aibu to be freaking out that I didn’t offer pregnant friend food?’!!

If you were popping round from next door for a couple of hours maybe I wouldn't offer food, although I'd probably have a plate of fruit and biscuits on the table even then. But if I knew you'd driven over an hour, definitely I'd have cheese platter and sweet treats or similar on offer. It might be a lack of experience on their part. How old are they? Some of my younger cousins are not great hosts I've noticed.

Very rude OP, yanbu.

I have snacks in the car but after 4 hours without eating (at the point we headed home) I did need more - hence topping up.

30s

4 hours is a normal amount of time to not eat in the afternoon. But in any event, you did eat, you stole food from the hosts house. Why didn’t you just explain you were struggling with nausea and do they have any biscuits or crackers?

Living in the U.S. biscuits with tea isn’t really a thing here but I would have had at least some fruit cheese and crackers if people were coming over

@bridgetreilly please learn some manners on how you treat guests. 2 hours is very long especially when chatting, i don’t know if it’s me, but socialising usually makes me feel quite peckish. My culture, even if you came for half an hour 100% would lay out some snacks. It was so rude of them to not offer even just biscuits

You cannot disagree with a fact or something that had already happened. If I was actually starving after 4 hours (2 driving and 2 spent at their house) and felt nauseous - it is just a plain fact and not something you get to agree or disagree with :)