To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

It really isn’t. Like I say, I’d offer you a biscuit if there was one in the house, but more than that is absolute overkill. A cheese platter? For someone coming over for a chat and a cuppa? Nope.

It really isn’t - stop making it seem like it is. I am NA and have lived here for a long and have been to many peoples houses and haven’t been offered anything but a drink in a similar situation - or been offered a real drink when pregnant (which was a cultural difference for me!!!)

I always offer some sort of snack. You being pregnant means you should have snacks on you.

Whatever

Agree with the mountain and molehill interpretation. I mean, they’re not responsible for your food arrangements on your route to see them, and by timing the visit for early afternoon, they were making it clear they weren’t offering lunch or dinner.

It’s way odder that you stole crackers en route to the loo rather than asking for food of you were faint with hunger.

I know a few Irish folk like that. I find it really weird and sometimes quite uncomfortable, with the pressure to eat when I really don’t want to.

Because frankly I thought they are about to offer something any minute and felt it would be rude to rush anything. And as 2 hour mark was approaching with all of us sitting they with empty cups for almost an hour I realised it is probably a cue for us to pack up lol.

Yeah totally right. American adults don’t snack. 🤦‍♀️

I think they were really rude. If I invite people over for a few hours, even if between meals, and especially if they'd travelled for 2 hours, I'd make a cake and biscuits, and put out some crisps and nuts too.
I simply couldn't just give them a drink and no food.

Americans are usually generous hosts and there is the Scandinavian FIKA - a tradition of coffee and cake/biscuits. My Swedish MIL said she was brought up to believe you offered a selection a 5 mini cakey/biscuits bits. Very odd. Did they forget your were coming.

I would have offered you some cake or biscuits etc. I think this is a normal level of hospitality for someone visiting for a couple of hours in the afternoon.

But I wouldn't really bat an eyelid if I visited someone else and they just offered me a drink.

It definitely wouldn't occur to me that someone would find it difficult to go for a couple of hours without food. That's quite surprising to me, personally.

Nope, we exchanged texts in the morning all confirming how we are all looking forward to seeing eachother...

I think, if you can't go more than a couple of hours without food then maybe carry snacks with you. It wouldn't occur to me to offer food for a 2 hour visit..coffee is about the norm. Not everyone is a snacker.

It depends on the time surely? If you arrived just after they’d had their lunch it probably wouldn’t occur to them to produce a load of food.

Are you hard of thinking? The hosts knew they had a minimum 1.5 hours trip each way. So not a question of “can’t get through two hours” 🙄

maybe im a terrible host but i wouldn’t automatically think that someone would require food for a 2 hour visit.

I don't have biscuits in the house, last time I prepped for visitors, e g buying 3 different types of juice, as they were bringing their 4 kids, and buying snacks factoring in one food intolerance, one food allergy and one toddler, they text half an hour before and said they couldn't come as they all had Covid. Must have been very fast working Covid as they were fine a couple of hours before and FB would suggest a miraculous recovery later that day. Still holding a grudge about it for now so no one is getting a biscuit until my pissed off levels reduce 😆.

Neither DH or I eat biscuits or kids juice so ended up donating it all to the staff in the local care home.

Oh god I can remember that pregnancy hunger so clearly - and that sickness feeling if you hadn’t eaten.

Yanbu at all.

Do they know you’re pregnant? I’m assuming so.

I would offer any guests something, but if I knew you were pregnant I would make sure you were looked after. There’d definitely be something savoury on offer as well as cake or biscuits with the tea, because I remember that when you’re pregnant sometimes it really has to be savoury.

I think I’d have been asking if they had any toast and marmite or something and never mind what they though!

Edit - just remembered they’re not British so maybe not marmite but something else that answers that salt/ savoury need when you’re feel really hungry or nauseous or both (as in your case).

Snacks are for small children. What on earth are you on about OP 😂

Noone is mentioning load of food.
Secondly while it may have been too soon after lunch for them, they are aware we travelled to see them - so definitely not just after lunch for us.
When hosting, usually you tailor that towards guests' needs not to yours. At least I do...

She’s pregnant! When you’re pregnant you need regular savoury snacks of some sort!

Tea and biscuits of cake is normal hospitality for an afternoon visit, but not everyone adheres to this.

I guess someone who hasn’t experienced nausea when their stomach is empty during pregnancy wouldn’t realise that the OP really might need something - there are posters on here who evidently don’t. Tbh OP I think you should have said something, and certainly not worried about whether your friends might turn up in a pub if you’d eaten locally after you left.

Or something like ginger biscuits IME.

I think it’s very strange not to have offered anything. The host has clearly never been pregnant so has no idea what it can be like to be nauseous with hunger when pregnant. She’ll probably realise when she’s pregnant in time to come and will be mortified!

They travelled there. The hosts know how far. Oh COURSE they should be offered some cake / nibbles. I would always do that.

Small children and many pregnant women.