To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

YANBU op. So they invited you to what??? Tour their new home whilst complimenting them on how lovely it is and drink one miserable cup of tea? Yikes that is not worth driving 2 hrs for!
I don't snack but sliced fruit or cheese or popcorn granola bar something would be offered if you showed up unexpectedly. You would be given a water without asking…don’t drink it fine but everyone does. And by offered I mean taken out /sliced/ plated
and placed within reach.

if I invited you and you drove 2 hrs and were pregnant or had dc with you…yes multiple
snack choices while we sit and visit. Planned hosting for a planned visit.

everyone I visit always offers something and I always say oh a water please. This way I am accepting the hostess’ offer but keeping it simple. And of course I do drink the water. I visit a 87 y.o woman on oxygen and she immediately…you thirsty/ hungry? Yes I’ll
take some water.

I find it very unusual..young? Inexperienced?
disordered eating? do not want the house messy or dishes dirty? Not sure the reason.

You should have been offered crisp/cakes/biscuits and sort of hearty snack i.e. little tapas bites or something

Wth

When i was pregnant and nauseous i never went anywhere without a snack in my bag.

I would have expected them to offer biscuit or cake or something even if you were only there a couple of hours, especially as you had a long drive for a short visit.

It was weird of you to veto the pub in case they went there!

I completely agree. It's simple hosting manners.

American here. We don't generally think to include snacks with coffee or tea, especially if it's only two hours. We wouldn't think to offer cake or biscuits. We do go out of our way if it's a full meal, which is a lot more common for visiting guests. They weren't being rude, our cultures are just different.

Canadian here.
You're my friend and you're pregnant.
You've driven 90 mins to my place.
I've got bread/buns, fruit/berries, cheese, chicken and cake. I'm ready with decaf coffee and tea in case you are abstaining from caffeine and I'll offer a latte (which I'm having on ice). I've got yoghurt cups and cookies for your drive home just in case.

Really? I'm American too. Live here as well and I always have something for guests. I can't think of a time I went to someone's hone and wasn't offered something either.

I would not have been upset.

I would have expected a biscuit or cake with the tea.

That said, I usually bring something edible when visiting a new abode, or a plant.
Never wine. If they had shared the wine you would have had to have declined. And what if they are recovering alcoholics?

Carry some food when pregnant because you can't always safely eat what is offered, like soft cheeses.

It just sounds like your friends were not hosting the "event" you imagined. The timing and empty cups imply to them it was an half hour call round and check out our new home. To you a much bigger social visit. They were probably clock watching wondering how much longer you were gonna stay.

Of course it's simple bloody hosting to offer food, FFS. Stop splitting feathers

Woman is pregnant, driven for two hours and hasn't even been offered a yaddy custard cream??

Come on

I always have food for hosts, and if someone can driving that distance, and pregnant, i’d make more effort. It’s basic in hosting terms if you ask me. I would be embarrassed to offer someone no snacks if they came a long way. Even a few biscuits would have done. That said, some people are quite thoughtless, but i’ve always been a good host. I don’t think i’ve been anywhere for a few hours (that kind of distance) and not offered a few biscuits - cakes. It didn’t need to be a lot of effort, just a few biscuits on a plate when they gave you the tea.

I used to host a lot when I was younger, and kids were small. I made so many dinners for people and was rarely invited back, but to me that’s just good hosting and I obviously invited them.

We're the opposite. I find it weird that someone visiting for two hours needs feeding.

Breakfast to lunch is about 5 hours in our house, lunch to supper is another 5 or 6 hours. We don't really snack between meals. I'd always offer a warm drink but not food.

Having said that, if someone was travelling for two hours, I'd invite them to come for supper and stay the night.

I could not be friends with such spiritually ungenerous people.
“Guests in the house = God in the house”

Get over yourself you were only there 2 hours !

Bit stingy of you, someone came out of town to visit?
And not even 1 biscuit?
Nice way to ensure you'd never get another visit!
I would've made a lunch tbh
A full blown meal.

I eat three meals a day and if I do snack inbetween it’s a few nuts/grapes but I don’t ‘need’ it. If I was invited to someone’s house for lunch/dinner I’d expect food, if I was invited for the morning or afternoon I wouldn’t. I would probably have a snack in the car on a longer journey though as i usually feel a bit nauseous.
if someone was coming to mine and had traveled more than a hour I’d definitely offer crisps/biscuits. /cake though. And I would definitely assume a pregnant woman would be hungry as I recall eating more during pregnancy.

I wpild always offer afternoon guests biscuits or cake. I suspect your extreme hunger and nausea after 4 hrs was really more pregnancy related though. If you had snacks in the car why didn't you just say "I'm really hungry just popping out to the car to get a snack to go with my tea"

I think your decision not to eat in a local pub in case they saw you was quite bizarre.

I think it's odd not to offer biscuits or any form of snack at all. One of my friends is a bit like this, but I know to have something on the way if I'm going to see her!
I wouldn't have felt awkward about going to a nearby pub though, even if you did see them there - they must realise you'll be wanting to eat at some point.

I'm actually astonished at the amount of people who said you're unreasonable.
I just gave birth, my entire pregnancy anywhere i went, people fed me, i would do the same.
The fact that you travelled out of town to visit, makes it so much worse.
These comments make it sound like you visited a museum and not a friend's house, look around the house and leave?😅
What are we doing? House viewing?
Of course you're not unreasonable OP
Its actually embarrassing for them and the people who agree with this, very unhospitable.

Not really sure what you want anyone to say here.

Do you want us all to agree that they were intentionally rude so you never have to see them again or what?

If I had moved and invited a friend to see our new place I would have offered a biscuit or cake but not necessarily food if you were coming in the afternoon, not a meal time. I’d had invited you it would have been for lunch but they hadn’t. It sounded like a short visit was their expectation even if that was unreasonable due to distances involved

I'm a bit stunned that people think a pregnant woman could, and should, be able to go 2 hours without eating. In OP's scenario, it's at least 3 1/2 hours without eating as it was
1 1/2 hours travel plus 2 hours to visit. Appetite fluctuates when pregnant.
However, OP really could've done a few things:
Asked her friend if they should go together for lunch upon arrival then go back to friend's for coffee and to see their new home;
suggested they go out to eat after a short visit and a look at the home;
asked if they should bring something;
brought something;
asked friend for a snack as feeling light-headed (yes, awkward, but needs must);
or said, Anyone else feeling hungry or is it just me being pregnant? Shall we go out? I really need to eat now.

I would have offered some cake or biscuits in the same scenario so I don't think you're being unreasonable - have you visited them before?

@Friendlygingercat - your friend wasn't very hospitable either but did you take the wine away with you? Its supposed to be a gift for a host, not something you take because it wasn't opened

I travelled on a Friday night straight from work, over 3 hour journey with no gaps in between train connections due to delays, to visit a friend for the weekend. When I arrived at 8.30pm I was not offered any food/snack! Luckily I had taken a couple of snacks in my bag for the journey but I was hungry when I arrived. I had been keeping my friend informed on the way and she knew I was coming straight from work. So strange not to think that I might be needing something to eat - even just a slice of toast/cereal/simple sandwich!

It was rude but if you brought a cake it would’ve solved this. It’s a good idea though to carry a snack bar, wrapped biscuit/bar in future. I think maybe they just weren’t thinking and didn’t offer you something to eat.