To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

I agree the OP should have said something. It’s the number of posters making pissy remarks about adults snacking, or doubting that the OP could have felt nauseous etc I’m surprised at.

“Would never DREAM of giving an adult a snack
in a two hour visit!!!” Clutches pearls

this post Is the mumsnet chicken feeding a family of four for a week bingo!
#eatingdisorder

I didn't realise adults needed to snack every couple of hours how do you manage at work?

Agree, it’s so inhospitable, no way would I not have some nice food ready to offer in the same situation.

This🤣🤣

I’m also having a good old laugh at the competitive empty cake tins. If I wasn’t inclined to keep biscuits or cake in the house, I would either go out and buy some for my guest, who I KNEW was coming, or I would cobble something together from the cupboard. Even if it was jam on toast or something. Ah …probably no jam in the house either.

It's called being hospitable and welcoming. It's irrelevant whether you eat cake or biscuits, you should offer them.

It's completely normal and expected in Britain that if you are invited to someone's house for a couple of hours you will be offered tea or coffee, and with that drink you'll be offered biscuits or cake.

Again, I did not knock on their door unannounced and 'expected' to be fed because I cannot buy myself food.
They invited us for an afternoon at their place, planned and advertised as 'spending long overdue quality time together'. Doesn't really sound like a super short 'just pop in' visit.
In my book there is more to hosting then just offering a glass of water or coffee (if I must).

It is unusual. Honestly, it sounds a bit like they didn’t want you to stay
for too long.

No I wouldn't expect food. Biscuit would have been nice.

I dont see issue about going to local pub for dinner.

Obviously op’s pregnancy is a factor and perhaps she will travel with snacks in future, but taking the pregnancy out of the equation, this host’s hospitality was pretty poor.

Anyone coming to tea or coffee at my house would be offered cake or biscuits, even if they lived a five minute walk away. Even perhaps some small sandwiches at tea time.

And certainly anyone travelling 90 mins by car + 2 hrs of socialising + journey home needs at least to be offered some light sustenance!

That was sort of our conclusion too. But why would you expect someone to spend 4 hours in the car (and tbh it was probably more, traffic was just horror) to pop by just for an hour...and really they definitely invited us for 'an afternoon together'

These people are complete savages and anyone thinking of not offering a house guest a piece of cake/biscuit/sandwich when they’ve driven two hours to see you and brought a present has been similarly dragged up.

I mean yes I would have had something in for you but I wouldn’t begrudge someone if they didn’t.

We would have got something in for the occasion, but we sometimes have family round between meals and will only offer something if we are having it, normally they are specifically coming for food though so we don't have that problem!

Most people I know only offer food if they are having it, and my sister will only give one cup of tea, then nothing else at all to any visitors, but they don't host very well and make it pretty obvious they want you to fuck off as soon as possible.. if there are planning to have something they will 100% wait until you've gone so they don't have to share it!

They probably thought you'd stop off for lunch, seeing as it was after lunch time when you arrived.

I walk to my friend's house, 5 minutes away. I'm always offered tea/coffee and some biscuits or cake.
They are terrible hosts.

If your pregnant friend came to see you, having travelled a couple of hours to do that, you wouldn't think to offer her a little snack?

I get breaks at work so if I’m hungry I can eat then
or if for some reason I’m ravenous/feel faint, I would grab something quickly

If I went to a friends for two hours in between meal times I wouldn’t expect food, but considering the distance it is bizarre she didn’t offer anything. If it’s been a while since I saw you I definitely would have made some banana bread or something!

Had something similar when the DC were little. Invited over to see a friends new home - at least 90 mins from home. The kind of friends who would normally be generous hosts and we would spend nice long visits together.

But there was no food offered (I don't mean a meal - we weren't expecting a meal - but an afternoon snack of some kind). We had to leave to feed the kids because they were obviously getting pretty hungry. When we said we needed to go, they were surprised and wanted us to stay longer. We explained that the kids needed to eat. And they said OK then. It was so strange.

They were hungover that day, so maybe didn't have an appetite and didn't think of offering anything to guests. I don't know. It was very unusual though

Yeah i don't get breaks every 2 hours and I don't get to just stop working and nip off to get a snack.

Have you had your blood sugar checked? When i had gestational diabetes I HAD to eat every 2 hours or my sugars plummeted and I felt really ill
.
Otherwise id say 6 hours without food is hardly a killer

Lol this did make me laugh.

We’re supposed to believe you were in someone’s house for two hours and started stealing food?? 🤣🤣🤣

Yes, all good with blood sugar.
Even when not pregnant I eat smaller meals and often. No way I go say 3-4 hours without eating something (alternating between main meals, fruit, sweet or savoury snacks or little in between meals...).
I've never been overweight, actually I am quite a slim person - so really - all perfectly fine with my eating habits.
And this topic is really not about keeping me full or me being pregnant - sorry it turned out like that.
It's about basic manners really, one should offer a snack when hosting (especially if one insisted for the visit to take place). Even if no-one is hungry and noone touches anything you've put on the table (being it a biscuit, a slice of cake or cheese) - you do bring that out, without asking...

You are not being unreasonable to have hoped to be offered tea/coffee and cake or biscuits when visiting. It’s the done thing. If I have visitors (expected or unexpected) I always put the kettle on and offer something suitable to eat.