Bf blocked me on my birthday today

[heidi696]

It’s a long story but basically it’s a long distance relationship and it’s been unclear if he was free to meet today as it’s my birthday. Last Tuesday I said oh it doesn’t look like we are meeting on Sunday but he got a bit angry and said something like don’t assume you don’t know yet. So even though I kinda knew we wouldn’t as I know he is busy I had a secret hope that he had a plan. I didn’t ask again and he didn’t say anything. So this morning when I got his text saying sorry I can’t be with you today and a digital card I was really really disappointed. I stupidly had nothing else planned. I admit I didn’t handle it well and lashed out a load of texts and we ended up having an argument and then he blocked me. I was so shocked and upset:I’ve been crying all day. I can’t believe he would do that. It’s 1030
now so I guess that’s it for the day. Honestly I don’t know if it’s forever or just to silence me for a while:
im just so sad. I can’t stop crying and torturing myself: if only I had said nothing etc i more he was busy so why did i add to his stress: I really hate myself

What are you frightened about losing? A guy who doesn’t prioritise you, who keeps you in the background, who blocks you when you ask for attention on your birthday? Doesn’t seem like you’d be losing much!

Unless you are the OW, it’s pathetic that you’re not going to the wedding because his ex-wife would be upset.

Sounds like you’re a bit on the side when he doesn’t have something else to occupy him.

I know it sounds harsh, but you deserve to be someone’s priority. Put this one back in the bin OP!! You’re worth more!

Gosh this is a bit desperate op, honestly habe some self respect.

How can you fancy someone who treats you poorly? Saying, He ignores me, won't have me around his family, is too busy for my birthday...but, gosh I really like him... makes you sound utterly clueless and desperate.

You sound pathetically desperate.

Buy a vibrator for god's sake and have more self respect.

@ChristmasCwtchwhen I asked on here about the wedding 99% of people said I should not be invited and that it was right that I wasn’t mainly for 2 reasons - one we are not going out very long and 2 that his son should not have any possible drama at the wedding . Honestly I’m not that bothered any more. It would have been nice to be included but last thing I want is to be the reason for drama

Yeh I know I’m pathetic - he keeps irising everything will change after the wedding so I’m just waiting and seeing for now. I don’t see him anyway so it doesn’t really make much difference at the moment.

How do you work that out? You spent your birthday crying? If you could emotionally disengage that would be one thing. But you can’t, and this is absolutely shattering your self respect. Surely it’s not worth it?

Why don’t you dump him and tell him to check in after the wedding. Hopefully with a bit of headspace you’ll realise that you’re better off without him.

Do you feel better after that?

So many people kicking the OP when she's down.

The issue isn't around helping his son or whatever, it's about the fact that he kept you hanging and you ended up doing nothing.

The way to deal with it would be to say "ok as you can't commit to plans then I'll go do something else" and then stick to that.

You might not want to leave him but you do need to claw back some respect, and that's how.

And you sound incredibly nasty.

If just a short term relationship then you not going to the wedding is fair enough. Him not saying “ no wedding preps on Sat as it’s x’s birthday “ and prioritising being with you is a problem, eapecially as you seem to have made him the centre of your world and to not be making plans that don’t involve him. If he wasn’t bothered enough to say that to his son then he should have let you know as soon as he knew he wouldn’t be there.

If ever there’s a man who’s not divorced, this is him!

If he couldn’t be with you on the day he could have still planned an alternative day out or sent a proper card or flowers or thoughtful gift though the post. An e-card is such an ‘oh crap I forgot and she’ll be mad’ afterthought. You aren’t a priority for him OP. You deserve better.

If he couldn’t be with you on the day he could have still planned an alternative day out or sent a proper card or flowers or thoughtful gift though the post. An e-card is such an ‘oh crap I forgot and she’ll be mad’ afterthought. You aren’t a priority for him OP. You deserve better.

Sorry OP but this relationship is done.

It's 100% reasonable to want to know in advance whether your boyfriend is spending your birthday with you. It's ok if he's busy but you need to know that in advance to be able to make other plans with other people.

You don't have the distance to have perspective on this but he's making you feel bad about yourself which is why you feel so relieved/happy when you're with him and he's nice to you.

That's not really a sustainable relationship.

So sorry you had a bad birthday, happy belated birthday.

you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Finish with him and block him. Next year you will have a better birthday.

You’re going to look back on this when you’re older and more mature, and you’re going to cringe so much your head explodes. Run, fast as you can, away from this man. He’s taking you for a long, ridiculous ride.

You've hit the nail on the head by saying you've not been with this guy very long.

Both of you would probably be happier if you found someone else, not so far away.

You're making an idiot of yourself over the birthday when you've only been seeing him for five minutes.

Even if he does change, which he won’t, you should be questioning why he’s set this ominous date in the future to not be vile. It’s like me with my Dieting. I say I’ll start tomorrow and we all know I’m full of shit. I feel awful for you. He’s broken you and he’s breaking you more every day. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Find your peace as a single person, focus on yourself and then, when you realise you value, look for someone else.

Total wanker. Dump and run. Enjoy your freedom from this total fuckwit.

The wedding is a red herring.

"Last Tuesday I said oh it doesn’t look like we are meeting on Sunday but he got a bit angry and said something like don’t assume you don’t know yet."

You tried to clarify if he was seeing you and he deliberately:
Implied that he'd make plans to see you
Didn't tell you otherwise to give you chance to actually do something with your day

That's just really shit OP, it's not mis communication, its either someone who has massive communication issues / tells people what they want to hear at the expense of the truth, or worse deliberately wanted to keep you hanging so you didn't go out and have fun without him.

And he hasn't even fucking apologised for ruining your birthday. I know you really fancy him but 10 minutes of fun every time you see him surely can't make up for this level of misery?

You aren’t pathetic. But you are trying to make this a relationship it isn’t. He doesn’t have the capacity and I don’t think you do.
I’ve been there- it all sounds so familiar. But this isn’t good for you. If you can get hold of a book called “mr unavailable and the fallback girl” you might find it helpful. Be single

Omg my mouth dropped when I read he’s old enough to have a son getting married and he’s behaving this way, I assumed you’d both be teenagers. You deserve much much better OP

bullshit things will change.

Honestly thought this thread was a 20 something year old then saw your update about his son getting married…

It isn’t working out, that’s pretty plain to see. I’m sure if he wanted to make time for you on your bday he would have done but he chose not to.